The Weight Business

So every time I express my dissatisfaction with my weight or say how I don't think being fat is a good thing, someone invariably calls me a bigot.

Which is fine. It is very possible that I might be (a little bit) bigoted against fat people. Considering that I am one myself, this might all very well be true. But hey, that depends on how you see it.

If you're fat (and by fat I mean if you are above the medically recommended weight for your height and it is not due to heavy bones or increased muscle mass) and you're perfectly healthy, then I say more power to you. I still think you should lose weight but I'm not really knocking you. Hey at least you're healthy. I definitely cannot make a blanket statement for every fat person on this planet, but I believe (and I believe that I am at least mostly correct in this belief) that most fat people are unhealthy to some degree and would be at least a tad healthier if they lost weight (doesn't apply if they lose the weight and become underweight which is a whole new ballgame).

The way I see it is this: Even if you are fat and healthy, your fat is still preventing you from carrying out the full range of human physical abilities that any able-bodied, normal healthy, human being should be able to do. (Assuming that you don't have some other health problem preventing you from doing so). This is not to say that there are not fat people who cannot run, but I believe I am correct in saying that the average slim (not thin) person can run faster, jump higher, walk longer, etc than the average fat person. And to me, that makes all the difference. It might not be a factor for you, and it might not be a deal breaker for you, but it is for me. It scares  me that in an emergency situation, the difference between being able to run away or being able to crawl out of a small escape opening (and trust me, escape openings in emergency situations are always mysteriously small) and death could be all these extra kilograms. It bothers me. 

Maybe I am just paranoid, (and I will not disagree with you if you imply that I might be a little) but I don't want to be the one that couldn't climb out of the wreckage of something even though I survived the impact because I was too fat to fit through the window. There's a story my Mom told me when I was little (okay, she did not explicitly tell me this story - she was telling someone else and I was supposed to be sleeping in her lap but eavesdropping on adults' conversations was my all time favourite hobby so I just listened anyway) about how when she younger (before she had me) she took a night bus somewhere in the East and the bus had a small accident. (I think one side fell into a ditch and couldn't get out), and to make matters worse, armed robbers were stationed in the bush and were coming to rob/attack the passengers (and this was in the days before luxurious buses travelled with armed escorts). Sha, sha, sha, the driver was helping the passengers escape through the window, but there was one woman who was very fat and she got stuck in the window and the armed robbers were coming and people were trying to pull her through but she was thoroughly stuck and the conductor even had to re-enter the bus and push her from behind and try to squeeze her bottom so that she would fit through. Apparently there was a very real possibility that if the robbers burst through the bushes they would have to leave her behind.

I don't remember how the story ended because at the time (at least to my child's mind) the story was hilarious and I couldn't stop laughing. (of course at that point my Mom discovered that I wasn't sleeping at all and sent me to my room so I never got the end of the gist) but the image of that fat woman stuck in that Ekene dili Chukwu window has stayed with me since then.

Now, couple that with the fact that two years ago I had an experience that reminded me of that story. I was in the airport waiting for a flight to New York when I saw a morbidly obese man approaching the boarding line. The first thing I thought was 'Omg, is this dude allowed to fly?' - insensitive yes, but I am being honest here. Most of you would probably have thought the same thing.

As if karma decided to get me for my insensitive thoughts about the man, when I had settled into my seat in the plane, I looked up and saw the man coming towards me, and lo and behold, he turned out to be my seat partner. Not only did he not fit into the seat, but he squashed me against the window and completely blocked my view of all other passengers in the aircraft. Now ever since the Sosoliso crash, I have been terrified of flying. I used to love flying but since the crash getting on a plane has been a major feat of bravery for me. Whenever there's turbulence I keep wondering if this is the moment the plane will crash and how long it will take and if the fear will kill me before the impact does. All through the flight (which had quite a bit of turbulence) one thought kept going through my mind.

Mid flight I realised something very important. It occurred to me that if (God forbid) the plane were to crash, and if somehow I miraculously survived the impact, there was a very real and very high possibility that I would still die there if I was trapped under that man or pinned to the wall by him because there was no way on Earth I would be able to move him from my body and escape if that was the case.

Now once again, I am being honest here, for what it's worth. That thought made me angry. I was very angry at this man whose weight was not only a liability to himself but to me for sitting next to me and potentially placing me in danger. That thought also made me very sad because it also occurred to me that in the same situation, assuming the man survived, he still most likely would not be able to run away.

