I Just Discovered a Family Member's Blog

... which coincidentally, I've been reading for months now. I feel like such an ode because I kept saying to myself ' this all sounds sooo familiar'.

So I don't accidentally out her, I can't say what the familial relationship between us is, because if I did, those of you who know me in real life would automatically know who she is.

So, without further ado, here's her blog. Now go forth and send her some love:

http://underconstruction-oma.blogspot.com/

Independence Giveaway!!!

Hey everyone! In celebration of our beloved country turning 49, I'm giving away one Dinka t-shirt to a very lucky reader/blogger/denizen of teh interwebs.

All you have to do is answer this question in the comments and the winner will be chosen randomly.

The only criteria is that you have to live in or have a postal address in the USA. (I'm sorry everyone else, but until I figure out this International shipping business we'll have to keep it local for the time being).

Question: What is the name of Dinka's mascot?

The prize is the Kai Haba t-shirt from the new mini collection, modeled by me like so: (lol)

The t-shirt glows in the dark
Hence me posing in the darkness

P.S. Don't worry if you're a guy because there's a male version. I'm just wearing the girls' tee.

P.P.S. Best Friends, Family, Partners, Ex-boyfriends, and other Affiliates are strictly prohibited from entering this competition. Yes Sulhip, Lolia, Mellowyel, Rekiya, and Mi-Chan, that means YOU!!!

P.P.P.S. Due to the proximity of Independence Day, I make no guarantees that you will get the t-shirt before or by Independence. In fact, assume from this moment on that you will get it AFTER Independence, and if you do manage to get it on the actual day, then make sacrifices to your ancestors, or thank your Chi.

This giveaway is now closed. The winner will be announced shortly!

I'm Too Lazy to Rebraid My Hair

So even though it's effing cold outside I decided to wear it out today. Let's hope I don't catch a cold on top of my flu.

Ignore the expression on my face. No, it is not an attempt at SexyFace; it is just very hard to hold your hair, bend forward enough to get most of it into the viewfinder and press the capture button at the same time.
My hair is actually quite long, but it shrinks about 80 - 85%.
As you can see I can't even fit my hand with the entire strand into the picture.

I missed brunch. :( I'm soo hungry. Going to buy icecream cake and eat it all alone. Yum Yum!

It Just Got Worse

You remember my childhood best friend?

You know, this one:


Well he just put a new photo on Facebook and I'm seriously going to unfriend him if he continues to behave in this manner.

Seriously, I cannot effing deal with this:

I refuse to be tormented by this shit

Men Strike Again

So I came across the Ask Men 99 Most Desirable Women list and I was bored so I decided to see who these 99 women were.

I quickly became disenchanted.

Out of 99 women, only 8 were Black, all the rest were White. Except for MIA and Aishwarya Rai who are Indian. There were some Latinas there too but they were all Latinas of Spanish descent (i.e. the Latinas who look white not the ones who actually look South American)

Cassie, Alicia Keys, Halle Berry, Beyonce, Rihanna, Zoe Saldana, Leona Lewis, and Selita Ebanks.

Out of 8 Black women, 4 were half-caste (now I have nothing against half-castes but in this case it is relevant as I am pointing out how few typically Black women made the list)

Out of the remaining 4 women only 2 were even moderately dark-skinned. (Zoe Saldana and Selita Ebanks)

So out of the 8 Black women that made the list, 6 were light-skinned and the other two were somewhere close to the threshold of darkness/lightness. (Well Selita Ebanks is definitely darker than Zoe Saldana). Zero were completely, categorically, inescapably, and unequivocally dark.

Now, out of the 8 women again, only 2 had a wide/somewhat wide nose (Rihanna and Zoe Saldana - and maybe Leona Lewis to a tiny degree). All the rest had fairly/relatively straight/pointy noses (Halle, Beyonce, Alicia, Selita, Cassie, and Leona Lewis to a lesser degree).

Out of 8 Black women that made the list, 0 (ZERO) had natural hair.

Why am I even talking about this? (since I talk about this a lot)

It just seems to me that even with all the discussion and recent resistance to this cloying and suffocating European ideal of beauty, loads of men (at least the ones on the AskMen website) still believe that white women (and those who resemble them) are the pinnacle of desirability and that Black women are less than or definitely nowhere near as desirable as white women or women of other races.

I mean, for goodness' sake, Carla Bruni was ranked to be hotter than Alicia Keys, Leona Lewis, and Cassie!! That should tell you that something is seriously wrong. I mean, I'm not really a fan of these women (except Alicia Keys) but the title of the list is the most DESIRABLE women and I don't need a penis and balls between my legs to know that Cassie, Alicia Keys, and Leona Lewis are ten times hotter than Carla Bruni can ever hope to be.

Are these people for real????

Meanwhile Beyonce (who I don't like that much either) came in at number 50. Guess who was ranked higher than Beyonce at number 47??

Carrie Underwood.

Blank. Stare.


