Thursday, December 31, 2009

Goodbye Old Year

Today is the last day of 2009. What a year this has been. It hasn't been my best year, but it was okay. Thank you God for this year, and thank you for the next one. Please make the next one much better than this one. Amen.

I guess I should tell you my New Year Resolutions.... not that it makes much of a difference since I didn't keep my resolutions for 2009, but it's fun to make them and attempt to keep them. I actually have more than twenty of them so I selected a few to post here.

My New Year Resolutions


  • Draw every day
  • Write every day
  • Be punctual
  • Paint every week
  • Practise calligraphy every day
  • Learn 500 new Igbo words
  • Attend Mass every Sunday
  • Go to Confession every week
  • Fast during Lent
  • Talk to my family and friends more often
  • Be happier and freer
  • Do all my homework on the same day it's given
  • Stop procrastinating
  • Drink 8 cups of water every day


Those are mine... what are yours?

Monday, December 28, 2009

A New Week

Yay, the new week has started and I've already whiled Monday away. Oh well. Christmas week was quite interesting don't you think? Thank goodness it didn't end in tragedy.

So I did very little drawing over the weekend mostly because I have to work on my self-discipline. I spent the weekend watching another super interesting anime I've discovered while I wait for Inuyasha. (Which reminds me, THE NEW EPISODE OF INUYASHA COMES OUT TODAY!!!)

The new anime I'm watching is called Speed Grapher. I finished watching Saiunkoku Monogatari and I was wondering what I was going to do but I came across this new anime so I'm happy as a bug in a rug.

I did a sample colouring of Aku so here it is. The yellow thing on her neck is camwood. For those that don't know, camwood is an Igbo cosmetic used by Igbo women. And I know camwood is not yellow, it's really a dull orange-ish red colour but I didn't have a marker in the correct colour so I just made it yellow.
I also tried experimenting with the Ndebe script to see if I could make it decorative. My calligraphy sucks. I'm sorry.

Anyway, here it is: (Bonus points if you can tell me what the writing says) - you don't have to give me an English translation. Just tell me what it says in Igbo.


P.s. Please does anyone know anything about Igbo secret societies? All I know is that my grandfather is in the Ozo. I also know about the Ekpe, Okonko societies and the leopard cult.

Please, I'm begging you. If you know anything about any Igbo secret societies (including ones I've not mentioned here) or if you are a cult member or society member please tell me everything you know. I need the information for my story and it has to be as culturally and historically accurate as possible.

Thanks!

Saturday, December 26, 2009

REJOICE!!!

For the terror suspect is NOT Igbo
.....
or Yoruba for that matter...


Update:

Kai, It's like everyone has lost their sense of humour fa!
People on twitter are giving me a hard time because I tweeted this.
Oya, I'm sorry. Ndo so.
We are all Nigerians and we are all going to get shit the next time we set foot inside an airport, but let's laugh at the lighter side of this (since no one was hurt).

Be honest, when you heard a Nigerian man tried to commit a terrorist act in America, how many of you immediately thought 'Please don't let him be [insert your ethnic group]?

Don't lie. Tell the truth and shame the devil.

So don't be offended, it's all in good fun.
There are stereotypes about every ethnic group in Nigeria and as Nigerians we should be able to laugh at our own inside jokes.
Thank goodness noone was hurt.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas and Peace on Earth!!

Merry Christmas everyone!!!!

I'm spending Christmas Eve blasting Eminem and missing my Mom and Aunt.


Wednesday, December 23, 2009

More Sketches

I am being lazy here. Mostly because I can't sleep. Anyway, here is my second sketch of my main characters the twins (a.k.a. Aku).

I sketched only one person. Mainly because they're identical twins and because they spend most of the time pretending to be one person, but mostly because I'm lazy.

Note: I drew her naked so I can use her body as a template and draw all her different clothes on later.

And yes, I know one of her breasts is wonky. I should have been sleeping, instead I was drawing.

Here you go:

Initial sketch in pencil

After I went over it with ink

Yes I know. I need to change my nail polish.
Most of it has peeled off.
I don't really care.

Closer view of the ink



Cleaned up (Pencil lines erased)

The Igbo next to her says: Aku, Sienu, Siani
(i.e. the three characters that this drawing represents)



Yay!! Meet my main characters:
Identical twins, Sienu and Siani (known jointly as "Aku")




So, during finals I was so stressed out with studying that every once in a while I would sneak upstairs to the study rooms in the library and indulge in my new favourite relaxing activity (writing inappropriate sentences in Igbo on the Dry-Erase Board). Here are some of the highlights of finals week:

DISCLAIMER: The only "Emekas" I know live thousands of miles away. None of what you are about to see is true. This is simply the fruit of joblessness.


Roman: Ife nine n we, n ga ye gi obuna i ga fum na anya

Roman: Mu na Emeka ra, mana osoru uso.


Roman: Ndi Igbo na kpam amu

Isn't that the truth?