He was a very nice man. We had a very pleasant conversation through the flight, but I couldn't get the image of him falling on me out of my mind.

Now fast forward a year and some and I'm a fat person. I'm certainly and by no means anywhere near as fat as he was, but I'm definitely overweight. I may not look it, but I weigh far more than I ever imagined I ever would.

Again, I cannot express the feelings of other fat people (including those that are perfectly happy with being fat and those that are miserable about it) but I can express MY feelings, and this is what I feel.

First of all, a little background info so you can see where I'm coming from. This is the first time in my entire life so far that I have been fat. Prior to this, I have never been fat or even overweight. Never. I have been thin a couple of times but those were rare and very short-lived.

Here is how I feel about my weight.

I hate being fat. Hate with a capital H. And I hate people that try to tell me that it is okay to be fat. It is NOT okay to be fat (at least for me).

Why?

Because I'm scared. For the past year I have had random sharp, stabbing pains in my chest on the left side (which is of course where my heart is). I've had an EKG but they said there's nothing wrong. Still every time it happens, a small part of my mind resigns me to the idea that I might be about to die. A big part of the whole reason I had to start seeing a shrink in the first place was because every time the pains came, I was convinced I might be having a heart attack and I was scared shitless out of my mind.

When I sit up on my bed against my pillow I can't fully inflate my lungs. My stomach doesn't bend over the way it did when I was slim and instead packs up against my rib cage squashing my lungs and making me feel like I can't breathe.

I have to take the elevator even if I'm going just one floor up because when I climb the stairs I hear a sickening cracking sound coming from my knees and the pain is almost unbearable.

Before last year I had never broken a bone in my life. Last year the doctor discovered a stress fracture in my foot.

I used to have flawless skin. Now I get breakouts.

I cannot run. I cannot even walk briskly. Anything faster than a slow amble will leave me clutching my chest and wheezing.

I got toenail fungus because the only shoes I can wear are sneakers and I wore them for a whole year.

When I eat too much I don't just feel full like I used to. I feel physically ill for days.

I have not jumped in at least one year.

I have not squatted (crouched down) in two.

Kneeling even for less than ten seconds feels like a trial by fire.

If anything was ever obvious, it is that my weight has robbed me of a number of normal human physical functions.

I hate being fat. That's how I feel. Of course, there is also the fact that I have suitcases and closets full of clothes and shoes that I cannot wear, but considering how cold it is here and how skimpy those clothes are, I really couldn't give a shit. What horrifies me though is how sick I feel almost all the time. 

I have never felt this way before in my life and I want it to stop. I just want to go back to the way I used to be and feel healthy again. Being fat is not a good thing. That's my opinion. You may have a different opinion and you might think it shouldn't matter but from what I've experienced of it, any children of mine that even threaten to become fat are going to jog round the garden 50 times a day and eat carrots indefinitely. My weight is definitely holding me back.

I feel tired all the time. Exhausted. I'm sleeping ten, twelve hours a day, and  I feel like I have no energy whatsoever even when I wake up in the morning. Plus I'm finding it harder to remember things and I've always had a very good memory. I don't know about you, but I find being fat disgusting. It's not healthy and anyone that tries to argue otherwise is being wicked. Being thin is also definitely not healthy and equally disgusting (unless you are a naturally skinny person) but as far as I am concerned, being slim is a well deserved ideal. I would not wish fatness on anyone. It feels horrible. And I'm not even talking about the psychological feelings that might come from society's current obsession with thinness, I'm talking about simple physical feelings. I feel sick. Ever since I've been this weight I have felt sick on a semi-constant basis. The time when I was a normal weight and felt healthy and able feels like it was another lifetime. 

Seriously yo. I'm not saying this to be mean. I'm really not. If you're fat and you like being fat then that's you're business. As for me, I'm not cut out for this. I can't continue like this and I will not stop until I return to the size (and hopefully the health) I once had. I feel like a prisoner in my own body and it is not cool.

And this is just my take on it.

The Continent in International Business II

I'm typing this now while it's still fresh in my mind and while I'm still seething, so forgive me. I just got out of my Comparative Management class. As in, just now. As in class ended fifteen minutes ago.

This is without a doubt the single most frustrating, infuriating, irritating, annoying, despairing, unbelievable, and completely incredulous experience of my entire academic life.

