The Gini Coefficient

The Gini Coefficient shows the disparity between income distribution in a country. The lower the number (i.e. the closer the number to zero), the more EQUITABLY distributed the total wealth of the country is amongst the population.

Now observe:

The United States has Gini Coefficient of 45

However, Nigeria has a Gini Coefficient of only 43.

This means that wealth is more equitably distributed amongst the population in Nigeria than it is in the United States (note: I know that economic figures change every day and this could have fluctuated by the time I hit 'Publish Post'), so why then are my business classmates so fond of making mind boggling statements like "The economic gap in Nigeria between the rich and the poor is so vast!" or " A great impassable chasm exists between the haves and the have-nots in Nigeria"

This is obviously a crock of bullshit.

I'm not saying that everyone in Nigeria is on the same economic level. Of course not, but what I AM saying is that the economic divide(s) in Nigeria are no greater than those that exist in the United States. Yet I don't see anybody desperately trying to save the United States or looking upon it as a country with condescension and pity.

The United States and Nigeria are very very similar in many aspects. They are not that different. I hate it when people act as if life in Nigeria is so different from life anywhere else in the world. We have the same economic problems and we'll fucking deal with them, but anybody trying to make out that Nigeria's disparity is sooooooooooooooo enormous is freaking joking.

Personally I think Nigerians ENJOY pretending that there is no middle class in Nigeria and that everyone neatly fits into either Stinking Rich or Dirt Poor.

As if.

Update/Clarification:

I'm not saying that incomes in the US are comparable to incomes in Nigeria. What I am saying is that the distribution of income in Nigeria (whatever it may be) is almost the same as the distribution of income in the United States. This does not mean that Nigerians are earning the same salary that Americans are. It just means that the proportion or rich people in America compared to the proportion of poor people in America (according to what America calls rich and poor) is the same as the proportion of rich people to poor people in Nigeria.

Also, again, it is untrue that MAJORITY of Nigerians are poor. I am not saying this because all my friends are comfortable and I have never seen poverty. I am saying this because the only part of Nigeria in which majority of the people are poor is in the North where there is a 70% poverty rate. The poverty rates for the South East is only 23% while the poverty rate of the South West is 25%.  On top of that, I think a lot of people are taking a very narrow definition of middle class here.

My personal definition of middle class and how I apply it to this situation is this:

I divide the population of Nigeria into the following groups:

Top Out of Sight 
(the super ultimate mega rich. So rich that you can't even see them - in other words - Silent Billionaires - tend to be entrepreneurs or heirs and heiresses to inherited family fortunes e.g. the children of Dangote, Adenuga, Fernandez and co.)

Upper Class
(the super rich but still very visible to society - Millionaires in the 50 -100 millions and above and maybe a billionaire or two e.g. Dangote, Adenuga, Fernandez and co *note, these are the parents. Their children are classed ABOVE them because while they (the parents) had to work for majority of the wealth, their children were born into luxury and as such it is their natural habitat while their parents are the outsiders/foreigners to wealth*). Usually entrepreneurs, top bankers, top doctors, lawyers, engineers, famous/celebrated authors, artists, etc.

Upper Middle Class
 Basically people who own their own houses, own their own cars, can afford to send their children to excellent - but not elite/ultimate exclusive - schools, can go on holiday numerous times a year to any country if they so choose - although they might not, are very well educated, anywhere from 10 million to 50 - 80 million and above. Usually doctors, lawyers, etc, near top managers, minor executives, or oil company employees and people in other areas

Lower Middle Class
People who own at least one house and can afford to live exceedingly comfortably. They can afford extravagances without discomfort occasionally but certainly not as frequently as the upper middle class can. If they rent because it is preferable they have no problem at all paying their rent and irrespective of whether or not they ACTUALLY do this in REAL LIFE, they have the CAPABILITY to pay for at least 90% of all their expenses on time and with minimum discomfort. They probably go on holiday once a year but don't embark on foreign travel on a whim, their children probably attend pretty good private schools but generally not the super exclusive schools that provide luxury amenities (e.g. laundry service) for their students.  Usually white collar workers in banks, oil companies, telecomms companies, and so on. Children generally attend good but less prestigious/desirable schools.

Working Class
People who generally rent with no ownership whatsoever anywhere (not even a house in villa - family houses don't count). Generally work less lucrative jobs than lower middle class. May or may not own cars but most certainly do not own houses. Can afford a few luxuries with minor to moderate discomfort/inconvenience. Children generally do not attend the most desirable schools.
In Nigeria teachers often fall into this category. Especially teachers in Federal Government schools. I know of course that there are lots of rich teachers out there and that's cool, but I'm just saying. Can only afford foreign travel once in a blue moon and then only with major preparation and considerable discomfort.

Lower Class
Do not own houses. May rent but generally rent either low income housing or rent in groups (face me I face you or many people sharing one room). May not have long term permanent employment, most work as housemaids, drivers, maiguardis, and other domestic help or provide services in markets, motor parks, and so on in other areas of the informal economy. Children generally attend sub-standard schooling such as Federal grammar schools. May own cars but in much fewer numbers than Working class.

