Burnout

Sometimes you do something so often that all the joy you used to get doing it gets sucked out of you.

That's how I've been feeling for the past couple of months. Burned out. Tired of writing, tired of blogging, tired of drawing even.

I needed a break, and while I don't feel 100% yet, just not doing any of it for a while has helped me feel significantly better.

Drawing especially. I think when it comes to art, I hold myself to such impossibly high standards that anything short of perfection is an utter disappointment for me.

I had a commission I was really excited about, but half way through I just couldn't execute the vision the way it was in my (and the client's ) mind. Making the decision to terminate the commission half way through was a torturous process but I think I learned that it's alright to acknowledge my weak points and I'm not perfect. I never went to art school or studied art formally so certain things like colour theory are really difficult for me and it should be okay to say that to myself.

Inside I feel it's unacceptable and part of me is indignant and angry saying 'why can't you colour perfectly??' but that part of me needs to accept that I have so much to learn and I need to take some time off and study colour theory (which is something I would have had the opportunity to learn had I gone to art school).

So, that's where I've been. I'm over it, I've moved on. I'm determined to learn as much as I possibly can and become a better artist.

No matter what.