I took everyone's advice from the last post and decided to take it up with the professor. I did that today after a fashion. We were discussing trade blocs (e.g. NAFTA), and I raised my hand and asked the professor why there were no African trade blocs on the screen such as ECOWAS (now I know ECOWAS isn't purely a trade bloc, but it partly involves the ostensible free movement of goods, money, and individuals among its member states). The professor said that was a good question and then asked the class whether anyone had considered investing in Africa and why they would or would not invest in Africa.

And that was when all hell broke loose... in my head at least.

Please be aware that this is a 300 level class. In other words, this class is populated almost entirely by Juniors and Seniors (i.e. Third and Final year students). Based on this, the answers they started giving threatened to give me a mental break down.

I quote.

Let me repeat that.

I QUOTE:

"But isn't Africa's only industry agriculture?"

"But the United States produces all the things that Africa produces so what would we want to buy from them?" [Yeah, and that's the reason why people are dying every day in Congo so you can have your mobile phones and diamond engagement rings right?]

"But there are no banks in Africa." [I kid you not. AND, this is the SECOND time I am hearing this particular one, in TWO completely different classes.]

"Isn't there lots of crime going on there?" [Wow because the United States is sooooooo safe]


"But there are Somalian pirates all over the place." [Yes, because Somalia stretches across the entire continent]

"But aren't most Africans like illiterate? Like how will they be able to do business?" [Yes, but never mind the 'African' girl sitting IN FRONT OF YOU that answers all the professor's questions correctly while most of you are still negotiating your nerve synapses]

"Who cares? It's Africa"

          "Last I heard, Africa's government had collapsed." [Yeah, because there is one government in Africa]

"But there's genocide there." [Yeah, genocide is just floating about in the air bumping off unsuspecting foreign investors in any corner of the continent]

"But Africa is an agrarian country" [he said it twice. Even after I said 'but it's a continent']

"Mugabe won't let us" [as if Mugabe is the president of Africa]

"Africa is really dangerous. There are diseases there." [as if there are no diseases in any other part of the world]

"What's the point? There's no technology there."[which of course is the reason I flew to school on the back of an ostrich. Or was it a flying giraffe?]

"But how will we understand the African dialect?" [But of course, Africa is a country and all Africans speak ONE AFRICAN DIALECT. Note, not language, but DIALECT. ]

These are all direct quotes from my classmates. They are still ringing in my ears. It's that fresh. I couldn't even find the energy to argue. It's like one moment I was so angry, and the next I was in disbelief and shock and the next I suddenly felt so sad that I just put my head on the desk and covered my ears. It felt like if I heard anymore, I would cry.

I am completely appalled at the arrogance of these people. Yes, it is arrogance, egotism, and unparalleled self-centredness. How dare they sit there and feel comfortable not knowing even the first thing about Africa not to speak of Nigeria, yet they expect me to know everything about them and their countries and their economies?

I feel so disgusted right now. You have no idea. In my International Marketing class yesterday the professor asked the class to list all the African countries on a piece of paper. He didn't give us enough time because we were trying to rush but that's beside the point. The point is, when he said 'stop' I was on number 36. The next person after me had five countries. Five. FIVE!!!! That's all you fucking know?? FIVE???

I listed 36 African countries and given enough time I would have finished writing the whole list. I can list at least 80% of the countries in ANY continent on this planet, and they all sit there feeling okay and satisfied, and FUCKING PROUD about being able to list a measly five African countries. Who the fuck do these people think they are? And why the fuck do I have to be the one to do double work to know all about them and myself while they don't even do me the common courtesy of REMEMBERING that Africa is not even a country.

Things got even worse when he asked us to guess the populations of a number of countries he listed. Because I'm from Nigeria, the professor listed Nigeria as one of the countries along with Belgium (the country of those other boys I mentioned in the last post).

Majority of the class guessed the population of Nigeria to be under 10 million. Someone actually said the population of Nigeria is 2 million.

It's not funny anymore. It is NOT FUNNY ANYMORE!!!!

I'm serious. I leave every class feeling defeated. Not just because of the level of ignorance and stupidity surrounding me, but because anyone that tries to correct their impressions of Africa is met with anger, indifference, and outright disregard. The professor had to literally beg them to listen to his explanation about economies in Africa. The looks on everyone's faces suggested that most of them would rather be doing something, anything else, and that they thought the man was wasting their time. And this is not a class that anyone hates. Everyone in that class LOVES this class and this professor. We have so much fun in class, it's unbelievable that it's a high level class. Yet once the topic moves to Africa people pull out their phones and start texting, drawing in their notebooks, gisting with their friends, etc. Most people don't even take notes because they feel they won't need it.