Destitute
Most certainly do not own houses nor cars. Most likely unemployed or engaged in temporary employment. Beggars and other people of similar economic status fall into this bracket.


So, as you can see, Nigeria is not starkly divided into rich and poor. Perhaps if you wanted to divide Nigeria into SuperMegaKabuto Rich and Non-SuperMegaKabuto Rich then I could totally agree.

The fact is, Nigeria is stratified on socioeconomic levels just like any other country. And while there are really terribly poor people in Nigeria, it is not everybody and they are not even the majority. I would say that the three largest groups are the Lower Middle Class, the Working Class, and the Lower Class, and only one of these groups is out-and-out, categorically, ho-ha poor.

Finally, this is not a ranking of purely social class so please don't think that it is. I am not saying that teachers are lower class and that they are somehow beneath other people. I am ranking Nigerians according to socioECONOMIC status with HEAVY emphasis on the ECONOMIC part. Also, this is a VERY ROUGH/BROAD ranking and it is by no means definitive. It just a framework to give you guys (and any non-Nigerians out there) a snapshot of my idea of Nigeria's economic demographics.

As far as social class goes, it is a combination of things and not just money that go into determining social class. Having lots of money does not automatically make you upper class, and having little or no money even does not automatically make you lower class or destitute. There are people who have not even one kobo to their name in Nigeria that are upper class in every other aspect of their lives (except money of course) and there are some seriously lower class billionaires roaming about Nigeria like nobody's business. So, please do not be offended by this even though saying that is a waste of my breath.


Disclaimers to this post:

1. This is all just stuff I've written from my head. Please do not ask me for specific reports to back it up. I have lived in Nigeria for eighteen years, moved about frequently and interacted with all sorts of people, and I believe that as a Nigerian that makes my experiences in Nigeria a credible source to draw these conclusions from. Does this mean that my experience in Nigeria is THE DEFINITIVE Nigerian experience? No. Does it mean that my perspective on Nigeria is THE only right perspective or the only true perspective? No. I suppose a dirt poor person in Nigeria would probably say that there are only two kinds of people in Nigeria: Rich and Poor. That's an opinion that's formed from their own experiences in life. However, I'm thankful that I was born into a situation that allowed me to see a WIDE RANGE of Nigerian situations and this has led me to conclude (and categorize Nigerians according to socio-economic status) the way I have.

2. Regarding the Renting versus Owning situation, I am taking into account the fact that outside Nigeria's major cities, house ownership rates skyrocket. This is because we are a country where MOST people are still GENERALLY living on their own ancestral land. As a result, I only considered home ownership rates in Nigerian centres of migration (i.e. big cities where almost half the occupants are NOT living on their ANCESTRAL land - in other words, most of the people in Lagos and Abuja MIGRATED there).

3. I am well aware that there are very rich beggars out there (particularly in the North) who have made begging fortunes through organizing highly complex and stratified inter-state begging syndicates. However, for the general purposes of this post I am referring to the average every day Nigerian beggar.

4. I cannot vouch for the numbers on this. I'm just pulling this stuff out of my head BASED ON WHAT I HAVE SEEN, EXPERIENCED, and OBSERVED. In other words they are very broad estimates. If YOUR experience is different, that is fine. But please before you jump out to call me a liar remember that what is true for me might not be true for you but at the same time just because it isn't true for you does not make it any less true in general. However, the numbers for the poverty rates in Northern Nigeria, Eastern Nigeria and Western Nigeria are correct. I got them from a published study that came out last year. I have mislaid the study but I think some googling will eventually lead you to it. It was published in a couple of Nigerian newspapers so as far as my knowledge goes, the poverty rate numbers I quoted are accurate. Everything else is an estimate.

5. The titles of my classifications are taken from the book "Class" by Paul Fussel. However, the descriptions of the classes in Nigeria, occupations, etc are entirely my own based on my life in Nigeria and my own observations.Only the headings/titles belong to Mr. Fussel. But I must credit him as a reference for giving me an idea of where to start in classifying the Nigerian population.

6. There are always exceptions. I am well aware of this. There is no need to tell me about your Uncle's Brother's Aunty's Cousin who...  I know.

I'm TWENTY-ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pre-Birthday dinner at John Astors

Nigerian Companies Never Ever Learn - Obongo Mail

Remember iKobo?

Well meet ObongoMail.

Yeah. They really never learn.

Advertising 101: Your consumers or potential consumers MUST be able to IDENTIFY with the models using the product in the ad in some key way. This will then enable them to envision themselves IN PLACE of the model using the product.

How many Nigerians do you know that look like this?

I am so sick of Nigerian companies that feel the need to market their products and services using White people. Newsflash!!! Nigeria is 99.9% black. Unless perhaps they are really targeting the five white people in Nigeria. If that is the case I apologize for calling them out, but as long as what they wrote there is market to MILLIONS in Nigeria, then it is only logical to assume that they are talking about Nigerians since the only group of people that number up to even one million in Nigeria are actual Nigerians.

