Hey everyone! Sorry but I've been really out of it for the past week, especially this weekend. A bunch of people sent me emails and some people requested commissions so if you're one of those people I haven't replied but I've seen your email and I'll reply shortly.....right after I finish my homework.
Happy Monday!!
xoxo
Sugabelly
Monday, January 31, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
A Field Guide to Igbo Bride Price and Dowry
The topic of Bride Price suddenly crossed my mind this afternoon and I decided to randomly google it. Being Nigerian and Igbo, I am intimately familiar with the tradition, as well as the many critcisms of it.
For those who don't know what I'm talking about, Bride Price refers to an indeterminate amount of wealth (in material goods, cash, and services) that the groom-to-be gives to the family of his bride-to-be as a symbol of his estimation for his bride.
It is NOT (as the Western media would have you believe) the purchasing of a woman. In fact, like many many gross misconceptions about our culture, 90% of the reason why people think this is because the British who reported about the custom with their limited understanding of it labelled it Bride PRICE (as if the Bride is a product at a supermarket that you can buy for a certain Price). Not only has this cast negative aspersions on this aspect of our culture, but the general misinformation about it has also emboldened men with little understanding of the culture to misinteprete it and use it as an excuse to abuse their wives. Another prime example of how British mislabeling has altered the world (and Nigerian ) perception of our culture - Fattening Rooms. Thanks to the word FATTENING, almost everyone now has an incorrect idea of their purpose. (I could go into a rant about this, but that's a post for another day).
On the surface it would appear that every woman should be the fierce opponent of bride price, especially considering how it has been portrayed in the world media and the way uneducated (and even educated) Nigerian men view it but to be honest, I think it is a beautiful part of our culture and should be practised PROPERLY rather than twisted and abused.
I've heard a lot of Nigerian men spout rubbish to their wives along the lines of "I paid for you/I paid your bride price so I can beat you, or you can't question me, etc". This is absolute nonsense. No man in any of our cultures which practise BP can "pay" for a woman. BP is not a payment; it is a token, a symbol. It is annoying to hear about miseducated and unscrupulous people holding out their daughters for auction to the highest bidder. BP is meant to be undertaken only by woman's intended, not by a flock of suitors vying to pay the highest amount.
In Igbo culture, no matter how high the BP a groom gives, it is always considered as exactly half of what he intends to give. One half is given before the wedding, and the other half is given upon the death of his wife. The idea is that the first half is a material expression of his esteem for his wife, with respect to her family for their combined efforts and care which turned her into the person that she is, and the second half is again an expression of love and esteem for his wife, in gratitude for the opportunity to live his life with her as his wife and to cover her burial expenses (as an Igbo woman is always buried with her people - well at least that's what's supposed to happen although modern inconveniences might mean this is not always possible).
The idea that BP demeans women because the man is 'buying' the woman is ridiculous and untrue but unfortunately thanks to lack of education, many Nigerian men now believe that this is what BP is and act accordingly. Nigerian men are in sore need of reorientation about what BP really is. In our culture BP does not give a man any right over a woman. Just as a western man buys an expensive engagement ring for his intended as a symbol of his love for his intended so too does an Igbo man give BP to his intended's family to show the magnitude of his love/respect/desire for her. And just as an engagement ring and wedding ring does not give a man any power over a woman, neither does BP give a man any power over a woman.
Anyone who believes or argues otherwise is just trying to use BP to bolster their male chauvinism and sexism. Don't let them. If you are from a culture that practises BP, any man who loves you should be more than happy to give the highest BP possible for you. I cannot understand how women can shudder at the thought of receiving $5 million BP but would salivate over a $5 million diamond platinum engagement ring. Maybe it's my inner Okoro talking but as far as I am concerned, they are both the same thing. If you argue that the man is buying you with $5 million then he is equally buying you with a $5 million engagement ring. At the end of the day it's all an exchange. He gets you as his wife, you get five million. Why does it matter if the five million is in the form of shiny jewelry or in cash (or lace, or yams, or whatever)? Logically, anyone ethically opposed to receiving BP should also be ethically opposed to engagement rings, yet the western media approaches BP with an air of condescension, derision, or alarm. It's all bullshit. Same script, different actors.