And on top of everything, they now regard me as a bad person for daring to take the focus of the class away from their beloved Europe and shine the spotlight on Africa. I don't really care what they think but being the class enemy is tiresome and something I'd rather avoid, only I can't. I cannot in good conscience go through my business classes learning nothing about the continent. It would be cheating myself. But I don't know how to deal with this, I really don't. Every class that otherwise would be amazing is leaving me feeling like shit. It's like I just realised for real this time that in the eyes of most non-Africans, we don't mean shit. In their eyes, we're not even worth the gum stuck under their shoe.

It just hit me so hard. We Africans have to work SO HARD for these idiotic people to accept us. We have to learn about them, we have to speak their language, we have to adopt elements of their culture, we play their instruments, we play their sports, hell, we even straighten our hair and bleach our skin and give our children stupid sounding names in their languages just to accommodate them, only to have them throw it in our faces like it's nothing. Where is the reciprocity? All this talk about globalization is crap. It's not globalization, it's Westernization parading as globalization. Globalization implies equal exchange of ideas, trade, information, culture, etc across all borders not the general conglomeration of everyone culture wise and everything else wise towards the West. What makes me so angry is not even the fact that I know all this stuff about Europe and America but that none of them think we're worth learning about. They can't be bothered. To them we're insignificant, yet every day we figuratively throw ourselves at their feet. The question we should be asking ourselves is: What are THEY doing to accommodate us?

Answer: Nothing. BIG FAT NOTHING.

Yet we changed our entire lifestyles because of them. We change everything for them. We do everything THEIR way.

They think it's actually okay to not know anything about Africa and live their lives. These same people would be shocked if I said I didn't know something about Europe or America. Yet not knowing how many countries there are in Africa is not a big deal.

You know what? Between my business classes, the guy on DeviantArt that said that most African women have shoulders that are much wider than their hips (he then went on to say that Caucasian women have fully developed breasts and hips), and the Japanese idiot that proclaimed that for a business to be successful it must have access to three markets or it will fail - Japan, North America (excluding Mexico) and Europe, I fucking give up.

Oh yeah, Japanse Dude-dono, why don't you shut the fuck up and tell your crackpot theory to Adenuga? Last time I checked Globacom had access to only one market: THE NIGERIAN ONE and they seem to be doing just fucking fine.*
It's disgusting. That's all it is. I feel sick.

How about this? I give the fuck up.

*Yes, I know Globacom has expansion plans and may have already even expanded into other continental countries, but even when it was restricted simply to Nigeria, it was doing stupendously well.

Scripting Ndebe

First of all, forgive my terrible hand writing. I've recently discovered that just because one has beautiful handwriting on paper does not necessarily mean that one will have beautiful handwriting when using a marker on a dry-erase board.

Seriously yo, my handwriting  is so shameful in this video (in both languages) that if I wasn't too tired to make another video, I simply wouldn't post it. (But that won't do, we need people to start testing this thing).

So here's the first video for everyone that said they were interested in scripting for the Ndebe project. This video details the first scripting task. It's really, really, insanely EASY so if you want to try it out please do. I only ask that you scan or photograph and upload your writing samples and send me a link or post them on the Facebook page when you're done.

=)

Also, to counteract the shame of my disgusting handwriting in the following video, I shall be posting some of my (very amateur) calligraphy later on :D

N.B.
I messed up the first pronunciation of 'ano' - one of the roots. It was meant to be two high tones but I pronounced it with a low tone and a high tone. I did get it right in the other pronunciations though :D

The Continent in International Business

So I just got out of International Marketing, and we're supposed to form groups and develop a marketing strategy between the United States and a chosen country. I joined a group with two Belgians and one American, and they immediately suggested France (I wanted to do Nigeria). They then found out that France was already taken, and then suggested Germany. In the end I insisted on Nigeria and just wrote it down on the paper and gave it to the professor before anyone could protest.

I know I strong-armed them and I feel slightly guilty for it but the whole thing makes me mad as fuck and here's why. When they found out France and Belgium were taken they suggested Germany, a neighbouring country in Europe. When I suggested Nigeria everyone looked at me like I had grown a second head and with slight disgust as if I was crazy to suggest an African country. I just want at least one of the reports to be on Nigeria for once. Why can't a project be about Nigeria? Why does it always have to be about bloody Europe? Why? Why??