So excuse me while I feel the intense desire to capture the owner of Obongo mail and bongo his or her head. 

Goodness, it is not hard. This is the FIRST thing they teach you in business school. It is freaking common sense. This is like trying to market horseshoes to a horse using a crocodile as your demonstration model. I am sick of all these STUPID Nigerian companies that are so in love with Caucasians and think that they are so much better than Nigerians that they feel the need to appeal as much as possible to Caucasian sensibilities when the net worth of all the Caucasians in Nigeria combined can't even make any kind of significant dent in Nigeria's GNI.

There is nothing inherently wrong with Caucasians but there IS something wrong with stupid Nigerians and the companies they own not valuing their fellow Nigerians enough to even have the decency to market us a good or service using models that actually look like us. 

How can you expect me to use ObongoMail which you claim is for Nigerians when you don't even have the common courtesy to employ a Nigerian model so that I can actually envision myself using your service? Like seriously, who the hell do these companies think they're marketing their stuff to?

Call it whatever you want, if you are a Nigerian company or if you are a company targeting Nigerians and you cannot respect Nigerians enough to use Nigerian (or at the very least Black) models in your marketing campaigns targeting Nigerians then I don't care if you have the best widget in the world that you are selling, if you are a Nigerian company and you cannot be proudly Nigerian then you will not see a kobo of my money. Nigerians are just as good as caucasians, and if you can employ a caucasian model to market in America or Europe then you sure as hell can employ a Nigerian model to market to Nigerians. Otherwise you can keep your bloody service and Nigerians will pay someone who respects us.

Nonsense and Ingredient

Resolution and Nigerian Fiction

Haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am feeling SO much better. Thank you so much everyone that emailed me to cheer me up and thank you to everyone that gave encouragement on the last post. I spoke to my professor and I explained everything to him and he understood. I still failed the exam, but it's okay. There is still a chance to turn my grades around and I've decided that even though I worked very hard in this class, I can still work harder.

It doesn't mean that I don't feel bad about having failed the exam, because I still do and after the test I went to the library, lay down on the floor behind a stack of books and had a good cry, but I'll just let my unhappiness over it serve as a reminder to me not to slack for any reason. Besides, there were lots of silver linings this week. I might have failed my Calculus exam but I got a 98 on my Management exam and I did pretty well on my international marketing exam, so I guess I have that to be thankful for.

And as for feeling like a failure... well it's the truth. I do feel like a failure sometimes. I wonder sometimes if taking the traditional path would not be easier and less taxing on my sanity. I realise this is not a good mindset to operate under and I'm doing my best to fix it. I suppose this is part of growing up and finding yourself and who you really are and who you're supposed to be and how you fit into the world. I accept that I have the tendency to be very pessimistic and cast dark clouds of gloom and doom over everything (hey, even my blog template suits my personality perfectly) but I'm trying to pull myself out of that and let a little more sunshine into my life. So again, thanks, because you reminded me of all the reasons I have to be happy and that meant a lot to me.

Either way, I can't be unhappy any longer because I'm going out to dinner with some friends tomorrow night, and best of all, MY COPICS ARE ARRIVING ON MONDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know what I'm wearing to dinner tomorrow. I don't have anything to wear!!! And Mellowyel doesn't live nearby so I can't steal anything from her. =(

In other news, I'm almost done setting up the Nigerian Fiction website!! =D I still have to get the home page done, but I've practically finished everything else and  I really like it. The current look of the site is going to change over time as we settle into things and I get more ideas, but in the mean time, start pulling out and compiling all your old stories because Nigerian Fiction is going live at the beginning of summer!!!

As a refresher let me reiterate what Nigerian Fiction is about.

Nigerian Fiction is an online fiction writing and reading community for stories that are either set in Nigeria or that have Nigerian protagonists (main characters). The aim of Nigerian fiction is to bring together in one place Nigerian writers and stories of every kind, length, genre, and persuasion, and to give readers and lovers of Nigerian characters and fiction a place to indulge in the pleasure of great literature.

I hope that people will allow themselves to be as free as possible with their creativity because while Nigeria has produced some great writers, there is no doubt that the general scope of Nigerian writing out there is very, very, narrow. I hope that soon after its launch Nigerian Fiction will be thrumming with inspired writers churning out Nigerian literature of every possible genre, and perhaps even generate a few new genres and maybe a couple of online literary stars.

Anyone will be able to read the stories (but stories rated T, M, and MA will be viewable only to logged in members of the appropriate age) but only members will be able to review (comment on) stories. Also, any member will be able to write and upload stories as well as have favourite authors and stories and receive email updates when their favourite stories are updated.

Finally there will be quarterly awards (four times a year) to celebrate great writers on the site. Contenders for the awards will be nominated by members and winners will be announced onsite and have their stories featured as well as receive an award banner to display on their profile. (You also automatically get a challenge banner for participating in any of the writing challenges whether you win or not - People like to collect banners)

I'm excited!! I hope everyone is as excited as I am. All you writers, whether budding, aspiring, terrible, or professional, get ready!!!! It's time for us to tell Nigeria's stories.

