I just had the most exasperating conversation with a friend. I'm posting the chat transcript here. Names have been changed.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
HIM: hi
ME: hello
HIM: long time, remember me?
ME: yes.from the bank. Access bank
HIM: yes I actually moved to ecobank 18 months ago
ME: good for you
HIM: been over two years now since I saw u
Me: why did you move? Well I've been in school for two years. That would explain a lot
HIM: am also out from ecobank
ME: i thought you were in ecobank
HIM: I just set up an IT consulting firm called Kaplan consult last two weeks
ME: isn't there already a company with that name?
HIM: not in nija. Something close to that in uk though, but its us in nija. Why not, u have anything against the name?
ME: it doesn't really make sense for a Nigerian company to have an obviously American/English name
Spanish companies always have Spanish names
Arabian companies always have Arabic names
A Nigerian company with an English/American name just seems....pretentious
HIM: I get ur point, but it works differently here, people accept u more when u seem foreign
ME: well those same people are the same reason why the slave trade happened. Nigerians need to be proud of Nigeria
HIM: now ur going too far. We are proud of us.
ME: running around trying to "be foreign" makes us the laughing stock of the world and makes people respect us less. I'm not going too far. The truth is, Nigerians aren't proud of Nigeria or other Nigerians
Americans are some of the most patriotic bastards on earth
Americans will drive 50 miles out of their way to buy a damn apple just because they know it was grown in America rather than buying the apple imported from China down the street
HIM: i see
ME: and it's the same with most countries. Nigeria is the only country where it's the exact opposite
HIM: not nija
ME: we shun Nigerian affiliated products. I'm not for stupidly or blindly buying Nigerian all the time but if the product is world standard then it's an equal choice but Nigerians will ALWAYS choose the foreign product even if it really is substandard and if you're wondering what my point is in all of this it is that Nigerian companies giving themselves foreign names are contributing to our already rock bottom national self esteem
HIM: what can I say, guess it’s the way things have gone from bad to worse here. U can’t seem to trust any Nigerian anymore
ME: when a Nigerian company targeted at Nigerians does not think that a Nigerian name would be profitable, then you know there is a problem and Obama isn't going to fight our battles for us either. We are responsible for the way the world views us
And we seem to have a very spineless common patriotism meaning we're with it when it's good and we can't stick it when it's bad
HIM: we are an evolving race, we will get there, but not until we all change our way of doing things
ME: it's your company and you can call it what you want, but if I didn't know you, I would totally think "what the hell is wrong with that company and why on earth are they called Kaplan?" The same goes for companies called Andy Best, Wellington, and all other related things. As far as I and a growing number of Nigerians are concerned, foreignness does NOT impress. It's only there to dazzle the uneducated Nigerian masses that don't know any better
HIM: at the moment the name suits Nigeria, cos this is where we are doing business and we must brand to fit in, we can’t change the whole country and their perception, at least not while we are just starting
ME: how does naming your company Kaplan help you to fit in? It does NOT make sense. It really does not, and it is sooo going to bite you in the ass in the end
HIM: its gives an impression that it’s foreign, Nigerians embrace foreign. That’s not my making
ME: when they hear Kaplan they are going to expect white people, and when they see you they are going to get pissed off, and how does that help you?
HIM: they will see black reps
ME: no, they will see black people pretending to be white. Has it really come to that?
HIM: no way
ME: that you have to pretend to be white in YOUR OWN COUNTRY. Because that is what you are doing
Whether you realize it or not, by naming your company Kaplan
HIM: they will see black reps doing things the white man way, that’s the way the country is for now
ME: there is NO white man way
How can you not see this? Success is success. the colour of your skin has fuck all to do with it there are just as many white failures as there are black failures you are implying that running a successful business is the "white man way" and running an unsuccessful one is the "black man way"
HIM: success comes doing things the right way with God on your side. We have learnt from the western world.
ME: I CANNOT believe you just said that. I really CANNOT believe I just read that. This is PRECISELY the reason why that country is getting fucked in every hole by her OWN PEOPLE! So by your reasoning, Mike Adenuga is white or at least should be
HIM: u miss the point.