Yeah, so that's what I've been doing. The pictures are all a little dark because I took them with my phone. I'm too lazy to scan the drawings even though my scanner is right in front of me. I'm off to watch Saiunkoku Monogatari. Sakujun is the truth.


Monday, December 21, 2009

Meet My New Love



Sakujun Sa

Isn't he pretty? I'm so excited because I found an Inuyasha Replacement to get me through the remaining six days of the week until the new Inuyasha episode airs.

The name of the new anime I'm watching while I wait for Inuyasha is Saiunkoku Monogatari, and frankly, I believe I love it just as much as I love Inuyasha, specifically because of this character Sakujun Sa. Sakujun is a villain, he's creepy, he's slick, he's a genius, he's everything sexy about a bad guy, but he's also dead. :( I found out last night (whyyyyyyyyyy????) He's very similar to Jakotsu from Inuyasha (who incidentally, is also dead.  - It seems characters with this particular type of personality don't live long. hmmm)

Like so:


Jakotsu (another love of mine - although he's gay)

Evidently, I have a thing for Bishounen (beautiful, slightly feminine men)

He (Sakujun) poisoned himself in the hopes that a girl he had fallen in love with would give him the antidote (he didn't tell her he manipulated her to poison him though ) but she didn't love him so she refused to make him the tea that he had mixed the antidote into and he ended up dying.... but not before coughing up copious amounts of blood and then kissing her with his bloody mouth and tongue.

Yeah, I know. Japanese cartoons are making me messed up inside.

Dear God, please deliver me from the clutches of Japanese Anime. Amen.


Sunday, December 20, 2009

Seriously Yo

Any child of mine that I catch watching anything even remotely resembling Hip Hop will be flogged in my compound with koboko by a special mallam that I shall import from Sokoto.

Are you kidding me? This is what "Hip Hop", BET, and the Beyonjay set has done to humanity.

Mba and Tufi - Fuck and Worrahell.

What would possess someone to make this video and post it on the Internet? I can't even name one issue that this video addresses if I was going to say that this video is actually about something.

People have too much damn time on their hands. If you have so much time, come help me do my laundry. I pile it up and then it's such a bother carrying it downstairs to the laundry room on my head.

P.s. We could make a drinking game out of how many times she says "You know what I'm sayin?"

No, I really do NOT know what this lady is saying.






Note: I don't visit this World Star Hip Hop website but I've noticed that all the curious video on the internet seem to come from them. Maybe I should start going there. Are these people serious? This woman above, yeah sure, I know that EVERYBODY dances to their favourite music in their PJs but don't film it. That's why you do it in your room with all the windows closed and the curtains drawn so that noone else can see you. I know this because I sing into my deodorant bottle every couple of days, but I also doublecheck the corridors and make sure there's noone around to hear me singing or even worse, catch me.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Homosexuality is Un-African

Or so our fellow compatriots would like us to believe.

Yoruba:



Benin (the country):


Akan (Ghana):

Igbo( my, my, my - although this is rather vague):



Ha! Found it! The Igbo word for gay person - Eke.
Problem: What is the tone?
I know Eke in one tone is one of the days of the week.
And Eke in another tone means Python
But what tone is this one in?
Ponderings... Ponderings

Hausa( absolutely no surprises here):

I am so unsurprised by this particular one, I don't know what to do with myself. Especially since I spent a good hour arguing with another Igbo person (O_o) that the social structure in Africa is especially conducive to lesbian (or at the very least Bisexual) relationships.



Well, what do you think?

I think it's okay if we come out and say 'We're Christian (or we're Muslim) and based on our religion, we don't support homosexuality", but Nigerians are deluded if we think that homosexuality is "un-Nigerian" or an imported behaviour.

What we need to realise is, not so long ago, most Africans practiced religions and ways of life where homosexuality was NOT considered wrong, or at least was acceptable in certain social contexts (e.g. for casual pleasure).

Whether you accept it or support it or not is a personal decision and everyone is entitled to their views on homosexuality. What confuses me though is the Nigerian insistence that homosexuality never existed within our borders and that homosexuality is completely foreign to Nigerians, even though the whole of Nigeria has been casting the side-eye at Hausas for as long as I can remember.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

All's Well That Ends Well

Thank goodness the bank managed to sort everything out. Luckily I discovered the fraudulent charges on the same day they were made so they were able to put a stop to it and I've got all my money back. Yay!!! :D

I'm very happy about that. I cannot tell you. Imagine waking up and realising half your money is gone. Not fun. Not fun at all.

So, in other news, Miss Jessie's is having a sale!! Buy one get one free!! And I'm so excited, but I'm kinda broke and wary after my little bank problem. It's time to go make goo-goo eyes at my favourite auntie and see if she'll buy me ridiculously over-priced but highly addictive hair products.

Top on my list are:

Stretch Silkening Cream - This thing is great for stopping shrinkage


I already have a sample of this but I want the biggest one. It feels soooo good in my hair

The infamous Curly Pudding. It defines curls like nothing else




I've never tried Curly Meringue, but based on the rest of the line, I'd really like to try this.