So, let's not get all worked up about this. If it wasn't so sad, it would be hilarious. All I'm wondering is, when will it be the turn of Black women to be beautiful? (And no offense if you're light-skinned) When will it be the turn of dark-skinned, wide-nosed, thick-lipped, kinky-haired women to be beautiful?

When, if ever?

You know those People with Horrible Feet...

....whom we all shun?

I have become one of them

This is Cosmic Retribution for all the times I laughed in my mind at those with yucky feet because my own feet were so beautiful and well pedicured.

Chineke God, maka why???

I used to have such stunning feet!!

Upon flu again?

Why me???

Nail Fungus... I hate you.

P.S. If anyone out there loves me..... I need as many bottles of Industrial Strength FUNGISIL as you can find!!!!

Thank God I'm a Nigerian

I was reading about this particularly creepy and scary condition which seems to affect Africans heavily, except...... you guessed it......Nigerians.


Jesu mi seun seun!!!

Olorun mi seun seun!!!

Of All the Times to Get Sick

I have the flu.

Now I'm confined to my room.

Fuck!

Fuck!!

FUCK!!!

Update: I was passed out most of the day on meds (not counting the time I was on the phone with my Mom and my Aunt and my Grandma) but now that I've woken up and I feel less like a trainwreck I decided I'd take a picture of my sad flu-existence to show you my suffering. (yes, I actually do have to wear that mask to protect everyone from my super-germs)

Btw,

Mellowyel also has the flu so don't worry; my misery has company.

P.s. Who likes my two-strand twists? I worked on them for a full day and then I come down with the flu and have to lie in bed all day and now they're messed up :(

Apparently...

I am an unstable person.

Technically, I would not disagree with this argument.

Let me just say this:

All people are unstable

But some are more unstable than others

No Shit!!!

My teacher's book just got picked for Oprah's book club!!!

I'm so proud of you Father Uwem!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Off to call him!! :D

Thanks for the free copy by the way :D

I Called Bakura

I called him and I said 'It's me.. don't hang up, it's important'

He didn't hang up so I told him I was sorry for all the horrible things I said to him when he told me he was getting married. Just a month before he had told me he wanted to be with me, and the whole idea of him getting married came as a big shock to me. I was really really hurt and I unleashed all my anger and pain on him.

He said I had a right to feel that way, I said I it was okay. We both did things to hurt each other. There were many things wrong with our relationship that doomed it from the start.

I think I just had to let it go, to let him go. I tried to do that today and now I think it's going to be alright. I just talked and talked and poured out everything I'd been holding in my heart this whole month. When I finished he said "I really appreciate you saying this because I know it must have taken a lot for you to do this.."

And he's right. It did take a lot for me to call him. It took a lot for me not to cry. It took a lot for me to examine our relationship unbiasedly and admit to myself the things I did wrong and where I might have hurt him. It also took a lot for me to accept that he didn't choose me. He chose someone else, and if she's right for him then it's okay.

It was and still is very hard, but I had to be honest and honesty means letting him go freely and wishing him well, and I managed to do it today.

It hurt to hear his voice again. It's not yet quite a month since he broke my heart for the millionth time. I really hope he's happy, and I really hope I can be truly happy even without him and have internal peace.

There's only one thing I forgot to tell him: I forgive him.

If you ever find my blog and read this post, then know that yes, everything that happened happened, and I wish I could take a lot of it back, but it doesn't matter anymore. I did love you. I don't hate you Bakura, I forgive you.

My Japanese Friend...

is so freaking gorgeous...

I can't stop staring at her.

No... this is a different Japanese friend.

I am a Princess

Technically.

In actuality? I fucking wish.

Thanks Grandad.

For rejecting all the trappings of royalty in the name of Christianity, modernity and studying medicine.

Yes, I know.

Very few Nigerian royal families still wield any kind of power
or have that much influence over their people

But

Who doesn't want to be HRH?

Damn!

Enjoy the Hilarity

Powered by Podbean.com

Title: Poo
Artist: Brown Lady
Album: The Diarrhoea Diaries

I'm Afraid... of Many Things

I keep thinking about Bilal.

I know.

I hate this because I barely knew him so I'm wondering what right I have to write about him, but since he's in my head, I'll write anyway.

Bilal and I weren't even remotely friends, but I'm horrified he's dead. Last week was different, I just heard the news and the shock was fresh, but I've had some time to process it, and the more I think about him (which I can't help) the sadder I become.

I don't think that he was a very nice person, but I really, really, wish he hadn't died. He hadn't crossed my mind in ages and now I keep seeing his face in my head and it's just sad.

From thinking about Bilal I migrated to just thinking about plain old death. With a capital D. I'm scared of dying. I'm terrified. Like scared stiff.

The weird thing is that I'm not scared of actually dying itself, what terrifies me no end is the idea of simply ceasing to be. I can handle my body dying, but I keep wondering "What will happen to my consciousness? Will I still be able to think? Will I still be self aware?"

I can't imagine not thinking. I can imagine not breathing, not moving, not seeing or hearing even, but I cannot imagine not having a self-aware consciousness. It's like, I wouldn't mind death so much if I had 100% assurance that my mind would continue to exist. Sure, being dead isn't cool but if nothing else at least being able to think in the dark or whatever would be some comfort.