ME: no I don't. YOU miss the point. The point is whether you like it or not, YOU are a BLACK AFRICAN, you live in a BLACK AFRICAN country, you CANNOT pretend to be a white person because you think that it makes your company better by being white or white affiliated, and by doing this
HIM: Mike couldn’t have done it without following the right way and using the best brains, both white and black
ME: YOU are undermining an entire country of people. Yes. BUT YOU SAID that doing stuff well is "THE WHITE WAY" that is what you said implying that black people and specifically Nigerians are incapable of being successful at anything not a literal meaning of that
ME: implying that Nigerians need the crutch of whiteness to help them succeed
HIM: I mean the western way, implying the professional and right way
ME: implying that if you do not give your company a name that will cause most people to think that it is white owned that it will fail. THE WESTERN WAY IS NOT THE PROFESSIONAL OR RIGHT WAY
HIM: hats not what it is
ME: ALL COUNTRIES HAVE PROFESSIONAL AND RIGHT MODES OF BEHAVIOUR AND BUSINESS but YOU are trying to imply that the only correct way of doing anything must come from the west
HIM: Not Nigeria, try doing business here and u would know the difference
ME: and I CANNOT BELIEVE that you sincerely think this way, and by the way, companies have social responsibility
HIM: I do
ME: what do you think of that huh? Your company has a social responsibility to the Nigerian people
HIM: yes I agree to that
ME: to not attempt to brainwash them any further than they already have been
HIM: we are not brainwashing them
ME: because a Nigerian company was too afraid to operate under a Nigerian name. Yes you are. You and every Nigerian company out there called John Adams or whatever. Every one of you are destroying the self esteem of generations of unborn Nigerian children
HIM: Know the truth, we can’t change Nigeria just yet, no matter how good and strong your views are the country will not change just yet for the two of us
ME: but I am against effacing your own culture because you don't think it's good enough
HIM: no wahala. I get ur point and I have noted them
ME: which is exactly what happened to us when the British and the slavers came and it's happening again just not so violently .I'm not saying this to you because I want to pour sand in your garri. I say it to everyone. I say it on blogs, when I write articles, when I talk to people
HIM: hmmm, ur really passionate about this whole thing.
ME: every time Nigerian artists, as they are doing right now, populate their videos with white girls, they are sending a message to little Nigerian girls; your daughter, your sister, your cousin, your friend
HIM: it sells there videos
ME: that they are NOT GOOD ENOUGH .that is what they are saying to these children>don't bother, EVEN IN YOUR OWN COUNTRY you are NOT, and WILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH. Is that something you would like your baby sister or your daughter growing up believing? That she is not good enough for even the people in her own country? That she is worthless because she is not white? If you are okay with that then hey, but I am not. People might say "oh that sells their videos" but have you stopped to think WHY that is what sells their videos?
HIM: madam, I think we should continue this talk when I come to Yankee
ME: have you stopped to think WHY black people would rather see a white person on TV than another black person?
HIM: i need to leave my office now
ME: it is because every day they run into companies, Nigerian companies called Kaplan. I'm fine
HIM: hope ur fine and school is ok
HIM: hahahahaha
ME: go think about what I said long and hard
HIM: I won’t
ME: can't force you. It’s your call. But know it's not just a name. Every name has a meaning. Think about the meaning of yours
HIM: there is credit crunch, am thinking about one tin only, MONEY
ME: fine. If you want to sacrifice your children's future then have fun naming your company Kaplan but I know I will respect Dangote more
HIM: IT’S BEEN DONE, THE NAME CANT BE CHANGED
Me: it's DANGOTE sugar I see on the box. Maybe, but in five years, if you are successful I would change it if I were you
HIM: will think about that, but not until five years time
Me: fine, let your conscience be your guide
HIM: what’s the name of ur school? Anyway, I need to run. Talk again later. Take care
All I have to say is: When Etisalat decided to expand to Nigeria, they didn't even think about changing their name to sound more Nigerian in order to appeal to their new 140million strong Nigerian market. Come on, don't shake your head, everyone knows that LOADS of companies are known by very different names in different countries, and they do this in order to appeal to their local markets in each country. Given that Nigeria is by population, about half the size of the United States, you'd think we'd warrant companies making a few exceptions for us. But they don't, because we the Nigerians are already bending over backwards to divest ourselves of our Nigerianness to please foreigners. We're almost as bad as the Africans that do tribal dances whenever the Vogue crew comes around for another photo shoot and uses tribal chiefs as living props for some hungry-ass model. I’m just sitting here shaking my head. Maybe there really is no hope and I should just give up and go and study for my finance exam instead.