BP should not be used as a means for extortion. It is wrong for families to use BP as an excuse to suck the groom-to-be dry. At the same time, if a man intends to present BP, it is extremely disrespectful for it to be low (and by low, I mean low relative to the man's economic circumstances. If you are poor don't go and borrow money for BP o! Don't say I told you to!). That being said it is perfectly acceptable for the bride's family to demand a certain minimum if they think the man's BP proposal is disrespectfully or insultingly low. Remember, the object of presenting BP is NOT for the Bride's family to make money but for the groom to make a material statement of the vaulted position of his wife.
It is also okay if a man declines to present BP (although it is rather insulting), but if as a man you fear that you do not have the means to put on a proper display then the correct thing to do is to skip the BP part entirely. That way you will save face both for yourself, your family, and most importantly, your bride. BP is not a competition either. Just because another woman's BP was much much larger than her friend's does not mean that her friend is somehow worth less, or less beautiful, or special or deserving. This is another common misconception about BP that makes it appear sexist. BP is NOT a ranking of women. The size/amount of a woman's BP is simply a function of her husband's finances. Full stop. It is nothing more and nothing less. It is extremely rude to insinuate that one woman is better than another based on the size of their respective BP.
Now the technical details. BP can be presented in any number of forms. It can be all monetary, all material goods, all services rendered (although this is very rare), or a mix of all three. Personally, I think a mix of all three is the best way to go, and here's why.
An all monetary presentation tends to reinforce the negative stereotypes about BP because it greatly resembles a commercial transaction.
An all material goods gift is a pretty good way to go in any scenario. It's practical, useful, and depending on what it is (e.g. if it's mostly fabric, gold jewelry, food crops, animals, etc) a large portion of it will most likely end up going to the bride.
All services rendered is probably the worst option because more often than not this involves devoting precious years of your life working in some way for the bride's family. Avoid this option if possible.
A mix of all three is the second best option because the services you provide are reduced in duration but are a valuable opportunity to bond with the bride's family in addition to the rest of the BP that you provide.
Personally, I think the correct modern day etiquette for presenting BP is that it should always be at the very least three times the amount of the most expensive car you would ever plan to buy according to your means. This is something the man should provide of his own free will and it should ALWAYS be a freely given expression of love and respect for his wife not extorted under duress. And because it is freely given, any man intending to present BP should put his back into it and make a good show. When it comes to BP, go big or go home, and if you can't don't even go at all. There's no shame in skipping it. There is MORE shame in doing it and then presenting fucking one naira. That is where the insult lies.
Now I'd like to talk about Dowry. A lot of people confuse BP with Dowry much to my eternal frustration. Dowry and BP are direct opposites of each other and many Nigerian cultures (Igbo included) practise BOTH. Just as a man presents BP to a woman's family, a woman's family presents dowry. The key difference is that BP goes directly to the woman's family while Dowry enters the man's family indirectly because the Dowry is given to the woman/bride and is completely her own property but will obviously indirectly benefit the man's family as she is their in-law.
Similar rules apply to Dowry as to BP, although my inner Okoro tells me that the rules on Dowry are not as stringent. Typically, preparation for a woman's dowry should begin from birth. Ideally it should consist of money (loads and loads of it if possible - sorry, I think Okoro is taking over again), items that will be useful to her in setting up a household (e.g. furniture, homegoods, etc), jewelry (again, loads of beautiful, quality pieces, the older and more inherited the better - coral, gold, and ivory are a MUST but if you don't have any inherited ivory in your family, coral and gold will suffice. If you don't have any gold, there MUST be coral involved - sorry). If the new family is going to be the domestic type, you might want to throw in plots of land, houses, and domestic animals (ideally cows, rams - if you're from the north -, goats, chickens - and if you're from certain parts of Igbo land, horses should also be included). Numerous bolts of uncut fabric should also be included in the dowry (with special emphasis on fine lace, lots of ankara, akwete, and abada). All fabric should be tastefully selected with care, and custom or family designs are even better. Other miscellaneous things are fun to add to a dowry (e.g. artwork, businesses, etc) but the point of the whole thing is to set your daughter up as well as you possibly can for her new life.
And before I forget, although I compared the symbolism of BP to that of an engagement ring, BP and engagement rings do not serve the same function. In Igbo culture, the official mark of engagement is one ivory anklet and when the marriage is completed, a second ivory anklet is added. Of course, thanks to poachers, ivory is pretty hard to come by these days (not to mentioned frowned upon). However, if your intended presents you with an inherited ivory anklet, squeal in excitement and present your leg immediately. If on the other hand he presents you with a new ivory anklet, beat him on the head with your shoe and call the World Wildlife Fund. Poachers are evil, sick people.
