Letting Go and Cleaning Out

I've decided I need to focus on myself for the rest of the summer. Healing my emotional wounds, healing the damage I've wrought on my body and figuring out who I am and what I want to do. Love can wait right now. I can't.. I'm incapable of loving myself right now even though so many people have said that is what I need to do. I can't love myself so I take all that extra and focus it on HL extra hard.

I need to become comfortable with myself again.

Yesterday I started another Master Cleanse. I did it before in february or maybe march for 14 days. This time, I'm going to be on the Master Cleanse for 40 days.I probably should have done a post about it yesterday but I was too tired. Also, this time I'm going to be exercising in addition to fasting so hopefully I'll lose at least my target (which is 40lbs). If everything goes as planned I'll be under 200lbs and able to exercise more heavily by the end of the summer.

After completing the Master Cleanse, I plan to do P90x while on a raw food/semi-vegetarian diet. I'll let everyone know how it goes.

As for HL. I don't know. I've sort of given up. I understand what he wants but it conflicts with what I want so strongly that I'm not sure how to deal with it. I like him. That much is obvious. He's my friend and I like him for that. But he's also more than that to me and I don't know how to deal with my feelings for him because I'm not entirely sure he's sure what we're supposed to be doing with each other Some days things feel so intense and some days I feel like crying so I need to step away.. for better or for worse.

I'm thinking about doing really short videos for the Master Cleanse updates. We'll see. Either way, I hope everyone had a nice weekend and will have a nice week.

P.s. I am so hungry!! =(

Also, it turns out I was nominated in 5 award categories at the Nigerian Blog Awards!!! Please Vote for me!!

I promise there'll be nice bribes for people that help me win all five. ;P