17 sugabellisms:
wow.... i had no idea nigerians still felt that way you would think with the dbanjs and chiwitels of the world we would have at least a litlle pride in ourselves as nigerians. it worries me so much white girls in nija music videos or shooting ur video in yankee as if jlo will come and shoot her video in nigeria as if steven spielberg will come and make movies in nigeria. that wouldnt happen even if the film was about nigera. it seriously makes me sad. but all we can hope for is that our generation will change things so that future nigerians will have what we are lacking at the moment
i'm just bad that the dude kept saying "that's the way it is, we can't change it". The one thing I HATE about some Nigerians is their complacency. No desire to change anything: they like to take the path of least resistance, and then suffer the consequences. Everyone can change something, even just a little. they just need to have the damn balls to do it.
and i think the appropriate term for this phenomenon is "self-hate", not colorism, though the two are related.
Sorry but I got frustrated after 8 exchanges...*sigh
I wish i could stand to applaud your effort at convincing your friend.
I wish he had at least given a better reason for choosing to name his company KAPLAN, besides it coming off as a white company.
There is sooo, sooo much creativity in our dear country Nigeria, but for every shoemaker who produces a solid pair of palm slippers and proceeds to write "PRADO" on it, we continue to stab ourselves in the back.
For every Nigerian artist or producer who decides they have to fly out of Nigeria 4 their video to be tight and then proceed to use white chics, we reassure ourselves that we will never be good enough!
I really wish there are more Nigerians out there, who are proud of who we are as Nigerians, and completely embrace our Nigerianess in every way possible!
Ahem! In (fairness?) to your friend I suppose he didn't give a lot of thought to the name "Kaplan" when he chose it. It just sounded good to him. So in a world of Michael Stevens, Kimberly Ryans etc (Nigerian companies with western names) Kaplan just joined the queue. I remember getting really pissed off at the blatant pretentiousness of a particular brand name about 4 years ago when I noticed a billboard advertising them (at the time they didn't even have a website). 4 years later, this same company comes to bid for a job with my organisation where it had become my functional responsibility to select vendors offering that particular service. Imagine my increased disgust at them when I found that underneath their "big name wey dey kill small dog" they were at best a mediocre outfit. Tell Mr. Kaplan, your friend, that Nigerians are not clueless. If you are unable to provide quality service or goods you are more unlikely to establish yourself as a reputable brand and consequently not make money (seeing as money is his driving factor). Pretentions only take you so far. It is even worse with the global economic crisis, everybody wants considerable return on investments whether you get it from Okoro & Okoro or from Microsoft. Mstcheew!
I get what you were trying to do, and while noble, you should have realized it was a lost cause 2 minutes into that conversation.
It's a sad state of affairs.
This post/chat was really insightful. Although I would say that it would be hard for your friend to change his company's name, since it is already written in stone and is already underway.
Yet, I see the point you clearly illustrated here: that is we, as Nigerians, do not even care about the pride of our own Country but instead respect other Countries more, then we are not planning on moving forward any time soon. It is like a man who looks in a mirror and then forgets how he looks...but rather when he goes outside he sees others as better than himself, regardless of how they look.
Gurrrl, don't even get me started!!!!!! You are spot on the money. Full stop.
In fact, I recently had a public blog rant at notjustok.com because of a poster I saw there. Some event featuring Nigerian artists like Dbanj, Banky, Asa and others. It also featured Angie Stone, Carl Thomas and some other American crooner whose name escapes me.
Can you believe, the American artists were right smack in the middle with the Naija artists relegated to the outskirts.
????