I think I'm going to rewrite this post later because it feels a bit disjointed to me. It's meant to be taken a bit humourously but remember a lot of truth is said in jest. I just felt like Bride Price (ugh! I HATE that name) gets a bad rap in the world and I think it's a beautiful part of our culture that is too often misunderstood and misused and I just wanted to put that out there.
Cheers!!
For those who don't know what I'm talking about, Bride Price refers to an indeterminate amount of wealth (in material goods, cash, and services) that the groom-to-be gives to the family of his bride-to-be as a symbol of his estimation for his bride.
It is NOT (as the Western media would have you believe) the purchasing of a woman. In fact, like many many gross misconceptions about our culture, 90% of the reason why people think this is because the British who reported about the custom with their limited understanding of it labelled it Bride PRICE (as if the Bride is a product at a supermarket that you can buy for a certain Price). Not only has this cast negative aspersions on this aspect of our culture, but the general misinformation about it has also emboldened men with little understanding of the culture to misinteprete it and use it as an excuse to abuse their wives. Another prime example of how British mislabeling has altered the world (and Nigerian ) perception of our culture - Fattening Rooms. Thanks to the word FATTENING, almost everyone now has an incorrect idea of their purpose. (I could go into a rant about this, but that's a post for another day).
On the surface it would appear that every woman should be the fierce opponent of bride price, especially considering how it has been portrayed in the world media and the way uneducated (and even educated) Nigerian men view it but to be honest, I think it is a beautiful part of our culture and should be practised PROPERLY rather than twisted and abused.
I've heard a lot of Nigerian men spout rubbish to their wives along the lines of "I paid for you/I paid your bride price so I can beat you, or you can't question me, etc". This is absolute nonsense. No man in any of our cultures which practise BP can "pay" for a woman. BP is not a payment; it is a token, a symbol. It is annoying to hear about miseducated and unscrupulous people holding out their daughters for auction to the highest bidder. BP is meant to be undertaken only by woman's intended, not by a flock of suitors vying to pay the highest amount.
In Igbo culture, no matter how high the BP a groom gives, it is always considered as exactly half of what he intends to give. One half is given before the wedding, and the other half is given upon the death of his wife. The idea is that the first half is a material expression of his esteem for his wife, with respect to her family for their combined efforts and care which turned her into the person that she is, and the second half is again an expression of love and esteem for his wife, in gratitude for the opportunity to live his life with her as his wife and to cover her burial expenses (as an Igbo woman is always buried with her people - well at least that's what's supposed to happen although modern inconveniences might mean this is not always possible).
The idea that BP demeans women because the man is 'buying' the woman is ridiculous and untrue but unfortunately thanks to lack of education, many Nigerian men now believe that this is what BP is and act accordingly. Nigerian men are in sore need of reorientation about what BP really is. In our culture BP does not give a man any right over a woman. Just as a western man buys an expensive engagement ring for his intended as a symbol of his love for his intended so too does an Igbo man give BP to his intended's family to show the magnitude of his love/respect/desire for her. And just as an engagement ring and wedding ring does not give a man any power over a woman, neither does BP give a man any power over a woman.
Anyone who believes or argues otherwise is just trying to use BP to bolster their male chauvinism and sexism. Don't let them. If you are from a culture that practises BP, any man who loves you should be more than happy to give the highest BP possible for you. I cannot understand how women can shudder at the thought of receiving $5 million BP but would salivate over a $5 million diamond platinum engagement ring. Maybe it's my inner Okoro talking but as far as I am concerned, they are both the same thing. If you argue that the man is buying you with $5 million then he is equally buying you with a $5 million engagement ring. At the end of the day it's all an exchange. He gets you as his wife, you get five million. Why does it matter if the five million is in the form of shiny jewelry or in cash (or lace, or yams, or whatever)? Logically, anyone ethically opposed to receiving BP should also be ethically opposed to engagement rings, yet the western media approaches BP with an air of condescension, derision, or alarm. It's all bullshit. Same script, different actors.