Oh, totally off topic but very very interesting, here's a little project you should try.

Go to Google.

Type in the search box "Africans are" and then post the first 5 suggestions you get here.

Note: Don't hit enter, just type it in the search box, Google should give you suggestions based on what other people in the world search for the most in relation to your search term.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

WTF

I am heartbroken right now. Someone stole my credit card information and went on a shopping spree and drained my entire account plus overdrew it well into the hundreds. I just got off the phone with the bank and they've shut down the card and frozen my account, and they say we can start proceedings to rectify this tomorrow morning but I feel like the whole holiday has been ruined.

My mood is totally shot. What the hell? I'm still too stunned to cry.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Giveaway Update

So if you remember ~B~ won the Dinka Independence Giveaway back in October and she got the new Kai Haba Shit Damn t-shirt.

Well, in a very nice display of generosity, ~B~ gave the t-shirt to her friend Adeola and sent me this picture of her friend rocking it:

Yay!!

Monday, December 14, 2009

:(

Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! Inuyasha can't die!!! Inuyasha is THE ACTOR!!!!!!!!

So I finished my exams and stumbled upon this

By the middle of nineteenth century these English-educated Hindus set about reforming Hinduism from within. Their goal was to make Hinduism more respectable in the eyes of the Europeans by doing away with those features of Hinduism that Europeans considered superstitious and backward. The various schools of reformed Hinduism they established in every part of India took a very dim view of image-worship, caste hierarchies and the worship of devadasis. Thus, from the middle of the nineteenth-century and well into the twentieth, Westernized Indians themselves were very active in abolishing the tradition of the devadasis.


I swear, you could literally replace this phenomenon with the Igbo narrative.


Observe:


By the middle of nineteenth century these English-educated Igbos set about reforming Igbo Culture from within. Their goal was to make Igbo Culture more respectable in the eyes of the Europeans by doing away with those features of Igbo Culture that Europeans considered superstitious and backward. The various schools of reformed Igbo Culture they established in every part of Igbo land took a very dim view of [Igbo Cultural Element], [Igbo Cultural Feature] and [Igbo Cultural Practice]. Thus, from the middle of the nineteenth-century and well into the twentieth, Westernized Igbos themselves were very active in abolishing the tradition of [Insert Any Non-Western Approved Aspect of Igbo Culture].
The above is an excerpt from something I'm reading about India and the effects of European colonisation. Not surprisingly, this narrative is repeated over and over and over again whenever I read about any society that came into contact with Europeans. Basically, the standard shizzle was to get the "Natives" to go about destroying their own culture in order to suck up to the Europeans because they (Europeans) decided that European culture was the best and the most superior, and the Natives (Insert ANY group of non-Europeans here) were daft enough to listen to, tolerate, and encourage the European foolishness.

Same old story of colonialism. No matter where in the world you take it, the above paragraph still holds true. The only thing that is varies is the degree to which the "Natives" managed to erase their culture before they came back to their senses.

If you look at the East Asian countries, it only happened to a very small degree so culturally, they have been able to mostly recover from European brainwashing.

If you look at African countries, it's almost a fucking lost cause, and when you look at the FRANCOPHONE countries.... well you might as well not even bother looking because there sure as hell isn't anything to look for. The francophone African countries have traded and sold their culture and languages lock stock and barrel to the French. It's a done deal, there's no recovering. Ever.

The English speaking countries, particularly Nigeria the Beloved, still have some hope at least, but it dwindles daily thanks to the masses of mentally conditioned Nigerians that roam about in our country. Nigerians that are convinced that everything about their culture, even harmless artwork is fetish, devilish, diabolical, evil, etc etc. The same Nigerians that have been made so afraid of their culture by stupid European ideas about Christianity that they now see witches and wizards everywhere, even to the point where they harm innocent children in the wave of their overzealousness.

Frankly, I think that Nigerians go overboard to the point of mental delusion with the whole Christianity thing (particularly the Mount Zion, mountain of fire, Jewish-referencing, promise land spouting set) because they feel they empty culturally.

Now how can a group of people with such rich cultures feel empty culturally? And what has this got to do with religion? Let me explain.

Nigerians (at least most of us in the Southern half) embraced Christianity. Unfortunately, the people that they learned Christianity from were a group of small-minded pricks* who taught them that anything even remotely connected to their culture was evil and should be shunned. (Lol, shun the non-believer). These idiots even went so far as to force new converts to take Israeli-European names like Joshua, Joseph, Mary, etc. As if our own names were not good enough, leading to the current situation of Nigerians with stupid-as-fuck-English/European/Israeli names e.g. Polycarp. Really? You really want your child to be known as Polycarp? What the fuck happened to good old Ekpeyong???? (Don't even get me started about the olodo of a woman that punished her daughter with the name "Queen Elizabeth") And even when they no longer explicitly forced us to change our names, the drama mellowed into an ungodly proliferation of Chi- and Chukwu- names. [If I had one kobo for every Igbo person who has a Chi or a Chukwu in their name, Bill Gates wouldn't be able to tell me shit]

(Note, Europeans got to name their children a whole variety of European names that had nothing to do with Christianity and were even sometimes PAGAN names - Diana for example - but nobody ever told them that if the name wasn't Christian they couldn't have it, yet Nigerians were forced to give up our own names and answer theirs)

But I disgress.