It kills me... it infuriates me that nobody ever wants to talk about or discuss or learn about African countries. It just totally kills me. I am an INTERNATIONAL Business major, yet in all of my business classes we NEVER discuss any African countries in any capacity and even when they are mentioned, it's only for the briefest of moments and individual nations are referred to as 'Africa'.

I hate that word. I honestly do. I never thought much about it growing up, but ever since I came to America, "Africa" has sounded like a dirty word to me. To me, using the word "Africa" when you mean Nigeria, or Ghana, or Tanzania is the equivalent of going to Mass during the homily, grabbing the mic from the priest and screaming "pussy" to the congregation. That's how much it upsets me. And what makes me even more upset, sad, and frustrated is that in three years I don't think I have learned anything that might help me do business more effectively in Nigeria or on the continent. Oh, I 've learned how to do business with Europe, and America, and Asia, but every time I bring up something in class to do with Nigeria's economy, or I try to relate the class material to the current economic and financial situation in Nigeria, I hear people grumbling and muttering and sighing as if I'm derailing the class from learning relevant information by introducing an off-topic discussion. People in my business classes just act as if African countries aren't worth learning about as though we aren't part of the international market. It galls me. I'm telling you, it fucking galls me.

The general attitude is 'oh we'll never have to do business with Africa..." or "who does business with Africa?" or like someone in my Macroeconomics class said, (and I kid you not) "There are no banks or stock markets in Africa"

Don't get me wrong, I love my classes. I love my business classes so much. The stuff we're learning is exciting, relevant, and real, but it is INCOMPLETE. The textbooks have breakdowns of every continent EXCEPT ours. Sometimes after class I feel like crying because I'm so frustrated, not just by the lack of information about Nigeria and other important African economies but by the attitude of my classmates who behave as if African countries and their economies are so far beneath their notice that learning anything about them, even their names would be a waste of their school fees.

I feel like by the time I graduate I'll be able to stroll into Paris or Tokyo and do business, but if I want to do business in Lagos or Harare then I'm going to have to completely go it on my own on a wing and a prayer and without even one fucking textbook to back me the fuck up.

I'm sorry I'm swearing so much in this post but it's either swear or cry. My group members seem very annoyed that they will have to do this marketing report on Nigeria, and they're pretty much treating it as a joke. They've already broken into two camps based on their assumptions. One side is assuming that there will be little to no work to do and everything will be easy because there can't possibly be any kind of significant economic activity going on in Nigeria. The other side is upset because they are assuming that they will have to work extra hard because it will be almost impossible to find any kind of useful information about the economy or culture of an African country.

I swear the way people say the word 'Africa' in my business classes, it sounds like a swear word. They say it with this little laugh as if ' oh, it's just Africa, what could there possibly be to learn about Africa?' You have no idea how mad it makes me. No freaking idea. I once voiced this complaint to an American classmate and she said to me "Well this is America. I didn't come here to learn about Africa. I came here to learn International Business. If you wanted to learn about Africa why didn't you stay in Africa?"

Is it just me or does she not know that International in respect to America means every other country in the world besides America... including the African ones?

Update: Just got out of my Comparative Management class and we were talking about globalization and discussing the winners and losers of globalization. So the professor asked us to come up with reasons why some countries or companies have been globalization winners and why others have been losers. So among other things I mentioned that countries that have lost in globalization tend to have many desirable resources but weak governments that do not enforce laws that protect citizens and ensure that most of the benefits and revenues generated from those resources are retained within domestic borders for to the advantage of the citizens. I then said that in the first century of globalization (i.e. early 1800s to the 1900s), faltering political institutions in certain countries allowed many western nations to come in and literally steal resources or manipulate and abuse trade agreements to gross degrees.

And then this boy in front of me turned around and said 'Well if you don't like America so much, why are you studying here?" I get statements like this all the time. And I'm like 'what, you can't take hearing criticism about your country but you think it's okay to criticize mine?" I wasn't even talking specifically about his country but it's so annoying that people here get so defensive the moment you even slightly disapprove of their trade practices (even if they were a hundred years ago), yet they have no problem talking about corruption and going on about African countries as if they've lived there all their lives and totally know the deal with what's going on. I don't even get what he was angry about. Hell after all the talk about globalization, Africa wasn't mentioned once. Not even once. I felt insulted by that, should I be angry too? It's like these American and European students can't handle a world in which they and their countries are not the centres of attention twenty-four-seven. If it all wasn't so sad, it would be amusing.