Oh, btw. I'm trying to come up with a good slogan for the site. The Ndebe Project's slogan is pretty cool don't you think? "Igbo Rocks! Go Forth and Speak It!"

If anyone has any ideas I'm all ears. Something short, sweet, cool, and perhaps Nigerian.

So again, thank you all!!!!!!!! You glued my wings back on! And here's a picture of me smiling to prove it.

Look not at the untidy room behind me but focus on my joyous face

What Happened

Okay, I am ready to talk about this. I think.

I had a Calculus exam. I studied like hell for the exam. I did an allnighter as well (and then ended up passing out near morning and waking up thirty minutes to the end of the exam). Of course I got to the exam room fifteen minutes to the end. It was basically a disaster.  My professor took pity on me and offered to let me take the exam later in the evening at 5pm. I had an extra six hours to study.

I studied. I really did. I had two classes in between that and the exam time but I didn't even look up during any of them. I just spent both classes with my math book on my lap doing practice questions furiously in a notebook.

You'd think that after all this diligence I would have at least been able to scrape a decent score. It's not like I didn't know what I was supposed to do. For the first time in my life on a math exam I actually knew what every question was about. I knew what I was supposed to do, I wrote out all my formulas, everything in pencil before doing the actual calculations in pen.

I knew what I was supposed to do, but somehow I couldn't make what I knew and the questions fit. I must have tried each question a thousand times and a thousand different ways but somehow it just.wouldn't. work. I had two hours to write the exam, extremely generous considering that other people only had an hour and a half to write theirs and they didn't have the distinction of arriving one hour late for class like me. The paper was covered in calculations... but no answers. No answers because for some reason no matter which way I turned it, none of the calculations or formulas would fit. I knew what to do, I just couldn't figure out how to get there.

It feels terrible. I feel stupid. I hate exams like this because you come out feeling like a cretin. Like somehow you missed out on the basic intelligence sweepstakes. If I hadn't studied I wouldn't feel even half bad because I'd be able to say "I failed because I did not study", but I did. And that is what makes it even more bewildering and frustrating and disappointing. I honestly feel really, really, stupid.

I mean, I'll be realistic here. I am not good at math. If I had a choice I wouldn't have anything to do with math of any sort. Calculations of any kind have never been my strong point and I really hate the sciences. I'll admit that much. It's very obvious where my natural strengths lie and that's within the Arts. My natural weaknesses are calculations and pure sciences. Social sciences, literature, languages, etc are all things I am really good at. No shame in that. But since we're being honest, I'll just talk about what I can do when confronted with math and science.

I am able, and I know this because I spent six years in that hellhole people like to call boarding school, I am able to do exceptionally well in math and the sciences, however, I must work for it. I am not one of those people that waltzes into Physics class and comes out nodding my head. The favourite past time of my Physics and Chemistry teachers was predicting to the class that I would undoubtedly fail both of their subjects in WAEC (I didn't, I ended up getting Bs). The fact that I got an A in WAEC math surprised both me and my Math teacher, but the point is this: I may not have to study at all to get A's in all other non-science subjects, but at least I do acknowledge that without studying I will undoubtedly fail math and if I study hard I should at the very least pass.

And that's why I feel like shit. Because I studied so hard and put everything into it and I couldn't write anything. I couldn't. I knew what the answers should have been but I couldn't make them work. And I tried and tried and kept trying until the time ran out and I had to turn in my paper with nothing on it. At least the scrap paper that I turned in as well has evidence that I tried. But it won't make a difference.

This is probably one of the worst exams I have ever written in my entire academic career. And I have written quite a few like it but the common theme with all of them is the overwhelming feeling of hopelessness when you realise there's absolutely nothing you can write and the shame of knowing that yet again, you have failed.

So thank you all for trying to make me feel better. I don't necessarily feel better about it per se, but I'm going to move on because I can't really do anything about it. If worst comes to absolute worst, I will have to withdraw from the class - one more admission of failure, but I'll deal with that bridge when I get there. If I can't turn my grades in this class around then I'll be forced to withdraw and repeat it. The thought of repeating a class makes me feel like even more of a loser but we'll see. I have to go to class tomorrow. I don't want to. I really hate walking into that class knowing that my performance is abysmal. It's even more frustrating because this is my last math class and I wish math would just fucking let me be.

I am not a math person. I do not enjoy calculus even a tiny bit. There is no joy to be found in formulas or calculations. None for me. I just want to get this over with and be done with it, but I've worked so hard that I would be shattered if this class ruined my gpa for all my other classes. I honestly cannot foresee a time in the future when knowing how to derive the derivative of another derivative could ever be of any kind of benefit to my life and I wish I did not have to learn this crap because it is just going to go where all the other Stuff-You-Learned-In-School-But-Will-Never-Use-In-Life goes.

Great, writing this post just made me want to cry. I'm tired of being a failure. I'm tired of being laughed at because I don't fit the traditional model of the shining perfect Nigerian daughter. I'm not perfect. In fact, I am highly imperfect. We can't even begin to discuss my long litany of imperfections so I'm not going to bother. I feel torn between two worlds: One in which I try to tell myself it's okay to fail sometimes and another where all I ever hear inside is how stupid I must be if people younger than me can accomplish something I can't.

I want to give this up. I really really do. I don't want to have to take this class. I despise the fact that I have to go to class tomorrow. I hate that I will have to walk into that class and try again...again. I just want to not have to do it.

But I must. You have to do what you have to do. Even if you feel like shitty crud doing it.

p.s. the guy sitting behind me just got some really bad news. He screamed and stood up and then started crying. He's a grown man so I really doubt he'd cry for anything short of a really crap deal. I said a quick prayer for whatever it was to turn out okay, but from the little I caught it seems really bad (like someone died or is missing bad). I really really hope not. He's a really nice guy. Life is hard enough without shit happening. Please God, let it be okay for him. Thanks.

So yeah, that's what happened. I suppose I won't always feel this way. And I suppose a day will come when I'll be free to tell Calculus 'up yours', but right now it just feels like one more insurmountable thing that I can't do and what's worse, it's threatening to ruin all my hard work in all the other classes I'm taking (International Marketing for instance).

Every Guy I Have Ever Been With

Has been ashamed to hold my hand, to tell his friends he's with me, to acknowledge our relationship in public. Every term, I tell myself I'm going to get a 4.0. In the end I find myself struggling to scrape by. I study just as hard and harder but nothing seems to work and I'm stupid because I kept hoping that somehow it would be different. Somehow, I hoped desperately that it would be different here, there, anywhere, somehow. It never is different. Once again I'm back where I've always been. I should be used to this. I am used to this. It's fine. I guess. I suppose it only hurts because I dared to hope one more time like the fool I am. If I had just buried all my fucking hopes at least it wouldn't hurt. I'd still be numb inside.I hate this feeling. I hate wondering if it will ever be okay, wondering if the day will  ever come when I don't stand here fighting creeping shame... humiliated again. It's been this way for so long I should be used to it. And yet it pleases my stupid fucked up soul to hope. I guess I hope because deep down inside I desperately want things to be different. Deep down inside I want someone, anyone to just be proud of me for once. Stupid me. Everyone deals with the hand they've been dealt. Only God knows what previous shit I'm paying for now. I am such a fucking fraud. Why? Because I'm a loser but deep down inside sometimes when I'm alone staving off the tears from a hollow orgasm that only serves to remind me that I'm choosing to be alone rather than bear the passions of another man that won't even look at me as he spills into me though the whisper of his name on my lips is as a fervent prayer, I like to let myself dream that maybe someday I could be a winner. Someday. Bullshit. What do I know about winning? I who have been bottom and last and an afterthought in and of everything? I don't know shit about winning but I do know a whole lot about losing. A whole damn lot. I know failure like I know Bakura's body. And you know what? Maybe that's what all my stupid false hope was about. At least I'm fucking good at falling short of everyone's expectations, even my pretty low ones. Maybe there is hope after all... I fucking win at failing.

Week Mashup II

A lot has gone on this week and I haven't blogged since Monday. I've just been really busy and I haven't been able to do much besides replying comments.

So, first up, I submitted the Economic Analysis of Nigeria (for the Nigerian project) on Monday and I got the results back. Once again, my group members were rather disappointing although it seems that the stern talking to I gave the Belgians got through to (at least one of) them. The American however, turning in his usual level of mediocre work all culled from one source (the CIA website). I ended up staying up till 6am re-writing majority of the project like I had to do the last time, and I was still typing down to thirty minutes before the class was supposed to start, but thanks to Loyola and the inhuman academic superpowers it instilled in me that only come out during moments of extreme pressure, I managed to complete the project, print and staple and run to class by the skin of my teeth. (That was a big Whew! Thank you God moment seriously).

I got an email with the results a couple of days after. Long story short, we were the highest in the class... AGAIN!!!!!!!!!

Needless to say, I'm pleased as punch!! =D

As far as my weight goes, I've had a pretty good week. I've managed to keep myself from regaining the weight I lost on the master cleanse and I've been to the gym. I decided to forgo the treadmill because it hurts my knees so instead I do the exercise bike for about an hour and a half. I'm also doing sit-ups plus I'm trying to eat as balanced (and minimal) a diet as I possibly can. Today I had cauliflower and broccoli for lunch and grapes for dinner. 

I've also got mangoes which are teh shiznit.

I managed to get a lot of drawing in this week, and while I didn't do much writing I skimmed through a lot of historical anthropological books on Igbo culture and society so I collected a lot of background information for my story. Based on the research I have done so far, I've realised that I'll have to completely rewrite that problematic first scene where the twins are born. I got the major parts right - giving birth outside (in a tent if you need shelter), the midwife, giving birth squatting, etc. However, I got the part about the twins' father being able to see them immediately wrong. Birthings are completely prohibited to Igbo men (not even dibias are allowed to attend a birth) and fathers don't see their wives or newborns until FOUR days later. Plus, I completely left out a whole host of ceremonies and rituals that accompany the birth not to mention the fact (like everyone so helpfully pointed out) that I know nothing about what it's like to actually give birth so my entire description of the actual birth was wrong.

I'll try really hard to write as much as possible next week though. Here are the drawings I managed.

Well well well.... if it isn't our favourite Ogbanje Prince

Drawing a bigger version of him on newsprint

Inking almost done

Inking complete.

I know...

=D

Twice as nice.

(I still have to keep practising him until I get him completely right and until I can draw him over and over again)

*************

Other drawings I did:

Heh heh heh!! Sorry but I couldn't resist =D

Colouring almost complete

Behold:  Mallam Yero 

(I gave him a long beard though)

=D

I'm almost done designing the new Dinka collection for summer

I decided (based on Solomon Sydelle's request) to do little Nigerian girls as well as little Nigerian boys

This is one of the girls (I haven't drawn her clothes yet)

I made one little girl with afro puffs and then I decided to make another with my all time favourite childhood hairstyle: 

Double Shuku

=D

Memories!!!!!!!

Totally off-point: I have waaaaay too many magazines

Know now that I am a gamer

And these are the tools of my trade

I feel like a Cultural Bandit

I have a Japanese calligraphy set...

...which I use to do Igbo calligraphy.

Isn't my Ano* set pretty?

*Ano is the name of that particular character in the Ndebe script.

Master Cleanse: First Day of Food

I completed the Ease Out for the Master Cleanse last night so today was meant to be my first day of eating normal food.

Let me share a little bit of wisdom. If you think the Master Cleanse is hard, you don't know anything yet. Getting out of the Master Cleanse is TEN TIMES HARDER than doing the Cleanse itself. Today was HELL! You hear that? HELL I said!

I started out the day pretty okay. I had a small bowl of soup. Half way into my soup I decided to nibble one of those little crackers you always get with your soup.

First of all, I COULD NOT SWALLOW. I literally had to FORCE that chewed up cracker down my throat. Not more than one minute after swallowing that little cracker, my heart began to pound really fast and then my hands began to shake. I was really scared. I'm serious. I was so freaking scared. It felt like there was something wrong with me and my head felt all fuzzy. I basically said a quick prayer and was like "God, I can't die now, I have to submit my Economic Analysis. Please don't let me die!".

About an hour and a half later I was feeling much better. The only thing was I was still feeling quite weak and I wasn't sure whether it was because I didn't have enough calories in my system or because my body was rejecting food. Either way I was scared shitless. I didn't know whether to eat or to not eat. I decided to compromise by eating yoghurt.  The yoghurt went down really easily with no complaints from my body so I felt a lot better. I planned to pace myself with food and eat many small meals throughout the day to kick start my metabolism.

About four hours later I drank a small can of V8 vegetable juice which had about 30 calories. However, in the middle of class I started feeling weak again so I got a cup of hot chocolate with whipped cream and sipped it slowly. 

A couple of hours later I had some chili (beans and ground meat) and chicken but I couldn't finish it. I only managed a few forkfuls before I couldn't eat anymore. I wasn't full, I just could not eat anything solid any more. Plus I had to chew each mouthful for two full minutes to make sure everything had turned to absolute liquid before I could swallow it. Any attempts to swallow anything even remotely solid just ended in choking and wanting to throw up.

I think I did pretty well. Somewhere it occurred to me that this might be what babies feel like when they get weaned. Learning to eat solid foods again after subsisting on practically nothing for two weeks feels terrible. Even the smell of any food makes me feel very ill. 

Today I tried to get a small meal in every food group so I had soup (carbs, fats and oil), chili and soft boneless chicken (proteins), yoghurt, (good bacteria), hot chocolate (carbs), V8 (vegetables). I didn't get every group but I'm about to take a multivitamin so that will cover my vitamins. I also had one or two grapes a while back so that gets fruits.

But yeah, this whole eating food business is not cute. I don't think I have ever hated food this much in my life. Hopefully tomorrow will be much better. I was going to start exercising today, but now that I've seen what the weaning process is like I  think I'm going to wait until next week before I start the heavy exercise in earnest. I'm currently doing sit-ups (some people call them crunches) but that's all I'll do for this week until I can walk about and eat or smell food without feeling physically ill. 

And that's all.

Off to colour with my Copics!! Yay!!!!

Update: Okay, it's official: I fucking LOVE my Copic markers!!!

At this rate I'll start colouring people when they're asleep or something. I'm totally addicted!!!

Yay!! I'm improving!! I'm improving!!!!!

=D

Master Cleanse Days 13 and 14: The End of the Diet

Unfortunately I have had to cut my Master Cleanse short due to a very foolish mistake I made. I had been planning to continue the cleanse for at least 17 days but I have decided to end it after only 14 days. Since I already completed the 10 day minimum I don't see this as quitting or giving up. I achieved everything I set out to accomplish with this cleanse and I am pretty proud of myself.

What happened was, I ran out of Cayenne pepper and unwilling to buy more I thought I could substitute it with Mexican Chili Powder. What I didn't know was that while the Cayenne Pepper is pure pepper, the chili powder I have contains among other things salt. So I ended up drinking eight doses of salt and some other ingredients with my lemonade (which tasted horrible by the way) without knowing although the taste should have warned me that something was wrong.