Back to what I was saying. These "Christians" in Nigeria do have cultures, very rich, amazing, varied, super cool cultures, but they are AFRAID to embrace them because they feel that by doing so they are somehow aligning themselves with the devil. The problem is, humans NEED culture. We really do. We need to feel like we belong to a group and that group has certain norms, rituals, and habits that set it apart and we belong to it. This is the first problem these people face.

The second problem they face arises when they try to solve the first problem. Okay, they've rejected their original culture after pronouncing it evil (in other words, they have shunned the non-believer. - I'm sorry, I just had to), they might as well replace the old culture with the new culture right??

WRONG!!!!

Pretty quickly after reading the Bible, these new Nigerian Christians realized that their new religion had nothing to do with them whatsoever. First of all, there are no Black people in the Bible (except the Ethiopian dude, the Egyptians [a group upon whom Europeans have successfully cast racial aspersions], and POSSIBLY the Queen of Sheba]. Even then, the only other time that Black people MIGHT possibly be mentioned in the Bible, it is insinuated that they are cursed (Ham and all his peepshow drama).

 Second, Christianity is whiter than white bread. To this day, the Jesus that is brought out at the special Vatican ceremonies has blond hair and blue eyes, something the average Nigerian can never aspire to. Also, if you think about it in the context of 19th century Nigerians being introduced to Christianity, they were basically being asked to worship a white man. (Yeah, I know, Jesus isn't white, but the point is, 90% of the representation of Jesus out there IS white). All the gods they had worshipped until that point were Black people like themselves, and suddenly they  were being asked to venerate this White man and by association, elevate these White people above themselves.

Third, they were forced or encouraged to adopt European cultural practices along with their religion which only had significance and meaning for Europeans but not for Nigerians. In other words, the awkwardness of these new cultural practices only served to further point out the disparity between the new religion/culture and the worshippers. For example, Most Igbo Christians wear a WHITE DRESS to get married, yet in Igbo culture, White is the colour of MOURNING, SPIRITS, and THE DEAD (which is why all those Igbo masks usually have White faces because they represent spirits or the ancestors who are dead). Contradiction much?

Basically, Nigerian Christians who reject their culture and try to embrace European/Judeo-Christian culture quickly find that they do not belong and that they never belonged. As a result they try to draw parallels between their original culture and their new religions to comfort themselves in and convince themselves into thinking that somehow they have a connection with this other religion/culture when in reality the new religion is telling them that nothing about them is good enough unless they denounce their own culture and achievements as inferior and praise that of the colonizer as superior.

This is precisely the reason why some Igbo people have deluded themselves into thinking that Igbos are the lost tribe of the Jews and all what not. *rolls eyes*

Igbo Christians who would like to feel some connection to their culture but are too afraid that by doing so they might be committing "fetish" acts make themselves feel better by seeking out any similarities between Igbo culture and Jewish culture and then reading far too much meaning into it.

e.g.

Some Igbos think we are Jews because:

Traditionally, once every couple of years, the most beautiful girl and boy in the town/wherever is chosen and then tied up and dragged around the town and everyone lays hands on them to transfer their sins into them and then they are dragged through the dust to a cliff until they either die or are thrown over the edge as a sacrifice to take away the sins of the whole people. (Obviously we don't do this anymore)

In the Bible, there is a similar practice using a goat or a ram or some other creature.

The Kingdom of Nri from which the Igbo nation was founded is ruled by Kings who simultaenously serve as Priests. (Never mind the fact that these priests serve Ani, Anyanwu, and a host of other gods o!)
-The Jews had Priests and made a big deal about it.

Igbos perceive themselves to be persecuted by other ethnic groups for no reason.
-The Jews were persecuted.

Igbos are generally industrious and thrive wherever they are.
-The Jews can be similarly described.

Christian Igbos believe themselves to be the chosen people of God (what justification they have beyond a healthy dose of narcissism to make this claim I do not know, but hey, every civilization claims at least once that THEY are the chosen people of God(s) so hey.)
The Jews claim to be the chosen people of God.

The really amusing thing, is that I could draw parallels between Igbo culture and almost any other culture in the world if I tried hard enough.

e.g.