BP should not be used as a means for extortion. It is wrong for families to use BP as an excuse to suck the groom-to-be dry. At the same time, if a man intends to present BP, it is extremely disrespectful for it to be low (and by low, I mean low relative to the man's economic circumstances. If you are poor don't go and borrow money for BP o! Don't say I told you to!). That being said it is perfectly acceptable for the bride's family to demand a certain minimum if they think the man's BP proposal is disrespectfully or insultingly low. Remember, the object of presenting BP is NOT for the Bride's family to make money but for the groom to make a material statement of the vaulted position of his wife.
It is also okay if a man declines to present BP (although it is rather insulting), but if as a man you fear that you do not have the means to put on a proper display then the correct thing to do is to skip the BP part entirely. That way you will save face both for yourself, your family, and most importantly, your bride. BP is not a competition either. Just because another woman's BP was much much larger than her friend's does not mean that her friend is somehow worth less, or less beautiful, or special or deserving. This is another common misconception about BP that makes it appear sexist. BP is NOT a ranking of women. The size/amount of a woman's BP is simply a function of her husband's finances. Full stop. It is nothing more and nothing less. It is extremely rude to insinuate that one woman is better than another based on the size of their respective BP.
Now the technical details. BP can be presented in any number of forms. It can be all monetary, all material goods, all services rendered (although this is very rare), or a mix of all three. Personally, I think a mix of all three is the best way to go, and here's why.
An all monetary presentation tends to reinforce the negative stereotypes about BP because it greatly resembles a commercial transaction.
An all material goods gift is a pretty good way to go in any scenario. It's practical, useful, and depending on what it is (e.g. if it's mostly fabric, gold jewelry, food crops, animals, etc) a large portion of it will most likely end up going to the bride.
All services rendered is probably the worst option because more often than not this involves devoting precious years of your life working in some way for the bride's family. Avoid this option if possible.
A mix of all three is the second best option because the services you provide are reduced in duration but are a valuable opportunity to bond with the bride's family in addition to the rest of the BP that you provide.
Personally, I think the correct modern day etiquette for presenting BP is that it should always be at the very least three times the amount of the most expensive car you would ever plan to buy according to your means. This is something the man should provide of his own free will and it should ALWAYS be a freely given expression of love and respect for his wife not extorted under duress. And because it is freely given, any man intending to present BP should put his back into it and make a good show. When it comes to BP, go big or go home, and if you can't don't even go at all. There's no shame in skipping it. There is MORE shame in doing it and then presenting fucking one naira. That is where the insult lies.
Now I'd like to talk about Dowry. A lot of people confuse BP with Dowry much to my eternal frustration. Dowry and BP are direct opposites of each other and many Nigerian cultures (Igbo included) practise BOTH. Just as a man presents BP to a woman's family, a woman's family presents dowry. The key difference is that BP goes directly to the woman's family while Dowry enters the man's family indirectly because the Dowry is given to the woman/bride and is completely her own property but will obviously indirectly benefit the man's family as she is their in-law.
Similar rules apply to Dowry as to BP, although my inner Okoro tells me that the rules on Dowry are not as stringent. Typically, preparation for a woman's dowry should begin from birth. Ideally it should consist of money (loads and loads of it if possible - sorry, I think Okoro is taking over again), items that will be useful to her in setting up a household (e.g. furniture, homegoods, etc), jewelry (again, loads of beautiful, quality pieces, the older and more inherited the better - coral, gold, and ivory are a MUST but if you don't have any inherited ivory in your family, coral and gold will suffice. If you don't have any gold, there MUST be coral involved - sorry). If the new family is going to be the domestic type, you might want to throw in plots of land, houses, and domestic animals (ideally cows, rams - if you're from the north -, goats, chickens - and if you're from certain parts of Igbo land, horses should also be included). Numerous bolts of uncut fabric should also be included in the dowry (with special emphasis on fine lace, lots of ankara, akwete, and abada). All fabric should be tastefully selected with care, and custom or family designs are even better. Other miscellaneous things are fun to add to a dowry (e.g. artwork, businesses, etc) but the point of the whole thing is to set your daughter up as well as you possibly can for her new life.
And before I forget, although I compared the symbolism of BP to that of an engagement ring, BP and engagement rings do not serve the same function. In Igbo culture, the official mark of engagement is one ivory anklet and when the marriage is completed, a second ivory anklet is added. Of course, thanks to poachers, ivory is pretty hard to come by these days (not to mentioned frowned upon). However, if your intended presents you with an inherited ivory anklet, squeal in excitement and present your leg immediately. If on the other hand he presents you with a new ivory anklet, beat him on the head with your shoe and call the World Wildlife Fund. Poachers are evil, sick people.