I still get heated thinking about it. This poster was for n event in Naija and as far as I am concerned our naija artists are hotter than the American artists involved in that event. No reason for them to get all the shine.
Let me calm down, cos there is no need to be heated at 9:30 in the morning. This is going to be a fabulous weekend of serious antique shopping (vintage bags and other misc pieces, and a trip to Crate and Barrel yay!). so, i will think happy thoughts...
NIGERIAN CURIOSITY
IT WAS SO MUCH EASIER WHEN I ONLY HAD ONE...
@Oma: trust me, this is just the tip of the iceberg.
@Mellowyel: I got so disgusted with him, I almost cried in anger.. and yes, it is self hate
@bob-ij: he really was most exasperating
@mizchif: So true
@poetically tinted: LOL at big name wey dey kill small dog. I think in Igbo it's called Oke afa ne gbu nwa nkita.
@onydchic: Maybe I should have just given up for my own piece of mind.
@Jaycee: It's a terrible problem we need to address or that nation is going to get worse than it already is
@SSD: That's what they ALWAYS do. They treat the American artists as if they are gods, and treat Nigerian artists like shit. The American artists don't even put on half the show they do in America. They just come, wear some nice clothes and sing. None of the wow factor, meanwhile we pay them three times what they earn in America. We the same people who pay billions of naira to American artists ban Nigerian actors who want to earn more than 1 million Naira per film. 1 million naira is seventeen thousand dollars. Go figure.
At the same time, Nigerian artists don't have my sympathy either. They idolize white people, whiteness, foreigness and publicly reject everything that is Nigerian except their nationality and their language. And they are leading everyday Nigerians to think this way too. The whole situation makes me sick.
Have fun shopping.
Sugabelly,
I love and respect the way you write. And I find it hard to believe that a 20-year-old person is so articulate and thoughtful. You should consider writing for a career.
Having said that, on this post, una no do well at all-at all!
1) I, too, disagree with his naming the company Kaplan when a Nigerian name would have been great. I'd be happier with Chukwuemeka-Orimogunje-Umaru Consulting. :) I believe in celebrating our names, our culture, etc.
2) I also, however, disagree with the examples you have given as to models of African (or Nigerian in this case) success in business.
You have named Etisalat (of Bello-Osagie), Dangote and Adenuga.
To be sure, these are very important Nigerian businessmen. What you want to ask, however, is whether they are also not 'destroying the self-esteem of future generations', whether they are doing anything paticularly useful for the Nigerian people, and indeed HOW they obtained their wealth (I know some might say this is irrelevant, but it is not. What does it do for a child's self-esteem when he grows up in a society where only the most corrupt rogues are considered 'successful' businessmen?!). Promoting the 'African' way cannot be divorced from the motives of business. Like you so kindly mentioned, businesses have a social responsibility, and when we assess the companies and businessmen you named, I'm guessing the least social harm comes from folks who name their companies Kaplan. Dangote & Co. do far more to harm the future (including self-esteem) of Nigerian children than do the likes of your friend who have named their companies Kaplan or John Smith or whatever.
It appears you are unaware that Aliko Dangote (for all his claims of being a self-made billionaire) actually made the vast majority of his money by being in bed with Government. For years, he more or less stifled competition in the cement business by purchasing (from successive governments, including the IBB, Abacha, Abdulsalami & OBJ) a monopolistic license to import cement. Cement is crucial to the development of any country, particularly young nations like Nigeria. After about a decade of this madness, where Mr. Dangote (who is basically the Carlos Slim of Nigeria - only more egotistical and self-centered) drove up Nigeria's trade deficit to frightening heights, the government asked him to move into cement production (as opposed to the non-value-adding cement-bagging he previously did: I'm sure you hear a lot about African countries mortgaging away their children's futures by not adding value to their products!). This he gladly did by opening the Kogi State plant (Obajana), but only after requesting that the government (then OBJ-led) shut down the Ibeto cement plant in Port Harcourt. OBJ, being the money-hungry whore that he is, could not resist.