Before Christianity, Igbos bathed together at the streams or under waterfalls, men and women - mixed bathing
Mixed bathing at onsens (hot springs) used to be (and still is to a degree) a huge part of Japanese culture

Igbo people had round fans (among other designs)
Japanese people had round fans (among other designs)

Igbo people fought with bows and arrows, swords, and halberds (among other weapons)
Japanese people fought with bows and arrows, swords, and halberds (among other weapons)

Igbo people worshipped multiple gods
Japanese people worshipped multiple gods

Igbo people believed in Mermaids
Japanese people believed in Mermaids

Igbo people kneel and bow their heads when greeting with respect
Japanese people bow their heads and occasionally perform kneeling bows when greeting with respect

Igbo and Japanese have extremely similar word composition rules

Igbo and Chinese (which is the root of Japanese) are both tonal.

Does this mean Igbo people are really a lost group of Japanese people that wandered off?

You tell me.

It goes on and on.


The problem is, all these things are merely coincidences. They don't change the fact that The Igbos are not Jews, that the Bible is not about Igbos or even any Africans except for the aforementioned or any Asians except for the Three Wise Men from the East. It certainly isn't about Native Americans or about South Americans or Aborigines. It doesn't change the fact that for the most part, the people who ARE mentioned in the Bible do not feel any kinship with those of us who are struggling to feel among. Go and ask Ethiopians who were even actually legitimately mentioned in the Bible about the kind of discrimination they suffer in Israel.

This is not just a problem that Igbos have. It is a problem that everyone who was ever colonized by Europeans shares. And all people are doing is COMPENSATING. People compensate for the rejection they feel (I mean they feel rejected by the their religion in some way because it's obviously not about them) by claiming Jesus was Black, Buddha was Black, Krishna was Black, Onye nwanu na onye nwanne was Black.

No. Jesus was never Black and no amount of claiming is going to make him so. Buddha wasn't either and neither was Krishna or Mohammed or anyone else. If you need something to cling to, God put you on this earth in a beautiful culture. Celebrate that. Religion and culture are two separate entities but unfortunately, it's very difficult to transmit religion without transmitting culture, which is why Christians tend to behave like Europeans or Jews (to a lesser degree) and Muslims tend to behave like Arabs. All you're doing is stroking the egos of these cultures and telling them that they are indeed superior to you.

I understand if you're Christian and want to remain so. (Hey, I'm Christian and this is what I believe) but that should not cause you to denounce your culture as fetish or evil. Things like that get on my damn nerves because people just take religion and use it as license to go crazy. Also, if all those people in Nigeria were comfortable with both their cultures and their religions and found a way to acheive harmony and balance between the two, they wouldn't have the need to constantly roam about binding and casting everything in sight, and they would also open their minds to seeing the beauty all around them instead of longing for someone else's culture that can never be theirs. (No Igbo people, not even if you sneak into the Vatican with an eraser and a biro, you still will not be mentioned in the Bible. Get the fuck over it. You were born Igbo, it's as good as any other. Same goes for if you're Yoruba. You are not from Saudi Arabia and will NEVER be.)

Finally, one more thing that has pissed me off no end, is this idea that Odinani or Ifa are "juju" or "fetish" or "paganism".

No. All religion is an expression of man's desire to seek God in whatever aspect of God that may be. Just as Buddhism and Hinduism are legitimate religions, so too are Odinani and Ifa. And just as Ganesha, Krishna, Kali, Shiva and co are legitimate aspects of God, so too are Anyanwu, Ani, Sango, Olokun and co. And our religions should not be treated with any less respect simply because they recognize the aspects of God separately. There are lots of Nigerians that treat followers of traditional religions like lepers and it is fucking annoying. Your religion is not THE ONLY right way. How fucking conceited do you have to be to think that you have salvation on lock down?

Yeah, so I wrote this post to say that I finished my finals on Friday and now I'm free to sleep, draw, write, blog, and watch all the Inuyasha I want. Sorry, it got kinda long. My bad.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Pain Never Gets Old

I wasn't going to write a post today. Probably because I didn't want to interrupt the language discussion going on in the post below. Right now that particular post is distracting me from all the feelings I'd rather avoid today.

Yesterday morning I was going through my inbox and I found a really old email... from my friend Zikora. He sent it in August 2005, just before we were supposed to come back to Loyola to start SS3 first term. The term that at the end of which, he died. There wasn't anything particularly profound about the email (I'll post it here later on). It's just that that email is one of the few scraps I have holding his memory together. Death is such an unreal thing. I know we're all constantly aware of it, but it still feels unreal. It feels so weird. Like how can he be laughing, talking, and looking at me one minute and then be disconnected from his body and this world the next? I'm still confused.

Pretty much every person that went to Loyola that has a blog has a post up about this today. Bob-Ij has one up, and Pea tweeted and facebooked about it. Mi-chan has a poem up, and Bez did an interview about it. I swear I wasn't going to say anything because I found that one innocent email, promising to see me in school and reminding me that I had gist to spill for him, and I fucking cried.

You'd think it wouldn't still hurt by now. Four years later. How the hell did I leave him behind, frozen in time four years ago? He's still sixteen. Now he'll always be sixteen. And now, even if I live to be 120, in my mind he'll always be sixteen. The boy with the seemingly perfect exterior that didn't really give a shit inside unless it was important to him.. and a lot of things were - his parents, his Mom especially, his friends, his religion, his schoolwork, his reputation, his future. What happened?

I know I'm talking to a counselor about this, but sometimes I feel guilty that my imperfectly perfect friend died while I who can barely hold my shit together long enough to get my bearings am still bumbling about this life trying to figure out what the hell I'm supposed to be doing exactly. Not that I want to die, but more that I would want for him to live. But maybe that's why he died - because he had it all figured out. Maybe there was nothing more life could teach him or throw at him that he didn't already have on lock. Who knows? I sure as hell don't.

What I hate the most are the dreams I have where he's alive. I keep dreaming that I see him and we talk and I hug him and never let go, and it feels so real. I can hear his voice as clear as day and everything. You have no idea how painful it is to wake up and realise that it was a dream. It's beyond horrible.Damn you Loyola for not allowing cameras in school. Fucking damn you. If it wasn't for your stupid rules, I would have more than just one picture of him to remember him by.

I'm over trying to be over this. Who even wants to be over missing their friend? I miss him. I always will. I don't know what happens after you die, but I really, really, really hope that we all get to see the people we love again and be together. I'm not one of those people that's angling for "glory" in the kingdom of heaven. I don't care if I'm a servant polishing the pearly gates. Frankly the only thing that matters to me as far as death and the Afterlife are concerned are Peace, Happiness, and Togetherness with Loved ones. End of. I don't need to be the commander general in heaven's army. I don't need to be promoted to assistant to the second in command and hold dominion over millions of souls. I'll leave that sort of thing to the World Domination types like Stewie and the Brain in Pinky and the Brain.

I haven't been to his grave yet, but Pea attended his funeral. I will visit one day, and it will hurt like hell, but he is my friend and nothing will keep me from bringing him a gift of flowers. I will visit one day. I promise. But just promising is so, so hard. Because visiting means accepting that when I say his name I won't see his head turn, and that he'll never borrow another book from me again. It's indescribable how much it hurts, even now. I have no illusions anymore. I fully expect it to hurt just as  much next year. This is the point where I usually go off and do something self-destructive to drown the pain, but my shrink would be disappointed. And besides, today is not about me.

Today is for Zikora.

Zikora Okafor
Beloved Friend and Partner in Crime

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Beauty of Speech

This is going to be a controversial topic. There is a high possibility that people might want to yell and rip out their hair (well maybe nothing so dramatic) but at the very least, this is bound to get at least one person riled up.

Let me just say for the record before I begin, that where I am from has NOTHING, and I repeat NOTHING to do with my personal opinions on this matter. The fact that where I am from happens to support my personal views on this matter is mere COINCIDENCE. Nothing more.

I'll try to keep this as short as possible since I'm supposed to be studying for my International Business final which is at 8am later on today. I also don't have the desire nor the energy to argue this so I'm just talking about it.

In fact, the only reason I'm even talking about this is because when I was studying French and Spanish, and after reading most of Tolkien's work (particularly The Lord of the Rings Trilogy and The Silmarilion - which rocks by the way) I noticed this. Not only that, but it keeps coming up again and again in a lot of languages and the more I think about it, the more I realise that it is a very valid issue.

I'm talking about beauty of speech. Specifically, cultures engineering their language in a such a way that allows for maximum beauty of speech. What I mean by this is the tendency to use certain sounds more in a language or where there are multiple dialects in a language, the tendency to gravitate towards the dialect that contains the most auditory pleasing sounds in the most pleasant sounding combinations.

What am I getting at? I have always been perplexed about why Anambra Igbo is better sounding than all the other dialects. (Note: This is the beginning of the controversial part. Feel free to liberally increase your blood pressure).

At least, to my ear, it sounds better. And inquiries after this have encouraged the idea that it sounds better to a lot of other ears too. Now I know why. Or at least, I think I might have discovered why.

The purpose of this post is not to elevate Anambra Igbo above all the others. (It's already elevated so there is no need - Anambra was the capital of the Igbo empire from the dawn of the nation and is home to Nri, the founding city of the Igbo nation. As a result, Anambra Igbo played a more important role than other dialects and was held in higher esteem - which might be a clue to why there exists a strange tension between Anambra Igbos and Igbos from everywhere else, but that's another story - Ojukwu and his Biafran maneuverings are not included in this gist)

The point is, the more I think about it, the more it appears that Anambra Igbo was naturally engineered by Igbo high society to sound the way it does because of the importance of Anambra in the old world.

Basically, in most societies, there is often a difference between court speech and common speech, and nine times out of ten, if you're just a random person listening, whether you understand the language or not, court speech sounds prettier than common speech. It would seem Anambra Igbo sort of developed from court speech because of a number of things.