It's not like I raise hell or even say anything bad in any of my classes. My business classes are full of a lot of discussion, and the problem is that the American/European students are always so shocked and irritated when I disagree with their general consensus. It's like they can't handle hearing a different viewpoint. They don't seem to understand that things, business practices, attitudes and opinions to their trade practices or their economic policies are different in other parts of the world, and that does not make me evil for saying that Americans are partly in their recession because they are such slaves to purchasing on credit. It's true. If you don't like hearing it from a Nigerian because you think that I'm "African" and therefore should have no right to point out your faults then I'm sorry but fuck that and fuck you for sitting on a high horse in the first place. I'm Nigerian, I'm not starving to death. I never had to trek anywhere to find clean water, and surprise, surprise, I actually like my country and enjoy living there. Yes, it's different from your country, and I admit that there are a lot of things I'd love to see improved, but I am SO TIRED of people in my classes expecting me to be gushing with gratefulness and wonder at being on American soil because they assume that because I am "African" then I must have suffered terribly and come from a horrendous life in my country. I'm sick of it. This is the age of the fucking Internet. There is no excuse to walk about thinking all Africans are the same and hopeless and dying. No excuse. I don't want to have to be the person that keeps correcting everyone or that has to 'educate' people. I don't expect other people to have to constantly educate me about their culture. I do my due diligence and do my research if I'm going to be in another country or culture for any significant amount of time. It's only mutual respect and obviously Africans aren't respected anywhere.

I probably should go book an appointment with my shrink because if this is how I'm going to feel after every business class then I'm going to need psychiatric support. I was so excited to be doing all business classes this term. So excited. But right now it feels like in the eyes of the world we are insignificant and not worth learning about and it hurts.

formspring.me

What has prompted your interest in developing a new script for Igbo? Also, are you an 'aje butter'?

I'm developing the script because Igbo needs to be 'useful' for people to be interested in it. If there isn't really anywhere you can apply Igbo exclusively then you don't really need it. You might as well speak English. I think it's sad that so many Igbo people are so completely uninterested in their language, and that is partly because they have no avenues to use it. Igbo is currently hampered seriously by the fact that it shares a writing system with English. By differentiating it completely from English I'm trying to give it a fighting chance. If the script is completely different, it will appeal not only to speakers as a way to bind their words on paper, but to artists, calligraphers, graphic designers, etc as a new means of expressing their design. And the more uses that can be found for written Igbo, the more importance it will hold among a greater number of people. That aside, it's a double shame that we developed a writing system but completely abandoned it and let it fall into decay.

I USED to be an aje. 'USED to' being operative. When I was little I was such an aje butter. I spent all day reading Mallory Towers and Back to Saint Clare's, turning my nose up at other children, and refusing to eat garri that wasn't specially fried twice just for me. Now I'm a somewhat reformed semi-aje. Secondary school changed me forever. I spent a whole year being beaten senseless for mouthing off to my seniors and refusing to fetch water or give up my Rice Krispies. By the end of the year, I was as hardened as the best of them...almost. I could do any punishment without flinching.. for as long as you'd like. I had cut grass, packed shit, run from Bush Baby, Madam Cos-Cos, and Gwei-gwei in the middle of the night. I had been through two school riots, the second of which left the girls dorm half demolished. I had seen my first naked man.
Hell, by the end of JS1, you couldn't tell me shit.

what advice would you give to any one in life. What philosophy do you live your life by, and if you dont live your life by anything, what do you always tell youself in your heart

No matter what happens, no matter how bad it gets, you have to be able to tell yourself 'nottin spoil'

you sometimes talk about your mum but never your dad, why?is it a privacy thing?

Actually, it's simpler than that. I haven't seen the man since I was three.

what do you want in your next boyfriend?

Well I'm pretty new to the whole boyfriend thing. [I've only ever had one official boyfriend in my entire life so far] so I haven't really figured dating out yet.
I guess I could ask for a whole list of things, but I think I really want someone who gets me - who understands me and why I am the way I am, why I do the things I do, and what my MO is. And of course, after understanding me, I hope he likes me enough to embrace my craziness and stay. But I want someone who's passionate about whatever they love (hopefully I'm included in that list) and hopefully taller than me (I'm tired of dating guys that I can't wear heels around).

Yeah so I don't really know what I want and in some ways when I find it I think I'll know. I know what I don't want though - No creeps. I've dealt with enough of those.
I suppose wishing for some other *ahem* 'gifts' wouldn't be too much to ask now would it?

do you love being a nigerian? cos i do.