Long story short, I got sick because of it. I wasn't majorly ill or anything or even very ill but I've decided that erring on the side of caution is the safest way to go, especially since I haven't eaten for two weeks meaning that I am in no shape to fight off anything even remotely moderately serious.

It was based on this that I decided to prematurely end my Master Cleanse.

So, now that I've ended the diet, how do I feel?

I feel great. Once I got past the first three days I started feeling really good. I feel so much lighter, much healthier and much happier than I did when I first started the cleanse. I feel cleaner inside and out. My face is a lot smoother now and most of my pimples have disappeared. Also I don't have headaches like I used to (although I don't know if this will last long term).

My final weights for Days 13 and 14 are below:

Day 13

Day 14 - sorry I took this with my phone

I achieved my goal for this diet (to end the diet under 225lbs). As a whole, I lost 13.8lbs (approximately 14 pounds or 6.5 kilogrammes). My stomach and body in general also look significantly smaller. Of course, I'm still overweight, but the point of this diet was not to make me magically thin, it was simply to kick start a general new regimen of healthy eating and exercise with the goal of weight loss until I reach my target weight (125lbs).

I have now begun the Ease Out process of the Master Cleanse (because you can't just start eating food again right away).

Drinking the orange juice was a strange feeling because I'm no longer used to anything but the lemonade, but it felt good although my stomach protested.

This morning I tried to eat a small grape but I have quickly found out that not only do I have no desire whatsoever for any kind of food, but eating is actually very difficult. I can chew alright but swallowing is a completely different matter. My body just doesn't want to. After I choked down about seven grapes I felt like I was going to throw up.

Over the last three hours I have managed to eat twenty little grapes and I feel incredibly full. My stomach is also yowling so I think I might have to go to the bathroom soon. If this newfound aversion to food is a lasting side effect of the Master Cleanse then I doubt I'll have any problem losing the remaining weight in the months to come.

Final verdict: 

Score out of ten: 10/10

Would I do it again?: Definitely.

Was it worth it?: Totally

You can find more information about the Master Cleanse here: Master Cleanse

Copic Insanity: A Dinka Sneak Peek

Okay, so it's official: I am Copic Crazy. I ADORE THESE MARKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Omg! Omg! Omg!!!!!! I just want Copics for my birthday like seriously! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Coooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooopppppppppics!!!

Yeah, just ignore the crazy girl.

So, after I did my initial colouring, I couldn't sleep. In the 24 hours that I have owned my Copics I have learned very quickly that Copics work best when you colour really fast and over small areas.

I was itching for something to colour.

First I did a back drawing of Bilili (the courtesan from my story =D) and as I suspected, her colouring came out beautifully (because the drawing was small).

Bilili.... from the back

Inked

Cleaned and starting to colour skin

Just need to colour her hair.

Unfortunately I don't own a black Copic Marker...yet

But I still couldn't sleep, so I headed over to Solomon Sydelle's blog and I read the post about her kids and the tiger and it was so funny and cute and adorable (Solomon Sydelle's kids and their antics make for incredibly cute blogposts). Every time I read her posts I imagine these cute little Yoruba kids playing and tormenting everyone. (Cuteness!!!)

So I am working on a collection for Dinka that will be out in the summer. It's going to be Chibi themed, and I was wondering where to start. I was going to do drawings for Igbo, Hausa, Yoruba, and Tiv  but I wasn't sure where to start. Also I didn't have the all the colours I need so I was wondering what I could do with the colours I had. The post on Solomon Sydelle's blog pretty much made me decide to start with Yoruba. I remember how excited she got over the Yoruba boots I dug up from some museum so I'm guessing she'll like this. I decided to draw a cute little Yoruba boy. I have never drawn children seriously before. I only drew a baby in JS3 for my Art Junior WAEC and I drew a young boy a few weeks ago but that's it. I've been desperate to try Chibi but I wasn't sure I could pull it off.

Sha sha... if at first you don't succeed.....

Pencil and some ink

Completely inked

Adding my signature =D

Lines drawn

Colouring skin

Colouring Agbada

Clothes completed

About to put on finishing touches

Isn't he cute?

A little Yoruba boy for Solomon Sydelle and her kids

=D

If you're curious about the rest, once they're done and I've put them on t-shirts I'll show everyone.

Update: I did another colouring!! Yay!!!!

If you're wondering why all my drawings are green, yellow, brown, and blue, it's because those are the only colours I have.

I'm hoping to get more Copics soon.

Master Cleanse Days 11 and 12

Yay!!! My Camera is back in business. Last year I had to stop using my camera because I stepped on the memory card and broke it (losing all my wonderful summer pictures in the process too!! *sob*) but I got a new memory card (courtesy of a very nice person) so now I can take pictures again!!!