I thought about it this entire week and it drove me crazy. I told myself all the usual ones: Everybody dies, there's no way to avoid it, but it was that second one that really got me. I was literally screaming in my head to myself 'there really is no way to get out of dying, what the fuck, I didn't ask for this, why did I have to be born in the first place???'

So the short version of this is that I'm still scared out of my mind of dying, but then again, the birth thing makes me feel better. The way I see it, at some point, we weren't born and we didn't know that we existed or whatever, and we don't remember where we came from or where we were before we were born, so I'm guessing that at the very least, when we die, we go back to the before-we-were-born-place, and since being in that place in the first place can't have been so terrible (hey we were eventually born weren't we? And life is a bitch sometimes but it's not that bad) then going back there after dying can't be that bad either.

Either way, I'm still terrified about what happens to my mind. The body I don't really care about. Sure, it's important to make every effort to stay alive by all means possible and to live to 120 if possible, but I won't really go shit crazy over the loss of my body upon death. What I will go mental over (although I don't know how possible this might be under the circumstances) would be if my mind and ability to think ceased to exist.

Point is, like the rest of you, I don't know, and like some of you, I'm scared shitless. I now know that Bilal died of an accidental overdose, but it doesn't really help me deal with the fact that he's dead. I hope he's okay, wherever he is, and maybe this is born out of selfish fear, but life is hard enough as it is, it's unfair for death to be harder. I hope he's okay, and I hope we'll be okay too.

P.S. I am BOILING MAD that there are actually creatures that are immortal. As in are you freaking fucking with my head??? Why the hell is a damn JELLYFISH immortal and not a human being??????

On Days Like This.....

I am reminded why I hate the Chinese.

Enjoy:

http://www.chinasmack.com/stories/shanghai-black-girl-lou-jing-racist-chinese-netizens/

Am I surprised? Fuck no.


P.S. Dear China, please get the fuck out of my country.

Dear Nigerians in China, please bring your foolish asses home.

In Nigeria, ALL Things are Possible

Yes, even this.

What I'm Watching Tonight

When I grow up, I want to be this prostitute.

On Death

I just found out that someone I knew is dead. I was told that he committed suicide. Apparently he took a drug overdose and died in Malaysia.

I heard that he was depressed and ashamed because he somehow felt that he was a disgrace to his family. This is what I heard. I don't know how true it is. What I do know is true is that he is dead.

Either way, I was shocked but unable to feel anything else. Why? This person, while he was alive, was absolutely evil to me. All the contact I ever had with him involved him insulting me, terrorizing me, tormenting or threatening me in some way.

He died this summer, a little over two months ago.

I'm not happy that he's dead, but I feel nothing.

And because I feel nothing, I feel guilty.

Am I supposed to be sad at his death, because part of me feels that I should.

I didn't know him well. I couldn't tell you anything about him other than that he was evil and to describe his physical features.

I know that my picture of him isn't by any means complete. There are others who knew him, loved him, thought him the nicest person in the world probably, while I hated him with every fibre of my soul, so honestly, I couldn't tell you.

He was the same age as me. He would be twenty now. He was the one that threatened/tried to spread a rumour that I was pregnant while we were in secondary school, and he would call me all day long to harass me and send me threatening text messages when he was tired. Ironically, I just discovered, also to my shock that he fathered a son some time ago. If he were alive, I would call it poetic justice, but now it just seems sad.

As someone who obsesses about death a lot, I find myself both horrified and intrigued by the discovery of his death, and truthfully, somewhat in awe.

We will all die, and now, even though I barely knew him, he has at least, a bit of my sympathy, if not for anything else, then for the loneliness that he must have felt at the end. If I could, I would have liked to ask him what his final moments were like, if he was aware of the exact moment he died, what he saw afterward, and how he finds where he now is.

Bilal Roda was my enemy in life, but I at least share with him the fear of his death. And for that he has my pity.

I hope he finds peace.

Update: So it turns out that the person that informed me of his death got some facts wrong.

It was an overdose, but it wasn't suicide, so the title's been changed.
He died in Nigeria, not Malaysia.

Also, please read ALL THE COMMENTS before posting your own.

I just put my first look on Lookbook

Sure it's an old picture of me, but it's a picture I really, really, love. Plus, I don't see the point in being from Nigeria and then putting up pictures of myself in jeans and stuff like all the other 5 million billion Europeans on lookbook. I think it's more interesting when you're from a different country and your culture comes through in your fashion.

Anyway, here's my humble first look. Hopefully once I'm done losing weight and I become a skinny bitch again, there'll be more fierce fashion looks to follow.

Click the photo for a better look

:D

Other side:

i know, i pose like an idiot. Too much SexyFace. lol

My Favourite Igbo Insult is....

Alambalagada

It means You with Saggy Boobs

:P

Shun the Non-Believer....

I sincerely believe, that even if I live to be 120+ years old, the phrase "Shun the Non-Believer..." will still reduce me to a pile of helpless giggles.

Here's why: