Master Cleanse Days 5, 6, and 7

This was both a busy and lazy weekend for me. My school had an International Cultural night which I attended and there was food EVERYWHERE. Really really great smelling (and probably tasting ) food. I was so tempted. Not because it was food per se but because this was traditional food from all these countries which I'd have to wait another year to try if I missed it.

Never fear however, I persevered and ate nothing. Not even a bite. I packed my lemonade with me and drank two bottles of that in lieu of sampling all the scrumplicious food. (it made me so sad).

Sha sha, I did plan in advance. I packed a container in my bag so I filled it with all the food I went around collecting and now it's sitting in my freezer until the Master Cleanse is over and I can eat again.

My stash of random intercontinental food

I drank half of one bottle there and then to stave off cravings

Polished off the rest as the night progressed

I'll thaw and reheat the food next week

Friday which was Day 5 was pretty good. I woke up feeling great. Saturday was also the same way. No hunger, no cravings, nothing. However, last night (still Saturday) I did the Salt Water Flush really late so I ended up sitting on the toilet till 3am.

My final weight after Day 4 (morning of Friday - Day 5)

My final weight after Day 5 (morning of Day 6 - Saturday)

My final weight after Day 6 (This morning -Sunday, Day 7)

Woohoo!!!!! I'm in the TWENTIES!!!!

So I was sitting on the toilet, talking to Mellowyel when I realised how FED UP I am with these Salt Water Flushes. First of all the salt water is disgusting to drink. I almost threw it up last night but I managed to down the whole bottle AND not throw up. Second, it makes you poo gallons and gallons of hot peppery water.
Third, the pepper burns your ass. Fourth, sitting on the toilet for two hours plus at a time makes me legs fall asleep which is not cool when I try to stand up and subsequently fall down.

Salt water flushes are NOT cool. I definitely will not miss them when this cleanse is over.

In fact, I became so fed up with my new ultra close relationship with the toilet that I decided to draw a self portrait of myself doing my new compulsory favourite activity.

Mind you, I drew this WHILE I was ACTUALLY sitting on the toilet and talking to Mellowyel so it's not been inked or anything. And I haven't even finished drawing my hand because I'm bad at drawing hands and I have to practise more.

Yes, I really do take my laptop to the bathroom with me

I also take my sketchbook, my phone, my keys, my journal, a yard stick, two erasers, 5 pencils, and an ungodly number of pens

Congratulations, you have now officially seen my nyash.

Yeah, I really was wearing a hoodie and I had my jeans around my ankles like I always do

I used to always sit on the toilet naked

But after I left the door unlocked by accident one time

I've decided it's wiser to confine my penchant for nudity to toilets to which I have exclusive access

The frilly stuff you see me sitting on is toilet paper

I am one of those girls

I toilet paper any and all unfamiliar toilet seats before sitting down

Dianyi, this is America

Only goodness knows what evil disease is waiting on the toilet seat

Bent on inflicting itself on your bottom

The fear of Herpes is the beginning of wisdom

In other completely random news:

I stopped by my school's bookstore to buy some new black pens ( I NEED to have black pens. I use only black. Blue ink is for losers and Non-Believers), and I came across something familiar that had me jumping up and down like an idiot.

You know you've been in America too long if this has the ability to excite you

About a Boy

Yesterday I met a boy.

I think he's really really cute.

He helped me make an origami crane.

And while he was folding the paper his hand accidentally brushed against my hand.

His hands are so soft.........

He doesn't know it but I'm totally crushing.

He doesn't know it but he starred in all of my late night fantasies last night.

Now every time I think about him I can feel the blood creeping up to my face.

I like him. A lot. 

I like him plenty but I'm afraid that if anything happens between us it will make me look like a cougar.

Like I said, yesterday I met a boy. 

He was born in 1990.

I'm about to turn twenty-one. 

Please tell me this is not illegal.

Yours sincerely,

Totally Crushing Sugabelly

His name is Yasunori

International Marketing: The Fruits of Sweat and Blood

So, after weeks of shouting begging screaming and nearly throttling my group members. And after the fact that I stayed up till 6am re-writing and writing 40 out of the 53 pages that went into our project, and after all the drama and frustration that I experienced, I was finally rewarded for my efforts.

And let me just say this.

If any of my group members so much as give themselves too much credit for this I will simply print out all the emails I sent them giving them the answers to their portions of the project and paste them on the wall.

Nonsense and Ingredient.

Ah, the pride =D

Master Cleanse Day 4:

I woke up feeling amazing. No hunger whatsoever. No desire for food whatsoever. There really isn't much to report.

I'm sitting on the toilet as I'm typing this (did the Salt Water Flush about an hour ago). So far so good.

I can't believe I've gone four and a half days without food but I feel great (last time I ate was Sunday afternoon).

I feel a lot lighter and my stomach seems a bit smaller although that's the only physical change I have noticed so far. I suppose once I get into the later days of the cleanse I'll start seeing more results.

Either way, visible changes or no, I feel much much better than I did when I was stuffing myself full of disgusting American food. (America has the worst food in the universe. This fact is indisputable.  Of course, on the flip side, Nigeria the Beloved has the best food in the history of humankind. Again, do not argue with me on this. It is simply the truth and fundamental universal law. Beans with sugar and Gari with milk trump anything this hemisphere of the world has to offer. End of.)

I will update this post with my weight tomorrow.

Master Cleanse Day 3:

Today started really badly. I think it had something to do with my period. Who knows, but I woke up with a splitting headache in the base of my skull. Plus I overslept and was really late for work. The day went by rather slowly and I felt a bit ill for most of it but I thought that I might be a little dehydrated so I went downstairs, walked past all the delicious smelling food and bought a litre bottle of water and drank it (in addition to my regular lemonade).

Drinking the water really improved things although I had to go to the bathroom every fifteen minutes. Plus I'm peeing pure water now (yes, from the RIGHT place) which is happening I assume because there's nothing in my system by this point. (Wow, I can't believe the last time I ate any food or drank anything else was Sunday afternoon).

I didn't feel hungry today either although because I was feeling ill I finished my lemonade much faster than usual and didn't stick strictly to my usual drinking timetable (I space the cups so I drink the equivalent of one cup every two hours).

I'm sitting on the toilet right now having done the Salt Water Flush about an hour ago. I guess based on that I've only got one more hour of butt-peeing left to do. I did weigh myself this morning and I had gained a pound (which I'm guessing is due to bloating from my period). I haven't weighed myself this evening yet. I don't think I will, but I will weigh tomorrow.

I also haven't measured myself yet, but I will and then I'll put up the measurements later. My food cravings have almost disappeared entirely now. I don't think about eating all the time like I was doing a week ago. I'm finding it easier to focus on other things (although now I have to defeat my procrastination demons).

Generally I feel pretty good. I feel a lot lighter. I used to feel bloated and sick all the time so I can say I feel much better.

Scale Photo Verification:

Sorry it's fuzzy again.

Update: I weighed myself again this morning. This is the final figure after the completion of Day 3 (yesterday)

Question of the Day

Dibias (Igbo doctors) before the introduction of Western medicine, performed surgery and administered anaesthesia.

True or False?

(Answer will be posted later this evening)

Master Cleanse Day 2:

So far so good. Today was another easy day. I didn't feel hungry. I didn't even crave food, although there actually was an incident in which I almost ate a bagel. ALMOST! It was dreadful. There I was, minding my business walking down the hallway when I turned a corner and ran smack into a box of bagels with a sign 'Take one' on it. For a second my hand involuntarily reached out but then I gave myself a mental slap and my arm just hovered in the air over the bagels.

It was temptation, but will power won out. Tufiakwa to random food that just sneaks up on you. Whew!! That was a really close call.

That aside, everything else went pretty well.

Hang on, did I say everything? Everything was going so well, and then.......

Of all the things that could happen just when I decided to go on the Master Cleanse. Of all the things that could happen just when I started a liquid diet, it had to be THIS ONE THING!!

Now not only will I be starving but I'll be losing blood too.

My period came! Today!! Why oh why did it have to pick THIS WEEK?????

First of all, my period is late by about 22 days. Seeing as the only sex I've been having for a while has been in my mind, I didn't really give a shit.(lol, no Saltwater flush pun intended) so excuse me if I'm not pleased that it decided to show up in the middle of my liquid diet and fuck me up.

The next five days are going to be an exercise in sheer will. How do I know? Because I have one of those periods. It's always five days. ALWAYS. Talk about Murphy's Law.

So, I weighed myself this morning when I woke up and I guess the figure I got is a continuation of the original weight loss from Day 1, so the official figure for Day 2 (today) will be from when I weigh myself tomorrow.

Either way, here's my final weight for the end of Day 1 (i.e. the morning of Day 2).

Yay!! 3.4lbs lost!

In other depressing news: It is time for me to do tonight's Salt Water Flush (yes, which shall henceforth be known as the Fireshit Flush). This has got to be the WORST part of this diet. I've packed up my sketch book and my pencils and ink pens. Yesterday I was unprepared. Today however, I am going to properly situate myself in the bathroom. Since I'm going to be otherwise incapacitated for the next two hours, I might as well be productive.

I'm going to do a few drawings on the porcelain throne...

Master Cleanse Day 1:

Hey everyone, so it's evening now and I thought it would be good to do an update on my Master Cleanse.

Today was the first day of the actual diet and I woke up and made my lemonade this morning. I packed all four bottles in my bag (I'm drinking 8 cups a day so I have four 20oz bottles that hold two cups each - each cup is 10oz). I also gave myself a drinking time table. I decided that I would drink one cup every two hours starting from 9am. So in other words, at 9 I drank half of one bottle and then at 11 I drank the rest and so on. I also set 9 individual alarms in my cell phone (8 alarms for each of the cups I was supposed to drink and 1 alarm for the Salt water flush - which I actually have to do in 10 minutes).

Early morning preparation

As far as difficulty goes, today was actually pretty easy. I didn't feel hungry at all. My greatest problem however was the impulse to eat because it felt odd just going the whole day without eating something. So mainly I felt a strong desire to eat out of habit rather than because I was actually hungry.

Hopefully the food cravings will go away soon. If they persist for the whole ten days they could pose quite a challenge.

On to the part everyone likes to hear.

I just weighed myself (because this is the first day I weighed myself tonight but as from tomorrow I will start weighing myself first thing in the morning.) and here are the results:

Day 1

Weight: 235.8lbs

Waist: 36 inches

Abdomen: 44 inches

Hips: 48 inches

Thigh (one) circumference: 30 inches

Calf circumference: 17.5 inches

Chest (under) : 36 inches

Chest including breasts: 44.5 inches

Chest (over): 37 inches

Upper arm: 15.5 inches

Lower arm: 12 inches

Wrist: 7.5 inches

Neck: 15 inches

Ankle: 10 inches

Scale Photo Verification:

Sorry it's a bit fuzzy

In other news:

I couldn't sleep last night (again) so I did another drawing (again). Here it is.

Please note, unlike all the others, this particular drawing is NOT my original artwork. I was simply practising the pose and in the picture below the original is clearly visible. 

Also the original may be found here.

Again, this is not my original work, I drew the whole thing of course, but the only part of it that is my original composition/idea is the head. I take credit for that. I'm a natural hair snob so I gave my girlie curlies ^_^

Yeah. I know.

See what I was talking about?

Yay!! Nigerian girls are sexy too!!

Practice makes perfect.

I hope.

Cheers!! I'm off to do the Salt Water Flush and spend the next hour sitting on the toilet!!

Wish me luck =D

Update (9:06pm): Just so you know, I am still sitting on the toilet, and my ass is on fire. Yeah, this part is definitely not fun. :(


Update (9:14pm): Okay, this is NOT COOL. I am basically peeing from my ass. What the hell? *worried*

Master Cleanse and Some Art

So I suggested to Sting that we have a weight loss competition. Not because I want to have a weight loss competition but because we both want to lose weight and it's always easier when you have someone to report to or someone doing it with you.

My original starting weight last term was 251lbs but by the end of the term I had dropped to 233lbs. By the beginning of this term however, I had gained a couple of pounds.

Sting already fell off the bandwagon (she put up a post a few days ago saying she was sick and so had to eat) so I'm officially declaring today the start of our diet. 

The rule is, whoever reaches their target weight first wins.

My target weight is 125lbs. 

Starting from later on today I will be doing the Master Cleanse for ten days and I will update my progress here daily. Sunday was the preparation day and I went out and got all my ingredients that I would need to do the cleanse. 

I'm following the rules on http://themastercleanse.org, and I already took the beginning laxative so I'm assuming that I shall have to visit the toilet pretty soon (gross I know, but necessary). I've never taken a laxative before in my life so I'm very nervous about this.

My starting weight is 238lbs.

Yes, that is my scale, and those are my feet.

Here's my equipment:

Lemon Juice

Maple Syrup

Cayenne Pepper

Laxatives

Sea Salt

Measuring Cup

Long mixing spoons

Measuring spoons

Bottles

Brita filter

So basically I'm going to mix two tablespoons of lemon juice with two tablespoons of maple syrup and 1/10 teaspoon of Cayenne Pepper with 8oz of water and I will drink eight cups of this every day and forgo all food whatsoever for the next ten days. 

It will be hard. I will be hungry. I probably will even be miserable, but I hate being fat more than I fear being hungry.

At the end of everything if I am successful, I will post before and after pictures. But until then, here is my starting information (taken on Sunday):

Master Cleanse Pre-Day:

Starting weight - 238lbs

Chest circumference (below breasts): 36 inches

Chest circumference (above breasts): 38 inches

Chest circumference (breasts included): 45 inches

Waist circumference: 36 inches

Abdomen circumference: 44 inches

Hips: 48 inches

Thigh (single) circumference: 30 inches

Calf circumference: 17.5 inches

Ankle circumference: 10 inches

Upper arm circumference: 15.5 inches

Lower arm circumference: 12.5 inches

Wrist circumference: 7.5 inches

Neck circumference: 15 inches

And before you scream in horror, remember that I'm practically six feet tall (I'm 5ft 11.5 inches) so it's not like I'm short and stout or anything.

In other news, last night I couldn't sleep so I decided to draw something. I ended up with this.

A random drawing (not a character from my story)

Pencil

Beginning the inking

Inking almost complete

Not sure what to do with the body

Cleaned up (pencil lines erased except for jaw shadow - still afraid to ink that part)

Utomi - a character from my story

She's not finished yet

And that thing next to her is a peacock (or at least it will be)

My sketch book is full of semi-finished drawings :(

My very first attempt at colouring with marker!!!

I used washable markers to do this so it's definitely not as good as it would have been if I had used an alcohol based marker.

Also I did this drawing and coloured it on a piece of scrap paper I found in my bag.

His skin is green, his hair is purple, and his eyes are orange.

Yeah, so that's what I've been up to. I'll be updating every day until the diet is over. I'm not looking forward to the salt water flush at all. I have to mix a tablespoon of salt with a litre of water and drink it all at night. It's supposed to make me poo. There are a couple of bloggers that have done this cleanse (no Nigerians that I know about though) and they all came out with improved health, radiant looking skin and a sunny disposition so I'm hoping my results will be positive.

formspring.me

Jesus Te ama!

Todos que tengo es tuyos. Soy tuya y tuya quiero ser. Haca conmigo lo que haras.

=D lol. I speak spanish.

I dont want to ask, just keep the blog coming. Hilarious.

Lol. Thanks.

you're often caught up in serious/intellectual discussions on your blog; do you do any normal/typical things for a woman your age than write & draw?What do you do for fun?

Erm... what's normal for a woman my age? Well I dunno. I mean, I personally think I'm a pretty boring person. If you think otherwise I'm flattered. Aside from writing, drawing, watching anime and other questionable content on the internet (*cough* hentai *cough*), dreaming of cute boys, obsessing over shoes, reading, going to concerts, hunting through African fairs for obscure Nigerian artifacts, reading Japanese blogs, dreaming of stealing entire museum collections of ancient Nigerian objects, obsessing over Barnes and Noble, lusting after traditional Nigerian footwear, playing the piano, drawing with my left hand, plotting world domination with my baby cousin, spying on the art classes at my school, looking forward to the day when I will have a pet serval named Allamin Daggash, displaying stalkerish behaviour in the presence of Hiroki Naramiya, and attempting to cook, no, I really don't think there's much I do that amuses me.

I wonder if you have an ugly soul. Do you?

Well... considering the fact that people generally can't see souls, and considering the fact that at a time when you are opportune to actually check and see what your soul looks like you can't (I seriously doubt if there are any mirrors in the afterlife) I really have no idea.

I might be an artist (albeit a questionable one) but even I am incapable of such leaps of imagination. Here's what I think about my soul: I think it's kinda shimmery. That's as far as I've got.

You however, seem to have some kind of insight on this. So, what about you? Do you have an ugly soul?

do you consider your upbringing privilege compared to the average Nigerian?

Ah... how to answer this question?

I don't consider my upbringing privileged at all, but then again, we have to compare mine to someone else's.

The real question is: What kind of upbringing is considered "average" in Nigeria? Does average in Nigeria mean middle class? Or just okay? Or poor? Or really wealthy? Also, how much do experiences count towards this? (Upbringing isn't just about financial wealth. It's also about education, culture, exposure, etc)

I consider the upbringing of many of my friends somewhat more privileged compared to mine.

However, to be completely honest, I would say that I'm grateful that my Mom exposed me to as many positive influences and experiences as possible when I was growing up. I learned to read at an excessively young age (my mom taught me to read long before I even had any idea what 'school' was) and like many only children, I was (and still am) a voracious reader. I read everything. Books, newspapers, Obstretrics manuals (although my aunt screamed and took it away when she found me sitting on the toilet with my nose buried in a page graphically describing how to assist a birth), receipts, sign boards, everything. I didn't have many friends as a child so I became very adept at activities that you can do alone.

I played piano, I was training to be a gymnast, I played tennis and swam all the time, I had lots of toys, more so than most of my friends at the time, I was allowed to do a lot of things, go to a lot of places, and voice my opinions in such a way that I think (at the time) most Nigerians would have frowned upon a child being allowed to and I will forever be grateful for that. I've lived in all sorts of places and met all sorts of people, and while growing up I experienced a variety of financial situations.

Not that I was ever explicitly made aware of them as I was still a child, but I know that we've been wealthy, comfortable, struggling, almost poor, semi-homeless, and then back again. So it's not like I had one singular experience all the while I was growing up. I will say though, that whatever the situation was, my Mom has always done her best to maintain a certain standard of living for us, and she saw to it that I went to the best schools and got the best education available in Nigeria (yay Loyola!!)

A certain standard of behaviour? Comportment? I'm reaching for words here so forgive me if it doesn't really make sense has always been expected of me no matter what the situation was so I'm sort of an aje hybrid.Of course I was quite rebellious so any impressions that I was this prim and proper person are highly inaccurate. Not that aje is exclusively symbolic of being well educated, well spoken, well read, well behaved, and so on, but that despite the variedness of my experiences, a lot of people might say off the bat 'she's kinda aje' (or at least that is what they would have said in 90's Nigeria - these days I don't think people care as much).

So, having rambled to this point, do I consider my upbringing privileged compared to the average Nigerian?

Maybe a little bit but only by a small bit. I mean, compared to lots of people in Nigeria, it wasn't all that, but at least my childhood is precious to me. I enjoyed it immensely, I'm eternally grateful for it and I would do it all over again if I had the chance.

Aww!! Now this is making me teary eyed. Thanks Mom!!! I love you. =D

do you consider yourself an attractive person, physically & mentally?

It kinda varies. I mean, I have days (or at least I HAD days) when I look in the mirror and I'm like 'yeah'. But then I also have days when I think I look like crap.

Every girl has some sort of insecurity about her looks and I'm no different. I think I'm fairly pretty. I'm not expecting to walk into Miss World and blow them away but I think I would be attracted to me if I were a guy.

Mentally is a whole different ball game. Intelligence is always good, and while I would say I'm pretty intelligent, I also went to a school where EVERYONE was intelligent (and some people were FREAKISHLY intelligent - *side eye* Greg Ugwi) so it's not like I spend my afternoons stroking my brow and thinking to myself 'damn, I'm smart'.

I don't always like the way my mind works. To be honest, I've done a lot of growing mentally and it is rather creepy to realise that my thinking pattern has actually changed over the years (meaning that somehow I'm not the same person I was two years ago, and yet the same) but the long and short of this is: For the most part, I think I'm mentally attractive.

Of course, there are sides of me that some people might not like. Hell, there are sides of me that I don't like. And if you're looking for a rocket scientist or someone to derive E=MC2 with you then count.me.out. but can we have an interesting conversation? Yeah, I would say so.

Who are you, why cant we comment on your blog?

My name is Chinwe Chika Chilala, African Chiquita Numba 1.

I kid. On teh interwebz, I'm called Sugabelly.

As for why you can't comment on my blog, I have no idea. You'll have to take that up with Google/Blogger.

Although if it's any help, anonymous commenters can't comment on my blog due to abuse of commenting privileges. If you're anonymous then you'll have to get some sort of online ID (join Blogger or OpenID) to comment on my blog.

wht is this abt

My dear anonymous questioner, whatever do you mean?

Why must you only see the color?

What colour? I'm sorry I don't understand your question but in consolation I can confirm that I, Sugabelly, like most humans can see in full colour vision. Also if it interests you, I can reveal that I have on occasion, dreamed in black and white.

how do you say "all the best" in igbo?

See the problem is: Igbo and English are not parallel languages. You can't expect English expressions to exist in Igbo and you can't expect Igbo expressions to exist in English.

There is no way to say 'all the best' in Igbo.

There are however, EQUIVALENT expressions in Igbo but they don't translate LITERALLY to 'all the best'

Probably you could say 'Bute ofa'. Ofa is luck (luck is also Awele) and Bute is 'bring'. However, the expression 'Bute ofa' is often used to mean have luck or good fortune. So while I could say M bute ofa to mean I was lucky or whatever I did went well, you could say 'Bute ofa' to someone else to convey your wish that things go well with them.

Of course this isn't the ONLY Igbo expression that could be used in place of 'all the best', it's just one example. All I'm saying is just don't go looking for expressions from language A in language B. Unless the languages are parallel (meaning that DIRECT conversion is possible throughout between the two) you won't find them.

do you think you can't be desirable even though you're big? y the obsession to be thin

Of course you can be desirable even though you're big. But PERSONALLY though, I don't think being the weight/size I am right now suits me. Everyone's body is different and there are people that look great at every size, but I think I look a lot better (and feel more desirable) at 125 - 135 lbs than I do now.

I'm not obsessed with being thin. I desire to be SLIM. There IS a difference. I want to be at a weight where my body is capable of carrying out the full range of human motion without discomfort. I don't want to constantly fear for my health or worry that some weight-related medical condition might creep up on me suddenly. At the same time, I want to be able to wear clothes that fit and hang in a flattering way. While it might be true that clothes are made in all sizes, the fact is, slim people LOOK BETTER in clothes than do larger or even thinner people.

I have written a post about my weight issues and why I want to lose weight but to summarise here, I should NOT have to sit down and catch my breath after climbing up four steps.

I don't care what anyone says but that is NOT normal and it is not healthy for a human being. I don't think being fat is a good thing and I don't think being thin is a good thing either. I think the only acceptable way to be is slim. I'm sure there are lots of people that might disagree but that is how I feel. I'm also sure that there are lots of people ten times fatter than I am and that feel perfectly fine, but at the end of the day, that's them and not me.

At this weight and size, I not only feel unhealthy but rather unattractive. I know the general lack of attraction towards fat people is evolutionary (animals are most attracted to mates that appear HEALTHY) but there is still a grain of truth at the bottom of that evolutionary impulse (excessive fatness is generally unhealthy).

So, it's not that I think I CAN'T be desirable (and I'm sure that there are at least five men out there that would find me attractive now) but it's more that I would rather be within the acceptable health standard that I have set for myself and let my outer attractiveness be a reflection of my inner improved health.

Ask me anything

So Much for Igbo Chastity

There is no group of people on Earth that like to claim they are "moral" and "decent" and "chaste" like Igbo people do.

Here's a scan I made of something interesting I found in my research for my story.

 

In case you didn't notice what exactly I'm referring to 

here, I cropped it for you

So much for the myth of Igbo virginity. I gamely await the rebuttals of indignant Igbo netizens everywhere =D

Say it with me: Igbo people make me laugh.

Igbo Expression of the Week

Taba Nsi

Be Patient

(Lit: Eat Shit)

Igbo rocks. Go forth and speak it.

=D

Expansion:

An Idiom is a phrase or expression producing meaning beyond the sum of words 

An Idiom refers to a grammatical construction unique to a certain people, region, or class that cannot be translated literally into another language (e.g., "To be on thin ice," "To pull someone's leg")

An Idiom  is a common expression that has acquired a meaning that differs from its literal meaning, such as “It’s raining cats and dogs” or “That cost me an arm and a leg.”

The above phrase is an Igbo Idiom.

Many Nigerians in general, and Igbos in particular (myself included) grew up in a world where we had to constantly convert back and forth from [insert language] to English and vice versa. This is not anyone's fault. I'm just pointing it out.

This tendency to mentally translate other languages piecemeal into English and then glean understanding from the English translation however, is highly problematic. 

Why is this problematic? Because English and Igbo are not parallel languages. The expression "lost in translation" implies that it is impossible to directly convert between two languages and transmit 100% of the meaning. This was the first thing I understood thoroughly that allowed me to learn Spanish, Hausa, and French with relative ease (even though I pretty much discarded all three once my use for them had ended).

