Who are the people in your neighbourhood? If you live in Nigeria, you probably run into all sorts of characters on a daily basis. Of course, where you live and what your social status is influence the type of crowd you run with, but regardless of where you've been and who you are, if you live or are in Nigeria, sooner or later, you will run into all of the following people.

The Ajebutter Pastor (religiosium materialis)

General Characteristics:

 According to the Ajebutter Pastor, God wants you to have it all. Forget that nonsense about rejecting material things. Poverty is an evil plot designed by the Devil!

The Ajebutter Pastor knows that good Christians everywhere receive the fruit of the Holy Spirit in the form of multi million naira bonuses, needlessly flashy cars and more houses than they know what to do with. This is why his lavish life is only surpassed by the number of his church members and the amount of curl activator it took to jerry curl his hair this morning.

His sermons are no less fiery than those of his lesser privileged cousin (The Ajepako Pastor) but while the Ajepako Pastor bleats on about fire and brimstone and the need to live piously with morals and virtue, the Ajebutter Pastor burns with the passion of achieving gold-plated, money-plastered success.

Never mind that you stole a few billion from the nation’s coffers. One cannot receive true salvation until they are flying from point A to point B in three private jets. It’s all a sign you are blessed by the Lord.

Natural Habitat: Mega churches and Gulfstream jets.

Notable Habits: Taking from the poor to give to the rich and a fondness for all things bright and shiny

Natural Enemies: The Ajepako Pastor (The only pastor who actually does his job)

Related To: The Cash Madam, and The Alhaji