Things Noone Tells You About NYSC Camp

There is nowhere to pee without at least ten men seeing you.

Men seem to outnumber women in university education. My camp is two thirds male.

Camp Officials and Soldiers are all on a permanent Power Trip.

I saw a soldier slap a girl for absolutely no reason my second day here.

Students that went to school in Nigeria are unable to answer even the simplest question without long winded and unnecessary introductions and definitions.

(Question: What is your name?

Nigerian Student: A name is a type of noun that is used to identify a person, therefore...blah blah blah.... My name is lalalala)

An alarmingly large number of students that went to school in Nigeria (or at least the ones in this camp) seem to have little or no grasp of the English language.

How the hell did they graduate then?? This is the never ending mystery.

There are no toilets in this camp. Noone is pooing. I've gone once since I've been here and I had to sneak out of camp to a field across the road and sit on a bucket I'd spread a large nylon bag over.

Sitting there under the stars, wondering what I was doing with my life in this God forsaken camp, my reverie was broken by a soldier flashing his torch light on my naked bum and demanding to know what I was doing there.

At this point, I didn't even give a shit anymore (no pun intended ) so I confessed what I was doing and he had no choice but to tell me to carry on.

I know from personal experience, that this does not apply to all Nigerian men, and quite possibly not to all Nigerian men that went to school in Nigeria, but I'm working with what I see in front of me, and with the exception of perhaps ten people, all the people in this camp attended uni here.

The men in this camp know NOTHING about chasing / talking to girls.

They have no game. None. zero. Swag minus hundred.

How can you tell me you "love for sucking big breasts" and expect me to be impressed??????

To be continued. The internet here is practically non existent.

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld from Glo Mobile.