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Today I will burn all things that remind me of him. Today I will purge myself of him. Today I will choose to forget and never remember, so that Tomorrow I can run and never look back.
All the other times we had fights. All the other times he distrusted me, the perpetuity for which I distrusted him, I kept everything that held us together because I still loved him, and there was hope. He always came back.
Abandon all hope
All ye who enter here
He will never come back, and in the off chance that he does, I shouldn't let him. It's been three years of torture. Of happiness and pleasure too, but also of torture, of fear, of pain. Three years of me smiling to his face and crying in the darkness. Three years of wearing a mask because I was afraid of what he would do if he knew what was under it. Afraid that if he knew I was afraid of him, if he knew how much pain he caused me, he would like it.
Today I will burn everything, and it may not make me feel better, but it will set me free. I'm not happy for him. I'm not happy for them, but at the same time, resenting her will do me no good. Hating him would only help if there was an ample opportunity for revenge, but that is unlikely. I hate having to be the bigger person. Sometimes, it feels better to just give in to rage and obliterate everything in your path. This is one of those times, but I can't. And because I can't, I have to let it go. What good would it do me anyway? I'd probably work up the fury of a thousand storms and bear down on him only to find myself incapable of hurting him. Her, definitely, but probably not him. So what is the point?
Today I will burn everything, because this is eating me alive. Because if I don't, I will just stop. I'm already broken. If I don't do this I will shut down entirely. Today I will seal Bakura away with his gifts and his cursed friends and bury them at the ends of the Earth. I will set today aside to mourn him one last time, and tomorrow, it will be over.
I will never, no more, when I cry, speak your name with pain