The Golden Rule is this: There is NO direct conversion. It might appear that way, but the truth is, the most reliable conversion is EQUIVALENT conversion. In other words, you must resist the compulsion to break Igbo down into bits and pieces that you can translate into English. In fact, resist the compulsion to translate Igbo into English at all. The two languages are completely alien to each other and any attempts at direct conversion leads to missing the true meaning at best and confusion at worst.

Take the above expression for instance. Taba Nsi. The construction is weird and as someone pointed out, it should be "Ta Nsi". In fact, "Ta Nsi" means "Bite Shit" and "Taba Nsi" means "Begin to bite shit" or "Start biting shit". Technically it should say ' Li(e) Nsi' which is a command to eat shit. However, no one is remembering that this is an idiomatic expression which means that it doesn't necessarily have to (and most likely does not) follow the general pattern of regular speech. This also  means that its meaning may have no relationship whatsoever to its literal translation.

As someone else pointed out, it is also possible to say "Nwe Ndidi" which literally means 'Have Patience'. However, Nwe Ndidi comes from directly translating the English expression "Have patience" whereas the correct Igbo equivalent would be "Di Ndidi" (lit: Be patient). 'Have patience' doesn't exist in Igbo in that form. It's an English construction not an Igbo one.

Either way, my point is this: Taba Nsi's construction is the way it is because it is an idiom. Secondly and most importantly, it is not the literal meaning that is important, but the bridge between the literal meaning and the implied meaning that is what matters. In the case of this particular expression, while I have never tried it myself, I imagine that eating shit would indeed require infinite amounts of patience.

So, ask yourself: What is the implication of eating shit?


While many implications can be found, patience is one of them.

And therein, you have your meaning.

Now, taba nsi.

Week Mashup

Here's a very short excerpt from my story about Faza our Ogbanje.

It was said that no woman on Earth could resist Azie Faza. No woman and very few men. While the Eze Nri never left the palace, the prince was now free to walk where he willed and it was the second greatest honour to receive the crown prince, whose presence proclaimed the status and elevated the prestige of his hosts to all around. He was the toast of high society and as universally adored as he was hated and feared. Whenever the Azie swept into Onicha, women of the huge merchant city, ogoli and abogho alike found themselves unable to walk straight for days after his departure.

Disenchanted with life, the prince drifted listlessly from conquest to conquest. Nri had been at peace for just thirty years after subjugating the Ibibio kingdom to the east. There were no wars for him to demonstrate his battle prowess in, and his family’s strange style of administration meant the keeping of law and order relied more heavily on religious control than on an active military. The Nri Emperor maintained only a tiny standing army that was more for the decoration of the capital really than for anything else. Faza thought this exceedingly foolish of his father and had tried to voice just as much, but was denied audience by the Eze.

Though his combat skills weren’t particularly needed, he trained every day. While there was no imminent threat of war hanging over the nation, there were always those that stood to gain from a well-timed assassination of the heir to the throne. Besides, if Faza had one true joy in life, it was his body, and he went to painstaking lengths to maintain it. He was tall and lean but well-muscled though not muscular. His torso was long as were his perfectly sculpted legs. The muscles of his abdomen formed a six set washboard leading to slim hips and his moderately ripped biceps belied incredible strength, but his true glory was his face and thick, longer-than-average hair.

Brown eyes framed by long black lashes, perfectly arching eyebrows, a softly flaring nose, and large, pillow-soft lips that drew back to reveal a blinding white smile and straight, healthy teeth made the prince the fuel of female fantasies nationwide and abroad. Azie Faza was not handsome by any measure, he was beautiful.

 I didn't get a lot of writing in this week because I was swamped with my International Marketing Project, but I did get some drawing in. (Ironically, I found time to draw by spending my Comparative Management classes sketching while the professor talked). What did I accomplish in art this week? Surprisingly a lot.

I did a preliminary sketch for a younger Faza which I'm excited about. I will have to make some changes but at least I can now envision him in my head. I also learned how to draw in profile which is great!! I'm making progress, and (*drums roll please*) I drew my first COMPLETELY UNAIDED male frontal figure!!!!!! With facial features to boot!!! I am so pleased!! I have always been very scared of drawing men and I secretly thought there was no way I would ever be able to master the male body to the point that I would be able to just sit down and draw a man, but I did!!

A couple of my random sketches that I did during Comparative Management

I did him completely from my head!!!

My first UNAIDED full male figure!!!

I was just sitting in the middle of class and I pulled out a sheet of paper and started drawing. At first I didn't think I'd be able to do it. I did his head okay but I wasn't confident I could remember how to draw the male body. When I got his torso right I was like 'maybe I can actually do this...' and I did!!!