I think I'm going to rewrite this post later because it feels a bit disjointed to me. It's meant to be taken a bit humourously but remember a lot of truth is said in jest. I just felt like Bride Price (ugh! I HATE that name) gets a bad rap in the world and I think it's a beautiful part of our culture that is too often misunderstood and misused and I just wanted to put that out there.
Cheers!!
Questions and Answers Part 2
Good luck! I like your posts this year - you sound so much happier! I’m so glad.
Thank you!! ^_^
Hi Sugabelly. I have been following your blog for the past 4 months now and I must say you are trully a gifted artist and writer. I’d love to know how you started drawing bc I have always wanted to know how to, but quite can’t! I am able to visually hold
Thank you so much. I’m glad you like my drawings. I think artistic ability is about 40% natural ability and 60% hard work. I have always been able to draw (since I was born) but for many years I didn’t draw and then when I tried I found out that I couldn’t. I had to relearn how to draw. It was a very painful process for me but I kept at it because I have always loved drawing more than anything else. My advice would be to get some good how to books that show how to look at the body and link all the parts together mentally. I probably will do a post soon about drawing or how to draw. Look out for it!
not a question. but a comment. just want to say i discovered ur blog today and already love it. thot i was the only manga loving nigerian girl out there. plus ru work is AMAZINGLY good. u’ll definitely go far in life.
Thanks! I love manga and anime, especially Inuyasha, Hagane no, and Jigoku Shoujo!
what espescially iterests you about art
I think the fact that you can bring the ideas you see in your head to life on paper. Good art that has an interesting concept and is beautifully executed is breathtaking.
Hi Sugabelly. I have been following your blog for the past 4 months now and I must say you are trully a gifted artist and writer. I’d love to know how you started drawing bc I have always wanted to know how to, but quite can’t! I am able to visually hold
Thank you so much. I’m glad you like my drawings. I think artistic ability is about 40% natural ability and 60% hard work. I have always been able to draw (since I was born) but for many years I didn’t draw and then when I tried I found out that I couldn’t. I had to relearn how to draw. It was a very painful process for me but I kept at it because I have always loved drawing more than anything else. My advice would be to get some good how to books that show how to look at the body and link all the parts together mentally. I probably will do a post soon about drawing or how to draw. Look out for it!
not a question. but a comment. just want to say i discovered ur blog today and already love it. thot i was the only manga loving nigerian girl out there. plus ru work is AMAZINGLY good. u’ll definitely go far in life.
Thanks! I love manga and anime, especially Inuyasha, Hagane no, and Jigoku Shoujo!
what espescially iterests you about art
I think the fact that you can bring the ideas you see in your head to life on paper. Good art that has an interesting concept and is beautifully executed is breathtaking.
Please give a update on your hair. Could you show some pics, and share what products you are using?
My hair is currently in braids. After the disaster last January it fell out for most of the year so I just did some deep moisturising with Carol’s Daughter Hair Milk and put it in braids until it’s done breaking and starts growing out healthily again. I think I took some pictures when I had it out. I’ll see if I can find them and put them up.
what books did/do you use to practice your drawing techniques?
Actually I practise mostly by doing the drawing tutorials on DeviantArt. Just go to DeviantArt and type in tutorial and hundreds of them will come up. Besides that there are a lot of great books that I have.
Draw Comics with Dick Giordano really helped me and got me started. Another great book is Incredible Comics with Tom Nguyen. Of course you want to take figure drawing classes if you can and draw from live models. If you can’t take classes, just force your friends and family to pose for you. If they don’t agree, tie them up in various positions, duct tape their mouths so they can’t scream for help and draw them anyway.
A friend convinced me to blog my experiences and I just started. Its www.introducingade.blogspot.com What are the challenges i should expect?
It’s great that you’re starting a blog. Good for you! Probably the biggest challenge of blogging is writing posts that speak your mind but that are still interesting enough to engage people. That, and getting through the days when you simply cannot think of anything to blog about.
where can you be contacted?
I have a form on my blog where you can send me messages on the Contact Me page of my blog.
there is a girl i luv but she got a boyfriend
That’s really sad. I think we’ve all been in the same position before. Good luck with it. I hope it turns out okay for you. Who knows maybe some day in the future if she’s not still with her boyfriend she might end up with you.
oops sorry, i was tryin to search for that, placed it in the wrong box:)
*shaking my head*
threesome
Erm…..?