The sound selections, arrangements, and even words in Anambra Igbo tend to sound more pleasing to the ear than say any other dialect. (Again, if you happen not to speak Anambra Igbo I am not putting your dialect down, I am simply saying that Anambra Igbo has better sound fluidity and agreement, and is more melodious)

Now yeah, we have this dream where 99% of Igbos would speak Igbo everyday in business, casual, and formal settings, and where 90% of the media in and coming out of Igbo regions would be in Igbo, but the HUGE elephant in the room is: WHICH Igbo? Obviously, nobody wants to give up their personal dialect for the benefit of speaking one unified language and I don't even think I support that idea, but the question is, shouldn't we be actively improving not just the functionality but the beauty of our language?

Something that I found hilarious but at the same time very very interesting when learning French was that most if not all the irregularities in French grammar and vocabulary directly or indirectly arose from the desire to avoid jarring or ugly sounding words and to promote mellifluous French speech.

That brings me back to Igbo. Just as looking at a yellow dress with neon orange and pink polka dots and zig zags makes my eyes hurt, the word choice and sound composition of many Igbo dialects make my ears hurt. Sometimes I think the excessive desire to be egalitarian in Igbo society is what is holding us back. Sometimes, in certain areas, some things need to dominate. Anyone who actively promoted beautiful Igbo speech for example would very quickly be accused by other Igbos of trying to undermine other Igbo dialects, but the truth is, the benefits of honing speech and indeed any aspect of Igbo culture into a fine art that can be exported for the consumption of the world cannot be overstated. Do not misconstrue my mention of the world here and my references to similar conventions in French for a desire to whittle Igbo down to suit the sensibilities of the Western world. Language is an art like any other, and improving and perfecting our language is for the immediate benefit and enjoyment of Igbos first and foremost before any others.

The fact that I speak Anambra Igbo does not influence my opinion on this, and it will not prevent me from doing my best to understand, deliver, and incorporate other dialects in the Ndebe Project (which is why this post is on THIS blog and not on the Igbo Academy blog - it's has no bearing on the project although most of the project is in Anambra Igbo for other reasons).

So, my questions are:

Do you notice differences in the auditory aesthetics of other languages that you hear around you?

Do particular Igbo dialects (particularly Anambra Igbo) sound better to you? - Note, the emphasis is on FLUIDITY and PLEASANTNESS of sound, as well as word structure and choice and sound composition, not on familiarity. (e.g. Ngwa Igbo might sound more FAMILIAR to you because you're Ngwa, but it does not change the fact that L's for instance sound more fluid than GB's)

Do you think beauty of speech is as important as utility of speech? (i.e. is it important to you for your language to sound pleasing to other ears as well as to enable you to adequately communicate in the modern world)

Do you think it would be unfair if one dialect of Igbo became the dominant form of Igbo in media simply because of its more aesthetic properties?

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

I Learned a Valuable Lesson Today

Never jerk off before a final exam.*

I got to my history exam 30 minutes late.

Luckily, my professor wanted some students to act a play before the exam so I didn't miss any actual exam time.

*Orgasms make you sleepy. Sleepiness + Thirty minutes to exam time x An All-Nighter spent reading an impossibly boring subject = Passing out and waking up fifteen minutes after exam has already started.

Necessary Randomness

I finally found what I was looking for (at least partially).

Here is probably one of the last mud two-storey structures that wasn't knocked down in the name of Christianity and Westernization (Northern Nigeria excluded of course).

While this is not a house, it does give us some insight into structures at the time in villages. The following picture is of a war lookout tower that dates to before the 1700s and as of last received information is still standing in Nnewi in Anambara state. =D

Of course this is not to say that between me posting this and you reading it, our dear overzealous and heavily misguided Igbo compatriots may not have razed it to the ground and denounced it as a devilish, fetish structure. (Because everyone knows that over-Christianized Igbo people see powers and principalities everywhere they look).

Either way, I know we talked about the multi-storey buildings ages ago, and it is important to bear in mind that at any given time in any given society, there are always MULTIPLE BUILDING STYLES, so just because this picture proves my ladder theory does not mean that there were not other options (e.g. staircases) or styles (e.g. higher buildings, roof styles, etc).

Of course, if this is a war tower, then it is logical to assume that in its heyday this structure did not stand alone. It most likely was part of a fortified castle or something (and I use castle here to mean any kind of armed fortress with lookouts and gates and stuff e.g. A Japanese Shiro can also be called a Castle).

Anyway, here it is. Yay!!


This tower is twenty feet high (excluding the roof). The average height of a modern simple two storey building is about twenty feet high (again excluding the roof)

Although this is a very poor quality photograph, it is important for us to note that this tower appears to be constructed using very large mudbricks. The size of these bricks appear to be much much larger than what we would normally find in everyday construction today. I am going to assume that this unusual brick size is one type of Igbo architectural style.

Another important thing to notice is on the upper level of this tower, the builders employed a construction technique that we have seen in other large scale mud structures - scaffolding support using bamboo or wood poles.