=D

The Igbo text next to him reads "Odogo Aya" - War General

This is actually an inaccurate tag. 

Number One: He's not wearing Igbo armour (speaking of which I should do a post about that. Igbo armour is fucking sick!!)

Number Two: The only reason I called him that was because his face looks kinda Battle Hardcore

Number Three: He's wearing a prince's collar (which he shouldn't be - I just drew it there because I messing about and never even intended to draw him in the first place)

Number Four: That's not his job. He's actually someone who works at the Nri Palace

I was practising male profiles A LOT. 

I just gave this guy a tunnel piercing to add some variety

Another profile. 

I also was kinda messing about and writing random Igbo words all over the paper as you can obviously tell

Yet another profile but looking at a different side of the head

Even more profiles (these are the last!!! I promise!!)

My first successful male figures!!!

I drew these by following a male figure tutorial on Deviant Art

You can see the resemblance between these and the Odogo Aya

In case you're wondering why, it's an anatomical reference:

The fingertips are in line with the tip of the penis

A short female body from a couple of angles

Trying out different drawing methods

Also, all my women tend to have very Nigerian bodies

A couple of female heads I did from different angles

I know some of them look weird

Hopefully practice will make perfect

Another drawing I am very proud of. 

This young man is one of the facilitators of a secret society meeting

i.e. he's in a secret society but he's not one of the privileged members

he's simply an attendant that organizes things and makes sure the meetings go smoothly

Kinda like an usher at an event

Because of his position, I put the Nsibidi for "Meeting" on his forehead.

He's also holding in his hands two fans but I've been to lazy to draw them in properly

=D

Azie Faza (our Ogbanje remember?): Just started inking. 

You can still see most of the pencil

Yes, that red thing is what you think it is

Azie Faza. (Prince Faza)

I still haven't finished his inking. 

He's wearing the traditional red Igbo cap with an eagle's feather in it showing his high status

He's also wearing a collar (which I mentioned before) because he's barechested

The collar is to remind people of the traditional robe that he normally wears (i.e. a reminder of his power and position)

The collar is consistent with traditionally identifiable Igbo collars present in robes and masquerades

(I've been wanting to do a post about Nigerian collars but let me just summarize here: From what I have observed, on traditional clothing, Yorubas, Hausas, and Igbos all have very distinct Collar Styles.

I don't know why this is so, I have simply observed it.

i.e. Hausa collars are straight on one side and diagonal/slanting on the other.

Like so:

Yoruba collars are round, closer to the neck, but then dip down in a straight line opening.

Like so:

 Igbo collars are round, far from the neck (resting more on the collarbones near the shoulders)

Like so:

Igbo Masquerade outfits

Igbo Man of Mbwaku (date: 1895 or earlier)

And as this historical photograph shows, Igbos (at least some of them) at some point wore something similar to Agbada or Babanriga (the folds of cloth on his shoulder imply this).

I doubt that it was as big as either of the two however

I also doubt that it was worn with trousers (this is a possibility - however if it was worn with trousers at any point it would have been worn with skinny pants [Igbo trousers are actually much more close fitting than any other kind of traditional trousers on the continent - Scroll up and look at the masquerades)

It was most likely worn with nabi.

Faza's collar is consistent with traditional Igbo collar design.

Did I mention that this collar rule only applies to MEN/MALE CLOTHING?

Of course, these are only my observations.

I have also noticed that there has been some convergence between Yoruba and Hausa culture such that collar /neckline designs have become interchangeable between these two groups

Does this mean that my observations are absolute and that there was no variety beyond what I have observed? Of  course not. I have no idea what the true range of traditional clothing was prior to European Invasion but from what I've seen it's certainly breathtaking.

I was just pointing out a few things I've noticed and discussing why certain things about my characters/drawings are the way they are.

More about drawings: I haven't started poses yet, so most of my drawings are standing, facing forward, and staring straight ahead, but at least it's an accomplishment. I'm very happy.  I also did some really simple calligraphy. I haven't cleaned my drawings yet so the pencil lines are still mostly very visible. I have inked most if not all of them so the combination of ink and pencil looks rather rough but at least the drawing is visible. Some of the drawings also are not complete. There's a lot of detail that I have to do on some of them but I'm lazy.

And that's all folks. Yay!! I have no class on Monday or Tuesday!!!!!!