Cool! I adore being Nigerian. I just wish there wasn't so much drama going on in Nigeria the Beloved right now. :(

How did you come up with the name sugabelly?

I made it up when I was ten years old. Basically my two best friends (at the time) and I were planning how we were going to be in a girl group when we grew up and become superstars, and we had to come up with names. And my friends chose Vanilla and Honey for themselves and I picked Sugar (cheesy yes, but we were ten! What did we know?). But then I decided that Sugar was really strange sounding (because seriously, how many people do you know called Sugar -with an 'R' ?), so I changed it to Sugabelly, and the name stuck. And then my friends started calling me Sugabelly, and then everyone did, so I kept it. And I've been Sugabelly ever since. Yes! I've been Sugabelly for TEN YEARS!!!!!!!!

What is your greatest fear?

I used to be really afraid of dying, but now I'm just more afraid of not realising my dreams.

Isn't it strange...

.... that although most Japanese women have a bush down there (if my impeccable sources are to be believed), 99% of all Japanese animated porn has a Brazilian?

Ponderings... ponderings..

formspring.me

when did you lose your virginity?

At some point in time.

What do you think about 1st generation american children born of nigerian immigrants?

Some are great, some are not so great for different reasons. I just feel like I can't really relate to the ones that know nothing about Nigeria and like don't give a shit.

What University do you attend?What's your major?What is your dream job?

I'm an International Business Major. My dream job would be CEO of my own media company, producing Nigerian cartoons.

Under what circumstances would you hook up with a girl? ;)

Probably if I fell in love with her and she loved me too.

what is the limit of anything?

The limit is anything I don't feel comfortable answering. Meaning I won't give out personal information or anything else I don't want to.

Ask me anything

DeviantArt

I really want to put my work up on Deviant Art, but I'm scared.

The artists on DeviantArt are so good, it's crazy and I feel completely intimidated and in awe at the same time. I have a DA account and I use it to fave and rate artwork that I really like (which is a lot) but my work is nowhere near the quality of work of the artists I admire on DA and I'm afraid that if I put my stuff up they'll laugh at me.

:(

I hope to be as good as them one day, but right now it feels like I'm reaching for the stars and my artistic goals are so far away it's almost hopeless. I mean, this is better than it was before, at least I'm drawing almost every day now which is a massive change from last year. I hadn't drawn anything worth mentioning for close to six years and my skills are beyond rusty. Also, I'm nowhere near good enough to even begin my graphic novel so my general feeling whenever I visit DA is one of awestruck humbled hopelessness. It feels like I'll never be good enough, like I'll never be as good as them.

I think I'm getting better. Since I don't take art classes I try to do all the tutorials on DA and I observe and make notations from the work of artists I like but still compared to them I feel like a tiny insignificant insect. :(

This is all I've done so far (finished and semi-finished work only - no unfinished work below) since I started drawing again. There's no way I could possibly work up the courage to put it on DeviantArt so I'll just post it here... where it's safe...

East meets west

Part of the drawing series from the last post.

Semi-finished

Girl with water pot

Finished

Profile practice

Finished

An Igbo Cross-Dresser/Transvestite

Semi-finished

(haven't done design of nabi and haven't coloured)

Igbo buns seller

Semi-finished

(haven't done designs on nabi, haven't coloured)

Junior Courtesan / Courtesan-in-training from my story

Finished

Bilili

The head courtesan from my story

Finished

Three heads

Semi-finished (still need to do outer lines)

Ndidi (a character from my story)

The twins' stepmother (i.e. their father's second wife)

Semi-Finished (Haven't decided whether to add clothing)

Not to even mention the fact that in order to do a graphic novel I have to be as good as a professional mangaka. How am I ever going to get on Kayono's level? Or Moyocco Anno?? Or even Rumiko Takahashi?

:(

*Goes to sit in corner and cry*

formspring.me

r u single?

Yes. :D

Ask me anything

Seriously?

This is the most heartbreaking thing I have seen in a while.

As a Nigerian I am no stranger to corporal punishment, but there is a very clear line after which corporal punishment turns into abuse.

This makes me so angry. Especially the reason the father gave for doing this. So what? Your child doesn't know how old he is. If he doesn't know, tell him. He's only five years old for goodness' sake.

I am convinced this man has a mental problem.

Poor kid. They should be taken away from him and placed with a family that love them for the gifts that they are.

Stupid people make me ill.

