The Twins

are getting on my nerves. It is one thing to be a little girl and wish for big breasts, and it is another thing to actually get your wish. My breasts are growing out of control, and at this point I frankly just want to lop them off and sell them on eBay.

Last year I was a double D. Now I'm something more like a double E. If they grow any bigger, I am reaching for the kitchen knife. It doesn't even help that they are so high up on my chest. I know I should be thankful that my breasts aren't swinging by my knees, but seriously, it's easy to have perfectly round perky breasts when they are only a B cup which is what I had when I was nine, but to have double Es sitting on your chest all purty and shit and expecting your muscles not to scream is ludicrous. My back aches, my shoulders ache, my bloody breasts ache. They are HEAVY. I think they weigh about 50 pounds each. I need a massage.

:(