So like I said in the audio post, I'm continuing my Master Cleanse until my ingredients run out. I already ran out of Cayenne Pepper so I substituted with Mexican Chili Powder instead, which I am never going to do again (it's horrible). I have to find Cayenne pepper quickly because I can't drink the lemonade without it (it tastes too much like lemonade and I can't stand lemonade).

My final weight for Day 11 (taken this morning - Day 12)

In other news, *drums roll please* I got my very first ever COPICS!!!!!!!!

Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Copics are markers. Yes you heard right. You use them to colour on paper. But here's the thing though. Copics are very special markers because they are what all the professional mangaka use. They go on very smoothly and they don't leave streaks or lines (if you know how to use them). I've been dying to get some but not only are they very expensive but they are very numerous (there are about 400-1000 of them in all sorts of different colours) so of course you can see how these markers are special because only a professional (and very rich) comic, animation, or manga artist would be able to afford them.

My COPICS!!!!! (oh, and my Master Cleanse lemonade too )

If you're wondering then how I, a humble college student with limited funds was able to purchase such exquisite high-end markers, fear not. I did not resort to criminal activities of any kind (although I have heard that there are people that steal Copics). Copics can be bought in sets (which will cost you an arm and a leg) or they can be bought individually (which will still cost you, only a lot less).

The general advice for buying Copics if you're not Veronica Lodge is to buy them one by one and build up the collection over a number of years. (Yes, I said Y-E-A-R-S).

Sha, today I went out and got six Copics. You're advised to get the colours for skin first so that's what I got. Although they didn't have all the skin shades in the store I went to which disappointed me. Nevertheless, I still had an awesome time this afternoon. There are only two kinds of stores that can fill me with unassailable joy besides Barnes and Nobles/Borders - Starbucks, and Art Stores. Between Art stores and Barnes and Nobles I'm not sure which one I love more.

Nigerians in colour, here we come!!

Anyway, I also picked up some books from the art store. I would have liked to stay longer but I had to run out prematurely for fear of bankrupting myself.

Because I want to draw dark creepy stuff

Because I need to learn how to do expressions

In addition to all the other things I have to read and learn

I have a lot of books.

I have an illegal number of books.

My birthday is in 17 days.

Maybe someone should get me an e-reader so I can stop renting out whole U-Hauls just to store my ungodly volumes of books.

Hi Mom!! (*Hint*Hint*)

My room is such a mess. I have art stuff and books everywhere. I generally try my best to keep my room nice and tidy but for the past couple of days I've been really busy so I haven't been able to keep on top of things.

Yeah, I know.

Yay! It's my drawing model! =D

I have this one drawer where I store all my drawing materials

Unfortunately my art stuff has taken over the rest of the room

I've been working on the Nigerian Fiction website.

Yes, that is a sewing machine.

So if you were wondering (from the last post) why I take a yard stick to the bathroom with me, here's the answer.

This is the light switch of my favourite bathroom in the dorm.

It's one of those eco-friendly light switches (meaning that it will turn itself off after a set period of time - based on the assumption that noone is using the light - in this case: 15 minutes)

The problem is: The Fireshit Flush makes you sit on the toilet for TWO HOURS

Also, the actual toilet is nowhere near the light switch.

Which means that every 15 minutes I have to get up from the toilet and go reset the light when the one minute warning goes off.

This would be all nice and gravy and everything except for the fact that I have diarrhoea. 

Since I have no desire to splatter uncontrollable liquid poo all over the floor as I make my way to the light switch, I came up with a solution to the problem.

Meet my yard stick: The solution to my problem

(yes, that is my laptop on the floor)

Necessity is the mother of invention.

No standing up needed.

Now back to the Copics. I was really excited to try out my Copics although just having Copics doesn't mean that your colouring is going to be great. You have to actually know what you're doing and you have to understand basic artistic concepts like light and shade to be able to colour like a professional. I understand all the basic art concepts since I did art in Loyola (at least until I was forced to switch to the Dreaded Physics) but I've never coloured seriously with markers before so I definitely didn't expect my work to be perfect.

I did hope it would be good however. I also watched a couple of tutorial videos on YouTube about how to use Copics properly. 

I chose this particular drawing because it's not an original composition of mine (only the head is my original creation) so I wouldn't feel bad if I ended up destroying it.

Cleaned up (pencil lines and shading erased)

Flat colouring.

As you can see I'm not that good. 

It's so streaky and all my lines are very visible.

I hope to improve with time and practice.

I pulled up a photo of the pencil work on my laptop as a shading reference

Initial shading done and flat colouring of the hair with some shading

I dunno, I think the pencil work looks sexier

But still not bad for my first try

It could have been worse....much worse

Final product. 

Nipples darkened.

Very streaky, but I'm still proud of it.

Yay!! My first colouring EVER!!!!!!!

NOTE: Once again, this is NOT my original artwork, only THE HEAD belongs to me. I simply drew this from someone else's artwork for PRACTICE purposes - to improve my own skills.

The ORIGINAL can be found here: Lolita Art on DeviantArt

P.S. Eccentric Yoruba has a new blog! I don't know what happened to her Blogger but I kept going there stupidly until it occurred to me that she wasn't updating but I was seeing her online regularly.