Inertia

For the past year, and a couple of months, it's felt like I've been floating in a fog. I moved here from Abuja with a sense of purpose (or so I thought), to start my life over from scratch, make a lot of money, and sort out the issues that have plagued me for a large portion of my existence. Instead, a lot of my plans failed to launch, and I fell into a routine of depression and isolation that seemed to have no end in sight. It got so bad, that every day going back and forth through Union Station, I'd stand on the platform waiting for my train, and as the train approached, I'd ask myself "would it be so bad if I just jumped?" I thought about this every day for most of last year, but I couldn't pluck the courage to do it, and mostly guilt over causing my family pain and worry made me hesitate. Plus, in a random conversation with someone, I heard that people who jump in front of trains don't die immediately like I'd always believed. He said they get all twisted up instead, but the force of the train holds them together and keeps them alive, and it's only when the train is moved back off them that they come apart and die. I don't know how true this is, and I've had the unpleasant experience of accidentally coming across gory photos online to go look it up, but the possibility of it being true was enough to discourage me significantly. The same friend then told me that I shouldn't be looking to end it, but instead looking for ways to help me manage my depressive episodes instead. He told me that the popularity spike in medical marijuana had good reason to gain the popularity it has as a medicine, for many a different illness - and not just mental issues either. Considering I have never rolled a cigarette or a marijuana joint, I didn't know how I'd go about experimenting with marijuana to see if it could work for me. That's when my friend told me about glass pipes and "bongs" that you can fill with marijuana and simply inhale. Like I said, cigarettes are not really for me, but I would definitely be interested in an

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