Update: So I was reading the comments on the post, and of course everyone was infuriated at the evil man and his disgusting behaviour, and everything was going so well... until I saw this comment.

Chinese racism never ends does it?

More Drawing

I was talking to Mellowyel yesterday about the possibility of developing a signature drawing style. I've been feeling very creative recently so drawing is going well.

I haven't yet decided what to call this series but here are a few things you should know about what I'm drawing these days.

My drawings combine natural hair, traditional hairstyles, traditional makeup, traditional scarifications and tattoos (a.k.a. "tribal marks") and traditional clothing and accessories with modern attitude.

These are the first few I've done since I'm still perfecting the style.

I did these ones yesterday:

I did this one today:

The scanner wasn't long enough to get all of this one though.

And I smudged my signature (the red ink) :(

I need to practice drawing nipples.

Note: These are just the base drawings I've been doing since yesterday and the day before.
None of them have been coloured and only a few have been shaded.
If they look weird, it's most likely because I haven't shaded.
All girls are Nigerian.

You know how...

....every artist has their own particular style?

Well I think I've found mine

The Astounding Stupidity of the Nigerian Government

I have two words:

But why?

Inuyasha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (NSFW)

Yay, the New Year is well on its way and school still hasn't started (which means I'm still sleeping by 5am and waking up by 4pm) and best of all, THE NEW EPISODE OF INUYASHA COMES OUT TODAY!!!

Finally!! You have no idea how happy that makes me. While waiting for Inuyasha to drop, I have watched and completed the following animes:

Hagane no Renkinjitsushi (Full Metal Alchemist) (currently on episode 138)

Saiunkoku Monogatari (78 episodes)

Speed Grapher (24 episodes)

Rin: Daughters of Mnemosyne (6 episodes)

Mushi-shi (so far 4 episodes - but I gave this one up because it's in English. I HATE animes in English. Japanese anime is the shit. Word.)

Claymore (currently on episode 19 - I'm surprised but I really like this one. I usually hate steampunk [except for my beloved Hagaren] and while this isn't exactly steampunk, it's set in Scotland with Scottish and English people that mysteriously have blonde hair and silver eyes - oh well, it still rocks)

Yeah, but all this pales in comparison to the fact that the newest episode of Inuyasha comes out on Hulu later today. Even better, I've filled up all the time I didn't use to watch anime by reading Inuyasha fan fiction and looking at Inuyasha fan-art.

And I decided to share some of my favourite Inuyasha fan art with everyone.

A word of warning before we proceed. There are two things you should know.

1. I have recently discovered that I really, really, really, like yaoi. Especially Inuyasha + Sesshomaru yaoi. Since Inuyasha and Sesshomaru are brothers, this classifies as incest. I have no idea why I am turned on by this, but I am. [Have no fear, I am an only child].

2. If you'd like to know who corrupted me, look no further than Eccentric Yoruba.

Alrighty then, here's some of my favourite Inuyasha fan art, courtesy of the bad ass peeps at DeviantArt. None of this is my own artwork, but I sure as hell will use this for jerking off drawing practice.

Inuyasha (left) and The Killing Perfection

Inuyasha

The Killing Perfection...

I was [pleasantly] surprised to actually find a sexy drawing of Naraku

I LOVE the art that shows the Inu no Taisho's relationship with Sesshomaru.

It looks like he must have been a really good dad.

Aww!!

Baby Sesshomaru is the most adorable cutie ever!!

(Although he'd probably gut me if he heard me say that)

He's still crazy adorable though... clinging to Daddy.

Okay, so this is off topic.

I don't know who this Byakuya dude is,

but because of him I may begin to watch Bleach.

*Sigh*

Bishie boys equal happiness. Sesshomaru is the truth. Same as Sakujun.

OMG!! OMG!!! OMG!!!! New episode!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*In case you were wondering: Yes, I occasionally do have the mind of a sixteen year old boy*

p.s. this has to be the wierdest thing i've ever seen in anime: This is why guro scares me.

First Post of the New Year (well the second really)

Kudos to Oo Nwoye for acknowledging his Nigerianness/ Nigerian affiliations on the About page of his Internet startup One Page.

For that reason, I will join..... as soon as I get my invite code. (also because it's a great idea).

p.s. Hey Oo, do you think you could use Nepotism to speed up my invite code process? Thanks. Corruption can be put to good use you know.

Happy New Year!!!!

Yay!! It's 2010!

Happy New Year!

May this year be a great year for all of us.

A year of love, happiness, success, fulfillment, and creativity!