I read some of the questions…Do you ever get hurt by the comments/questions people post? Is your heart fragile?
Sometimes people can be asses but that’s life no? I ignore them when they’re just being mean.
Why dont u put up pics on ur blog?
My blog has LOADS of pictures. Are you sure you have the right blogger?
Which do you think is more likely: Love without sex or love without money?
Love without money is far more likely IMHO.
what is your opinion on virginity in women? do you think a girl who has had oral sex or anal sex but not vaginal sex is still a virgin?
Nope. Sex is sex not so?
have you seen the thisday awards list? what do you think - this is my opinion nigerianwordsmith.blogspot.com
I actually have not seen the thisday awards list so unfortunately I don’t have an opinion on it. =( …… Now that I think about it, this makes me sad.
Do you have any regrets?
Loads. But I can’t turn back time so whatever.
What is the significance of the Igbo makeup?
Erm… it’s the same as every other kind of make up out there? Sorry I don’t get the question. Igbo makeup is meant to make women look beautiful.
I know some people say “they don’t live with regrets… blah blah”, BUT if you could take back one thing/event that happened in your life, what would you change?
I would take back the whole drama with HL. I would just rather not be fighting with anybody right now. Better amiable friends than bitter lovers.
My hair is currently in braids. After the disaster last January it fell out for most of the year so I just did some deep moisturising with Carol’s Daughter Hair Milk and put it in braids until it’s done breaking and starts growing out healthily again. I think I took some pictures when I had it out. I’ll see if I can find them and put them up.
what books did/do you use to practice your drawing techniques?
Actually I practise mostly by doing the drawing tutorials on DeviantArt. Just go to DeviantArt and type in tutorial and hundreds of them will come up. Besides that there are a lot of great books that I have.
Draw Comics with Dick Giordano really helped me and got me started. Another great book is Incredible Comics with Tom Nguyen. Of course you want to take figure drawing classes if you can and draw from live models. If you can’t take classes, just force your friends and family to pose for you. If they don’t agree, tie them up in various positions, duct tape their mouths so they can’t scream for help and draw them anyway.
A friend convinced me to blog my experiences and I just started. Its www.introducingade.blogspot.com What are the challenges i should expect?
It’s great that you’re starting a blog. Good for you! Probably the biggest challenge of blogging is writing posts that speak your mind but that are still interesting enough to engage people. That, and getting through the days when you simply cannot think of anything to blog about.
where can you be contacted?
I have a form on my blog where you can send me messages on the Contact Me page of my blog.
there is a girl i luv but she got a boyfriend
That’s really sad. I think we’ve all been in the same position before. Good luck with it. I hope it turns out okay for you. Who knows maybe some day in the future if she’s not still with her boyfriend she might end up with you.
oops sorry, i was tryin to search for that, placed it in the wrong box:)
*shaking my head*
threesome
Erm…..?
I read some of the questions…Do you ever get hurt by the comments/questions people post? Is your heart fragile?
Sometimes people can be asses but that’s life no? I ignore them when they’re just being mean.
Why dont u put up pics on ur blog?
My blog has LOADS of pictures. Are you sure you have the right blogger?
Which do you think is more likely: Love without sex or love without money?
Love without money is far more likely IMHO.
what is your opinion on virginity in women? do you think a girl who has had oral sex or anal sex but not vaginal sex is still a virgin?
Nope. Sex is sex not so?
have you seen the thisday awards list? what do you think - this is my opinion nigerianwordsmith.blogspot.com
I actually have not seen the thisday awards list so unfortunately I don’t have an opinion on it. =( …… Now that I think about it, this makes me sad.
Do you have any regrets?
Loads. But I can’t turn back time so whatever.
What is the significance of the Igbo makeup?
Erm… it’s the same as every other kind of make up out there? Sorry I don’t get the question. Igbo makeup is meant to make women look beautiful.
I know some people say “they don’t live with regrets… blah blah”, BUT if you could take back one thing/event that happened in your life, what would you change?
I would take back the whole drama with HL. I would just rather not be fighting with anybody right now. Better amiable friends than bitter lovers.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Standing By...
I am going to be drawing for the next twenty hours straight.
I have a very important deadline by the end of today and until I finish all the drawings I have to complete today, I cannot leave my room or do anything else.