Only after Yar'adua came into power was Ibeto given a break (thus the praise singing of Yaradua by the owner of the plant). His plant has subsequently re-opened. However, in the time that he was unable to produce any cement, Dangote had moved in and cornered the market and supply chain for locally produced cement. In sum, this is the modus-operandi of this demon called Aliko Dangote. He has employed the same tactics with rice (buy up a license, establish a monopoly, fine-tune your supply chain network, price competitors out of market, and then - after the inevitable outcry - allow your competitors back in the market, which you have now firmly conquered). The result of Dangotonomics is that Nigeria is the 2nd highest importer of rice in the world (again, with African countries and value-adding: where is the value-adding with importing far more than you produce), it used to be the 2nd highest importer & bagger of cement in the world (again with African countries and value adding). The story is the same with wheat flour, with noodles & spaghetti, etc. Notice that Dangote completely ignores the local foods in which we may have a competitive advantage (palm oil, beans, even corn sef if we push it!). While I will not be foolish enough to claim that Nigeria's eschewing of plantain-for sausage, garri-for-wheatflour, and beans-for-rice would not have happened without Dangote, there is no doubt that his penchant for obtaining monopolies have worsened matters and left us with a young generation that now prefers rice to any of the native foods in Nigeria where we may have a chance of a competitive advantage. It is much the same with sugar - go read up on what he has done with importing sugar into Nigeria and killing off competitors and local industry.
When you speak of the name of his company, agreed, it is nice that he used his name. Yet, let's be clear here. This is a man who comes across as egotistical. Note his peeved comments when Oprah Winfrey was declared the richest black person on earth ("I am worth at least $20 billion, wtf is Forbes talking about?!"). He came across as a kid whose toy had been stolen. I suspect the well that feeds his ego is the same one that made him name his company after him. Or it might just be the natural habit of people to name things after themselves. In any case, I doubt that Mr. Dangote had our 'future generations' self-esteem' in mind when he decided to name his company. Besides, you must not forget that he comes from a family which can be likened to the Kennedy's - or Carnegie's. The name Dantata in Northern Nigeria (for those old enough to know) would open doors for anyone in the same way that the name Kennedy almost gave Caroline the seat in the Senate. With these in mind, I have come to the conclusion that Dangote hardly had anybody's daughter or self-esteem in mind when he chose to name his company (and I know that was not your point). But this is just my own humble opinion.
Otedola played (and continues to play) the same game with diesel importation. He has a near monopoly (I believe this is actually an oligopoly) on diesel importation in Nigeria, and actively supports the importation of generators. The result is that Nigeria is one of the countries with the lowest per-capita grid-power supply, and diesel is one of our biggest imports despite Nigeria being one of the top 10 producers of electricity in the world. Yes, I commend him for naming his company after himself, but when the matter of social responsibility is brough up, Otedola's name is associated with preventing Nigeria from being weaned off its generator dependence. There are those who will claim that he is simply supplying what the country demands, which may be a valid claim. The problem is this: to the best of my knowledge, nobody has done an assessment of what demand for diesel would look like if it were not so gleefully supplied by Otedola and his cartel of gangsters.
Next I move on to Etisalat. First, I don't know what Etisalat means. Please help me describe this. It sounds foreign to my ears, but then I don't know more than 5 languages. As for the owner of Etisalat himself, Harvard-trained Bello Osagie, you want to (again) go to the root of his wealth. He it was who served as assistant to the oil adviser (Dikko) under Shehu Shagari, an administration that (despite the simplicity and perceived honesty of the man at the helm) is widely regarded (today) as the most corrupt administration of post-colonial Nigeria. The sheer looting that occured in this administration was only matched by the OBJ administration of 1999-07. Bello-Osagie, who had been born into a wealthy family, entered this administration a relatively well-off man. The transformation that occured during Shagari's tenure is of lore in government circles. Bello Osagie emerged one of Nigeria's wealthiest, without (at that time) any business activities to account for it. He subsequently moved into several business ventures (which failed spectacularly). One can liken these business ventures to the ubiquitous 'shops' opened by the wives of wealthy Nigerian men: mere window dressing for a lack of ideas. Etisalat will do well, but please let's not be confused about Bello-Osagie's past. I am sure the sheer amount of looting he (allegedly) conducted is a self-esteem booster for our future generations.