Compare with Mali mud mosques. Like so:



Finally, if you notice the lookout cubby hole at the top (which would be perfect for spying on approaching enemies without exposing yourself), don't you think it's ideal for an archer to cut down an enemy without being exposed himself to a return volley of arrows?

Something else that is highly interesting about this tower is the marked lack of Uli decoration. I'm guessing that's because this tower was used for the very practical purpose of decimating the enemy. No time to let "frivolous" painters practice their artistry when there's blood to be shed.

Yay!! Ancient Warfare!!!

Ah, traditional architecture makes my toes wiggle in contentment.

Check out architecture from the Igbo-Cameroonian borderlands.



Use the humans in the photograph to gauge the height of the house
This thing was at least 4 storeys high.

P.S. Igbo people make me mad. This structure is more than 300 years old and one of the few clues to our past history. The Anambra government should be protecting it as a Heritage Site if not restoring it to its former glory. I don't see any kind of enforcements or fencing around the tower. Any idiot can just walk up and deface or damage it and it could be lost to our future children and generations to come. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

Igbo People Make Me Laugh

So it has come to my notice
that somewhere out there
there is a group of Igbo people (probably mostly male)
that staunchly claim
that prior to European invasion
Igbo people never masturbated
and that masturbation
is decidedly un-African.

...
.....
.......
.....
...

Say it with me:

Igbo people make me laugh.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Next Week

I have finals.

Specifically, I have SIX finals. As a Nigerian it is my duty to get all As, so I will not be posting anything further until after December 11.

History, Philosophy, Finance, Business, Statistics, Biology.

Who sent me?

Friday, December 4, 2009

Jimmanu

My happiness knows no bounds.

Last night, by sheer chance, I ate my most bestest favouritestestest food in the whole wide world.

Jimmanu.

If you think I'm crazy or you're just curious, Jimmanu is my special name for yam and palm oil.

Ji = Yam

Manu = Oil (specifically Palm Oil)

Therefore, Ji + Manu = Jimmanu.

Yes, with the first bite I was transported to heaven. It was perfect. Just a sprinkle of salt on the palm oil, the yam was boiled to perfection.

The only problem was that the yam was new yam and not old yam. Usually I require old yam, boiled perfectly, fuzzy on the outside and soft and crumbly on the inside yet firm and porous enough to absorb the palm oil.

Oh joy!!!!!

I promise, as soon as I can afford it, I will eat Jimmanu every day. In fact, once I have a family of my own it will be a REQUIREMENT for everyone in the house to eat Jimmanu at least once a day. Oh the happiness we shall have from the joys of Jimmanu!!! :D

And this is coming from a person whose attempt to fry eggs two nights ago ended in disaster.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Sketches

I know I know! I promised and this is so late, so please forgive me.

Here is my sketch for Bilili. It's a preliminary sketch and it's not even near complete, but I think this one shows a lot of detail for her hair. (and yes that is ALL her hair).



This is the initial sketch of Bilili. (Medium: Pencil)
I didn't want to show her breasts so I sketched down to the bottom of my sketchbook
Ears: Bilili has tunnel piercings. Igbo women do not normally have tunnel piercings (they have regular piercings) but Bilili is a larger than life character because of her job.
Everything about her has to draw attention and be exaggerated so where a regular woman would have a simple piercing, Bilili has tunnels.
Also, tunnel piercings ARE common among regular women among our direct neighbours on the Eastern side, the Bamum women in Cameroon, so it would classify as a foreign fashion borrowed from a neighbouring country.
The lizard like thing in her hair is supposed to be a Lizard Comb
You know those combs that we all have that come in loads of diff styles depending on whether it's from Naij or Senegal or Ghana.
Like so:


The horns of her hair are wrapped in wide strips of ankara/random fabric
There is a ring in either horn of her hair attached to a fabric cord attached to gold weights that go down her back to weigh her hair down just enough so that it stays in place even on windy days.
The things sticking out of her hair are hair pins.
The other things are Peacock feathers.
Yes Bilili likes drama.
The thing on her forehead is a traditional gold forehead ornament.
I just made her's smaller.
Like so:

Yay cultural and historical references!!
(Okay I know I stole this particular one from Baule women but they're CUTE!!)


This is a darkened version of my drawing.
I just wanted you to get a feel of what it would look like in an actual comic book (i.e. I'm trying to decide whether to make this a graphic novel because there's just so much more visual historic detail I can put into it as opposed to just writing)
The Ndebe script next to her reads "Bilili"


Medium: My friend's blue biro. (All my pens are BLACK)

This is a random drawing I did this evening on a friend's notebook.
It's supposed to be the kind of thing a teenaged girl might wear in the time period.
I drew her hair loose because I was too lazy to draw a proper Igbo hairstyle
I know her hands look hideous.
I'm very lazy with hands.
I must practice drawing hands.
I also didn't finish the design on her nabi out of laziness.
Nabi means wrapper.
Ignore the bra - I didn't want my friend to complain that I was drawing porn again.
Ignore the stick figures also - my friend drew them.




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