If anyone out there loves me, please deliver ten venti white chocolate mochas from Starbucks to my door.
I will not be sleeping, eating, or doing anything else until the work is complete and will only get up to pee or roll my eyes so they don't fall out of my head.
These are desperate times.
Behold my desperate measures.
Update: So I couldn't stay awake any longer and ran out in the freezing cold for coffee.
Then I missed the bus to Starbucks and was like...
FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!
...but then I remembered there was a great alternative to Starbucks when in dire straits
Sugabelly Runs on Dunkin'
Update: So I couldn't stay awake any longer and ran out in the freezing cold for coffee.
Then I missed the bus to Starbucks and was like...
FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!
...but then I remembered there was a great alternative to Starbucks when in dire straits
Sugabelly Runs on Dunkin'
Thursday, January 13, 2011
My First Commission Ever! - Pwetty Bambi's Banner
Earlier last week I finished my first ever commission. Pwetty Bambi asked me for a graphic for a new banner on her blog and she said she wanted a Fulani girl so I figured that since she writes a beauty blog, I should do a Fulani girl with her calabash full of make up.
I started the pencil work in the middle of the night during laundry
Beginning the ink
Adding more detail
I have to say, I thoroughly enjoyed (and thoroughly hated) doing this commission. I hated it because I decided to put my heart and soul into it and it was a lot of hard work (and we all know that laziness is one of my ...ahem... virtues). It took me about an hour and a half to complete the initial pencil work with all the details, two more hours to ink everything (with three different sizes of inking pens), after which I promptly fell asleep.
Inking complete (sometime around 4am)
When I woke up the next morning at 1:30pm (yes, I know) it was time to digitize the drawing. It then took me eleven hours to complete it, colour and all. At one point, my eyes turned red and a scary looking vein began to bulge out of my left eye so I had to take a break and put on a face mask to rest my eyes.
But in spite of all the suffering, I learned a lot about myself doing this commission. I promised myself that I would push myself to draw even when I am not confident and to try even though I am afraid that I cannot do it. My biggest fear doing this commission was colouring it. I was very frightened of having to colour this drawing because I have never coloured digitally before and I am still trying to master Copics. This was my first ever attempt at colouring digitally with Photoshop (a program that I am very ashamed as a so-called artist to admit that I still don't know how to use - well at least for anything more complicated than removing pimples from my pictures).
I was really afraid but somehow I got through it by repeating in my head - "This is for a client, so you must give it your all." over and over again and from the looks of things, the colour turned out okay.
After two days of non-stop drawing I was very relieved when it was finally finished. Now that I look at it with non-exhausted eyes, I'm almost itching to go back and tweak it because I see a lot of things that I would like to improve. Luckily, I've already given it to Pwetty Bambi and she's put it up so I shall have to save the energy for another drawing.
Anyway, here is the finished product. I also made a bunch of test banners for Pwetty Bambi and also a badge.
Pwetty Bambi's Blog Commission
I made this graphic specifically for Pwetty Bambi's blog so please do not use it/copy it etc no matter how much you might like it. Please be content to just enjoy it visually on the blog on which it is featured.
Pwetty Bambi has a great blog about makeup and style with lots of awesome video tutorials. If you like her blog, please consider linking to it using the badge I made for her below by including it as a widget/sidebar link/image on your own blog. (That way if you like this image you can still have it on your blog but in a legal way - heh heh ^_^)
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
The Hotness of Emeka Iheme ... and Other Igbo Men
So it appears that some time over the Christmas/Winter break, Geraldine Iheme (who I did not know had ever been a Big Brother housemate but obviously am now finding out) had a book launch to fête the release of her first novel.
Being that her brother is Emeka Iheme, the event (predictably) turned into a Loyola Affair. For those who are confused, a "Loyola Affair" occurs whenever a person who attended Loyola Jesuit College (such as myself, Bob-Ij, Mellowyel, Nosa, Nmachi Jidenma, Bez, etc... or in this case, Emeka Iheme) or a person very closely related or affiliated with a former LJC person (in this case Geraldine Iheme - Emeka Iheme's sister) does anything significant or that involves publicity and it is subsequently overrun by Loyola People and their associates.