Sugabelly, dear, find other examples of African successes in business. These names you picked, dem get as e be. I won't even start on Adenuga, of EFCC-flee-to-Ghana fame!
Sorry for my rant, but I couldn't help it.
ooooh-jew.
@Uju: Hiya, I totally see where you're coming from, but let me clarify what I said a bit. I'm completely aware of Aliko Dangote's questionable business practices, but since I was arguing with my friend about the name of his company, I just pointed out that as far as names go, I respect Dangote more because the name is Hausa. Also, I'm familiar with Dantata. Wouldn't that be Dantata of Dantata and Sawoe?
I didn't know Etisalat was Nigerian owned. And you're right, Etisalat isn't a Nigerian word. It is an Arabic or Arabic-derived word. I never held up Etisalat as an example of a company operating in Nigeria under a suitable name. Being that I thought Etisalat was Arab owned, I pointed out that when Etisalat decided to expand to Nigeria, they didn't bother to change their Arab name to appeal more to their Nigerian market. I was trying to contrast Etisalat with my friend's company Kaplan as a proud Arab company that refuses to hide its Arab origins. However, now that I know that Etisalat is a Nigerian owned company, I have to conclude that Etisalat is part of the bad bunch of companies being given foreign names and made to appear foreign by Nigerians with hideously low self esteem.
you, my dear, have patience...conversations like that raise my blood pressure...it's funny how even in a Nigeria that is rapidly embracing all things Nigerian (i know for a fact Naija music is hotter than American hip hop, for instance),that this guy is making up excuses for the wannabe name that the company has..and at the end of it all, i'd rather use the services of a company called Okoro and sons, instead of Kaplan, when the quality of Okoro is better...ie, calling the damn thing JohnSmith doesn't mean anything if it's a substandard joint..and people are not stupid too...blech
i love your blog, btw...and you have this amazing, strong personality too!!
Sugabelly, I have mixed emotions or rather thoughts about this argument.
First of, I agree with your analysis on the naming convention he chose to adopt. It's almost as frustrating to me as when I hear the argument that our 419 boys are justified in their actions since they are doing the white man in.
However, it sounds to me like you are coming from a place of privilege with your argument. Dangote, Bello-Osagie and co come from wealthy families & have been exposed to much more culturally than your friend I would imagine. I have noticed that a lot of us who have gone outside the country and come back have a deeper sense of patriotism than some of us who have never left. Theirs is a case of "abeg I'm trying to put food on my table and you are here waxing philosophical."
Anyways I admire the passion you have when stating your opinion on certain issues, it will take you very far.
and hat-tip to Uju for the history lesson.
WOW. it is one thing to be ignorant, but when ignorant ppl make stupid rationalizations and actually try to pass it off as "thats the way it is" it is just a shame.(shakin head) i always marvel at the collective acceptance of this mode of thinking that ppl need to "white-fy" inorder to be better.(this is prolly why they were able to lure us onto that boat) whats also disturbing is tht this kid not only lifted an established company's name, he prolly didn't "realize" that Kaplan is a brand name and am sure there is no direct affiliations so he is using the name without permission (copyright issues??) altho jurisdiction wise, it might be hard to find him and all, but ethically his company is straight jackin. how is it that ppl are small minded? prolly becuz at the end of the day, most ppl are not equipped to be solutions, they just follow follow through life and just borrow pose, often times never contributing to anything. most ppl ascribe to this form of thinking without knowing any better, but this one seems to kno the difference but YET he still does it, u can't educate ppl like that, they just want to belong and be "part of", which ever way the wind blows they go that way.
If you don't accept and include yourself as part of the problem, u cld never be part of the solution.
Mental slavery is hard to abolish. (shaking head) .
great post as always dear, kudos on trying to educate this fella but he might just be a lost cause.
lol @ dude trying to end the conversation..u no gree for am..
I meet too many Nigerians with the same perspective on trying to run businesses in Nigeria and u know what? I'm tired of saying the same thing every single time..in fact, I think they all need to be beaten with koboko!! Maybe that will wake them up..rubbish and nonsense.
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