Like so:
Anyway, it's exciting that more young Nigerians are expressing themselves boldly in so many different ways, and I am very happy for Geraldine. Her book launch was covered by Bella Naija so it is bound to get some good and well-deserved publicity. What is really interesting however, is that the comments on Bella Naija (and the commenters on Bella Naija are legendary for their...um...comments) very quickly veered away from discussing the actual book launch and the book to a detailed analysis of Emeka Iheme's hotness:
Like so:
Emeka Iheme was in my class for three years and the word that always sprang to mind first whenever I thought about him was ... goofy. Probably because he was always laughing and messing about and making jokes (often at my expense too) but since thanks to Bella Naija he is now on the radar of all Internet-using Nigerian women, allow me to furnish you with some unsolicited examples of Emeka Iheme's hotness.
I'm betting this post stays up until Emeka catches me... which given the number of Loyola people hanging around my corner of the Internet, I am estimating will take eight hours max. So, enjoy the hotness of Emeka Iheme while you can, and I hope that they convince you and not confuse you on the equal hotness of Other Igbo Men.
Update: If you are interested in stalking Emeka Iheme, follow him on Twitter @theboyemeka
Geraldine Iheme (far right) and her family
Being that her brother is Emeka Iheme, the event (predictably) turned into a Loyola Affair. For those who are confused, a "Loyola Affair" occurs whenever a person who attended Loyola Jesuit College (such as myself, Bob-Ij, Mellowyel, Nosa, Nmachi Jidenma, Bez, etc... or in this case, Emeka Iheme) or a person very closely related or affiliated with a former LJC person (in this case Geraldine Iheme - Emeka Iheme's sister) does anything significant or that involves publicity and it is subsequently overrun by Loyola People and their associates.
Like so:
(source)
Bez
Chizor Dike
Antonia and Ronami Egirani
Nneka Agbim, Kenny Isichei, and Joan Ezeoba
Emeka Iheme
Emeka Iheme and undoubted Loyola Associates
Loyola Associates
Anyway, it's exciting that more young Nigerians are expressing themselves boldly in so many different ways, and I am very happy for Geraldine. Her book launch was covered by Bella Naija so it is bound to get some good and well-deserved publicity. What is really interesting however, is that the comments on Bella Naija (and the commenters on Bella Naija are legendary for their...um...comments) very quickly veered away from discussing the actual book launch and the book to a detailed analysis of Emeka Iheme's hotness:
Like so:
Emeka Iheme was in my class for three years and the word that always sprang to mind first whenever I thought about him was ... goofy. Probably because he was always laughing and messing about and making jokes (often at my expense too) but since thanks to Bella Naija he is now on the radar of all Internet-using Nigerian women, allow me to furnish you with some unsolicited examples of Emeka Iheme's hotness.
(This is more the Emeka I remember)
Update: If you are interested in stalking Emeka Iheme, follow him on Twitter @theboyemeka
Friday, January 7, 2011
What a Way to Start the Year
On the second day of the New Year, I woke up seriously ill and had to be hospitalised. It was really frightening because I was carried off in an ambulance with shakes, a terrible fever, and an awful pain in my abdomen.
I was in the hospital all day, and they did a barrage of tests - blood, urine, cat scan, the works. At first they couldn't find anything wrong with me, but then the cat scan results came back and the doctor walked in with a funny look on his face.
Apparently, the cat scan showed that my entire lower abdomen was blocked, which is weird because I've never been constipated in my life (well except for that one time at Man O'War training- and that's a story for another day).
It turns out that I almost died because of shit. SHIT!! SHIT is what almost killed me. After all the drama and saying my last prayers and begging Baba God, they just gave me a bottle of Magnesium Citrate and sent me home to go sit on the toilet.
I drank the entire bottle in one go and spent the next 24 hours running to the toilet and passing what looked like greenish grey sewage (Yes, I inspect my poo and you should too. Don't judge me - all health conscious [or in my case, plain curious] people do it.)
Long story short, I'm as good as new now and thankful to Suliph for coming with me to the hospital and staying by my bedside all day without food as we watched a horribly depressing show on Fit TV called Dr.G about people that died from mysterious causes (at least four of them died from shit-related blocked abdomens) while waiting for the test results to come back.
Suliph is being mean to me again. As you can see she derives great pleasure in making me cry:
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Happy New Year!!!!
And another year begins. Here's to a hopeful new year of NOT making the same mistakes as last year, of lots and lots of art, of just living and being happy, of hard work and well-earned success and of following and finding dreams.
May this year be all that and more.
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